And She’s Off

 My car is loaded and hopefully I will be too by 7 o’clock!  heheeehee

  I’m off to see my sweet D’Bear for a few days. We will be sitting on the porch in the evenings if any of you would like to share a bottle of good red wine with us. Stop by, sit a while, enjoy making catty and snarky remarks about the little soccer moms and cutesy girls and boys who frequently “jog” past on the sidewalks.  We’ll bring out some yummy cheese if you come visit. I’m partial to brie but D’Bear enjoys sharp Cheddars and smoked Gouda. There’s fruit and nuts (some of the nuts are human, some not so much. Come to think of it, so are some of the fruits!) We’re an equal opportunity porch!

  I’m hoping to get to Uncle Mo’s for some soul food this weekend. I’m jonesing for some more of those collard greens and ribs! MMMmmmmm….

  Have a great weekend, all!

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SURPRISE!!!!

 

 

 

She was so surprised! Our little birdpress never saw it coming even though we drove her right past the two huge bunches of balloons tied to the mailbox and address marker at her sister’s house on Sunday!

 We figured a way to lure her there. She wanted her sister to see her wedding gown so we told her that her sis would call us when Cole ( my grandson) woke up from his nap. She was getting a little impatient waiting but I told her that her sister had company so she wouldn’t try to go up the hill too early!

At 2:15 we got the call that Cole had woken up so “come on up”! We got birdpress and J. in the car and I asked D’Bear to drive us. He looked at me and mouthed “have the plans changed?” but I just shook my head and repeated my request that he come with us. I wanted him to drive us so he could get our car out of the driveway so the other guests would have room to maneuver. He didn’t figure it out till we got there! HA!

 She was so surprised!!! birdpress really doesn’t like to be the center of attention but she held up well despite her shock! She looked beautiful, so radiant, so happy. She’s a good gift-receiver. Ya know what I mean? She’s one of the good people who really know how to make the giver feel wonderful. She makes each present seem like the best one and every guest feel like the one she most wanted to see. It’s a talent to be that gracious.

 She got lots of goodies: towels, kitchen goodies, LOTS of gift cards, and even a sexy nighty or two, thanks to yours truly and her maid of honor. (You’re welcome, J.!)

 Earlier in the day we had “The Breakfast”.. My STBE (Soon-To-Be-Ex), his girlfriend, me and D’Bear, birdpress and J., her sister and husband, and birdpress’s best friend and maid of honor along with her friend all met for breakfast at the resort where the wedding is set to take place. It was threatening to rain but the place was beautiful just the same with flowers blooming in the lovely gardens and the gazebo freshly painted a gleaming white out back.

I manipulated it so that the bride-to-be and J. were in the center of the long table with the STBE and his gal at one end and me on the other with D’Bear. So far so good.

After breakfast we were scheduled to meet with one of the owners to go over the wedding details and look at the hall where the event is to take place. As I waited for D’Bear to get an umbrella from the car the rest of the group took off and started making decisions about the rehearsal dinner. Fiona (I call her that because she reminds me of Shrek’s girlfriend but not so pretty) and the STBE  acted as though I wasn’t there! At one point Fiona had the door to the pavilion blocked with her fat ass so I couldn’t even get inside!

 They then proceed to march to the banquet hall and Fiona is talking to the owner a mile a minute, asking questions as if this is her daughter getting married, not mine. At no point did anyone say “hey, wait a minute, maybe Trisha has some ideas here” or “hey, Trisha, what do YOU think?”  As D’Bear and I brought up the rear I passed a coat rack and grabbed a wooden coat-hanger but he made me put it back. Damn! I almost had it!

 And then my stomach started to cramp. I felt the urge to go. I hadto GO! I rushed to the Ladies’ Room. Thank goodness it was open and empty. I stayed in there, relieving my cramping gut for several minutes when I heard the door open and the voice of the maid-of-honor say ” did you bring your flask in here?” She cracks me up. She is birdpress’s oldest and best friend in the world and I love this woman to pieces.

 I finally felt better, marched back in with the group and things went better after that. I made some assertive noises, plans were made, and things ended smoothly, even though Fiona still made self-important clucking noises and tried to hold court . She doesn’t stand a chance. This is MY baby girl getting married. Watch out, beeyotch.

 All in all, I feel I conducted myself well. I never beat her with that coat-hanger  lost my cool or did anything to embarrass myself or birdpress.  I didn’t make mooing sounds when she talked. I never oinked as she ate the fourth pancake at breakfast and I did not stick out my tongue and make cootie signs when she walked in front of me.

 The wedding should be fun.

Booze and Food Stuff

Anthony Bourdain

Anthony Bourdain and prop

Ok, since last weekend was all about drinking and eating and hoop dancing I ‘ve been thinking about that stuff constantly. In my last incarnation I owned a kitchenware store and taught cooking classes with some really good chefs. Food is and has always been a big part of my life. Some of the best times I ever had was after class when the chefs and I were finally sitting down and talking over the results of the class (and gossiping about the students!) We would get to brainstorming ideas or tell each other about some brilliant dish we’d made or eaten recently. I love cooks!

My favorite celebrity chef is Anthony Bourdain. If you have never seen him on his TV show “No Reservations” do yourself a favor and watch it! He is a decadent, chain-smoking, booze-guzzling, food-aholic and I am madly in love with him. He writes brilliantly too and my favorite book of his is called “The Nasty Bits”. Awesome stuff!

ADVOCATE PHOTOS BY JILL JANSS

ADVOCATE PHOTOS BY JILL JANSS

 

 

 

One of the things I enjoyed most was a vodka infusion our friend Becca in Rochester made. She had purchased two whole pineapples but by the time she went to use them in a fruit tray they were a tad overripe. Being the smart cookie that she is she promptly chopped them up, stuffed them both in a big old glass jar and dumped a load of vodka over them. She set them aside for about a week or two then strained it into a bottle, (saving the fruit for other uses) and Oh. My. God!

 This stuff is GOOD! Served ice cold in little liqueur glasses straight up, it’s the sweetest, smoothest stuff you’ve ever had! I was sipping this, imagining how many ways I could use it: over vanilla ice cream, blended with coconut cream or coconut milk and served in a Margarita glass with a skewer of pineapple and mint,or maybe as a main ingredient in a kick-ass marinade for pork or chicken! The mind reels!

Also, since the other neighbors are known for their outrageous parties and the gorgeous male part of this arrangement is famous for his Jello Shots I thought I needed to bring a dish that tied in with that theme. Since my darling D. loves Jello Cake I decided to make Jello Shot Cake! This is my original idea folks so give me some of the credit when you make it and everyone tells you how great it is!  All you need to do is bake a simple white cake from a mix in a 9×13 cake pan as directed. Let that cool down in the pan and then mix two packs of raspberry Jello with 1 1/2 cups boiling water. Mix well and allow to cool to room temperature or slightly above. Then stir in 1 cup vodka and 1/2 cup Chambord Liqueur. Poke holes in the cake with a skewer or chopstick  (I prefer a chopstick) and then pour the Jello mixture over the cake. Cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate for several hours or overnight. Before serving spread generously with Cool Whip.  It is da BOMB! Of course this is NOT for underage consumers…..duh!!!!

 Hope this enhances your summer get-togethers!! Yum!!

Hey There!

Invisible Hula Cat

Invisible Hula Cat

    Hello, everyone! I’m Hoooo-oome!!

 I missed you all but things got so busy up there in good old Roch-cha-cha that I didn’t have time to blog. Heck I was having a grand old time, going to the Park Ave. Festival, partying with the coolest neighbors and new friends, and recovering from it all.

 Saturday night I had a few drinks, some great barbecue and after a few Jello Shots I taught a bunch of new friends how to hoop dance. I wasn’t able to bring my ready made hoops up to D.’s in the Miata because they just wouldn’t fit in that wee little car so I rolled up the irrigation tubing, brought my tapes and connectors and made a few after I got there. They came out great. I am finally getting the hang of putting the tapes on without wrinkling them. I even added some metallics to a couple!

 They were such a hit that people asked me where I sold them. I may be onto something here. (I gave them all away that night “cause that’s the kinda gal I am.) Perhaps I can talk a few friends into hoop dancing to music at a craft fair and I can make a few bucks doing something I love.  Wouldn’t that be a hoot? Nothing sells a product like genuine enthusiasm!

 Meanwhile I got home around 1:00 P.M. today to find all my plants drooping from lack of water. Now I know I shouldn’t expect people to read my mind but I kinda hoped my oldest daughter would have come by at least once to check on the plants and water them if they needed it (which they did!) I mean I asked her to do this a couple of weeks back and she did it but even though I could see that she had been by with the 4-wheeler she never stopped to check on things this week. I am a little perturbed. Not a real biggy but still…

 As a mom I’ve learned to anticipate the needs of my family so if something needs to be done I try to just do it. I guess I never passed that trait onto this particular kid, huh? Oh, well, I must learn to shrug off these little annoyances. They aren’t worth losing sleep over.

 D. will be coming down on Thursday to spend the weekend with me and my sweet daughter, Birdpress and her fiancé. I can’t wait to see my baby girl!  Can you believe my baby is getting married? Holy cow!

I am looking forward to Sunday because that’s the day my STBE (Soon-To-Be-Ex) is giving a breakfast for us all at the place where Birdpress is getting married. It’s a beautiful farm resort just outside of town with gorgeous gardens and the BEST food!

  It may prove to be quite entertaining as this will be the first time we are all together at one time: me, the STBE, our respective new partners, plus the two daughters and their significant others, and a friend of the family.  I was dreading it but D. made me see that this may be the most fun one can have fully clothed! Just watching the STBE’s girlfriend squirm will be exciting. Rumor has it that she’s terrified to be around me! HA!! I love it! WTF does she think I’m gonna do? Rip her hair out? Dig my nails into her face? HELL NO! I want to thank her for taking that nasty man out of my hair! (Well, maybe not thank her per se…)

 So tomorrow I play catch up : laundry, weeding, watering, cleaning house, paying bills, etc. It’s nice to be home and I missed you all terribly. Did you behave while I was gone? I heard some of you were rather naughty…..