She was so surprised! Our little birdpress never saw it coming even though we drove her right past the two huge bunches of balloons tied to the mailbox and address marker at her sister’s house on Sunday!
We figured a way to lure her there. She wanted her sister to see her wedding gown so we told her that her sis would call us when Cole ( my grandson) woke up from his nap. She was getting a little impatient waiting but I told her that her sister had company so she wouldn’t try to go up the hill too early!
At 2:15 we got the call that Cole had woken up so “come on up”! We got birdpress and J. in the car and I asked D’Bear to drive us. He looked at me and mouthed “have the plans changed?” but I just shook my head and repeated my request that he come with us. I wanted him to drive us so he could get our car out of the driveway so the other guests would have room to maneuver. He didn’t figure it out till we got there! HA!
She was so surprised!!! birdpress really doesn’t like to be the center of attention but she held up well despite her shock! She looked beautiful, so radiant, so happy. She’s a good gift-receiver. Ya know what I mean? She’s one of the good people who really know how to make the giver feel wonderful. She makes each present seem like the best one and every guest feel like the one she most wanted to see. It’s a talent to be that gracious.
She got lots of goodies: towels, kitchen goodies, LOTS of gift cards, and even a sexy nighty or two, thanks to yours truly and her maid of honor. (You’re welcome, J.!)
Earlier in the day we had “The Breakfast”.. My STBE (Soon-To-Be-Ex), his girlfriend, me and D’Bear, birdpress and J., her sister and husband, and birdpress’s best friend and maid of honor along with her friend all met for breakfast at the resort where the wedding is set to take place. It was threatening to rain but the place was beautiful just the same with flowers blooming in the lovely gardens and the gazebo freshly painted a gleaming white out back.
I manipulated it so that the bride-to-be and J. were in the center of the long table with the STBE and his gal at one end and me on the other with D’Bear. So far so good.
After breakfast we were scheduled to meet with one of the owners to go over the wedding details and look at the hall where the event is to take place. As I waited for D’Bear to get an umbrella from the car the rest of the group took off and started making decisions about the rehearsal dinner. Fiona (I call her that because she reminds me of Shrek’s girlfriend but not so pretty) and the STBE acted as though I wasn’t there! At one point Fiona had the door to the pavilion blocked with her fat ass so I couldn’t even get inside!
They then proceed to march to the banquet hall and Fiona is talking to the owner a mile a minute, asking questions as if this is her daughter getting married, not mine. At no point did anyone say “hey, wait a minute, maybe Trisha has some ideas here” or “hey, Trisha, what do YOU think?” As D’Bear and I brought up the rear I passed a coat rack and grabbed a wooden coat-hanger but he made me put it back. Damn! I almost had it!
And then my stomach started to cramp. I felt the urge to go. I hadto GO! I rushed to the Ladies’ Room. Thank goodness it was open and empty. I stayed in there, relieving my cramping gut for several minutes when I heard the door open and the voice of the maid-of-honor say ” did you bring your flask in here?” She cracks me up. She is birdpress’s oldest and best friend in the world and I love this woman to pieces.
I finally felt better, marched back in with the group and things went better after that. I made some assertive noises, plans were made, and things ended smoothly, even though Fiona still made self-important clucking noises and tried to hold court . She doesn’t stand a chance. This is MY baby girl getting married. Watch out, beeyotch.
All in all, I feel I conducted myself well. I never beat her with that coat-hanger lost my cool or did anything to embarrass myself or birdpress. I didn’t make mooing sounds when she talked. I never oinked as she ate the fourth pancake at breakfast and I did not stick out my tongue and make cootie signs when she walked in front of me.