I’m ready to call it a day.
On Thursdays I usually clean my oldest daughter’s house. Not because I’m such a good mom (although I am ) but because she said a few months ago that she wanted to hire a housekeeper. My ears perked up at that!! What? I can do that! Who keeps the cleanest house around? Who can you trust more than yo’ mama? I could sure use the money!! Me! Hire me!!!
She was happy to agree but asked that I not mention it to our family and friends that “Mom” was cleaning her house. She was a bit embarrassed!! Not me! I couldn’t care less if people know I clean her house. I am not ashamed of it. Why would I be? I have always said that any job has dignity if it’s done with dignity.
We agreed to the going rate which ain’t bad, folks. Not plumbers’ rates but still, not bad. And Lord knows I could use the money. STBE (Soon-to-be-Ex) is not exactly playing fair with the marital assets so cash is king (or should I say Queen) with me right now.
I like to think of myself as the cute French maid.
But I am more like Dobbie the house elf.
I was at her house at 7:30 this morning with my cleaning supplies in hand. Shelby, their dog, is a short white log of a dog, somewhere between West Highland Terrier and sausage link. She loves me. I give her great drool-inducing back scratches… and treats occasionally. Shelby barks at me when I put my key in the door but goes into “back-scratch whore” mode as soon as I walk in. It’s nice to feel wanted.
I start upstairs usually. It’s a big house so I start with the upstairs master bath and bedroom and work my way downstairs. It usually takes me between 4-6 hours to do a good thorough job. I don’t take breaks except to pee.
Today I got the major portion of laundry done, cleaned all three bedrooms, two full baths, laundry room, and hallway and started on the downstairs vacuuming as I went. The most challenging thing today was cleaning out the Diaper Genie. Holy shit! That thing weighed about 30 lb. and when I opened it to remove the bag filled with soiled diapers the stink almost knocked me over. It was weird. I had never emptied it before. The diapers go in the top and then you twist the this thing on the top and it seals the dirty poop rag so the odor is trapped. Yeah, till someone tries to take it out!! When I remove the bag from the device the diapers were sealed in sections in this plastic bag. It looked like very nasty sausage links!!
I had just gotten the front entrance way vacuumed when the electricity went off.
I waited a minute or two to see if it would come back on but no; it stayed dead. OK, what to do. I really wanted to get this done, get payed and then spend the remainder of time before the weekend preparing for D.’s arrival on Friday night.
I decided to use that archaic tool, the broom! It worked great except on the carpet, of course. I was able then to mop the downstairs and except for cleaning the hall bath in total darkness I think I did a pretty good job. Done and home!!
I got home anticipating lunch and a shower and then realized I couldn’t nuke the soup I had planned on eating for lunch. Plan B. : cottage cheese and fresh salsa!! Yum! God, I’d kill for a cup of coffee now! No can do, you fool!
I always think of myself as an independent sort of woman but every time the electricity goes out I remember just how dependent I am on it. Living in the country I have a well, so no water without an electric pump to bring it in. No microwave. No lights. NO …ah… OMG… NO COMPUTER!!!! AGGHHHH!! What will I do? How will I survive the afternoon???
Luckily the power came back on shortly after 1:00 so I got my shower after all. The rest of my day was spent grocery shopping and cleaning my own house. Tonight D. said, in anticipation of his arrival: ” don’t fuss!” Well, duh! I already did!!!!!! I got his skim milk, his Rose’s Lime Juice, his English Muffins and his Diet Coke. I baked yummy brownies. I cleaned the shower. I changed the sheets. I even spritzed them with linen spray so they smell nice.
Lord, I’m tired.
It’s already 11:30 so I should get some sleep. I can barely stand the wait till I see him tomorrow night. I’m so excited.
I’m thinking a skirt, thigh high stockings and my bad-girl shoes…….