my new love

Yes, I have a new love in my life. I just got this little sweetheart. I love her!


2001 Mazda Miata MX-5 LS Limited Edition


There is something so thrilling about driving on winding country roads witht the wind in your hair, the smells of nature all around you, the hum of the engine accenting the soulful CD playing on your sound system.

 This car is fun to drive!!! I have always wanted a Miata and when this one came available I knew she had to be mine!

 British Racing Green, low mileage, and mint condition! What a joy!

Let’s just say….

It was a crazzzzy weekend, last weekend.

My BFF’s youngest daughter got married. She (the BFF) is originally from Norway. Oodles of Norveeejuns vas ober here for dis vedding, ya! OOf Dah!. The groom’s family is from Turkey. They came. They saw Americans. They’ll never be the same.

 They combined many of the rituals and customs of both nationalities in this four-day-wedding-extravaganza! Evidently drinking and dancing are universally recognized as the way to start off a marriage. ( I happen to know it helps the rest of the time, too!)

On Thursday there was a ceremony for the women where henna is applied to one palm  of each lady to assure luck. I got a big blob of it in my right hand. A piece of gauze was placed over that and tied in the back of my hand. I was told to leave it for 20 minutes then wash it off.

Platter of Turkish wedding henna and accoutrements

Platter of Turkish wedding henna and accoutrements

The bride has henna applied to both hands, then a lacy bag is tied over her hands while the henna does its dying magic, leaving the bride-to-be with stinky orange palms.

Bride-to-be before henna

Bride-to-be before henna

Supposedly it signifies purification of some sort. All I know is it doesn’t come off for a couple of weeks and it kinda smells like sour cooked spinach.

Then there were the belly dancers who tried to teach us how to shake that groove thang.


I tried it. I think I am missing some extra hinge-y  thing in my hips  that lets her do this!

The next morning I woke up, went to the bathroom, did my business, wiped and then saw that brownish-orange blotch and thought I’d shit on my own hand! It took me a minute to realize that it was indeed the henna and not me being nasty. Well, we drank some the night before…

 Friday evening was more dancing, more drinking. Then some more eating, drinking, and then more dancing.   One lady snuck a grab of D’Bear’s ass while he was on the dance floor!  It pretty much made his whole weekend! LOL

Saturday, Wedding Day, turned out sunny and beautiful. The bride was radiant, the groom marvelously handsome, the ceremony poignant and heartfelt. Then there was more dancing. LOTS of dancing! Drinking and dancing and dancing and drinking! A good time was had by all…. I think. I know I had fun!

 Sunday I paid the piper (f*cking piper!). D’Bear and I mowed fields for six hours in the hot sun.  It’s amazing what a few Excedrin, a pot of strong coffee, and a tractor rumbling under you can do!

Not a DAMNED THING!  I still felt like hell!

scraping the bottom


Gotta love Bourdain!! What a ham bone!


After checking my Blog Stats here on WordPress, I thought it might be fun to take those search terms that keep bringing folks here and actually use them all in one post.

This is from yesterday:

anthony bourdain 134
fiona 38
french maid 20
collard greens 13
letter n 12
nick nolte 10
sexy maid 9
maid 7
the letter n 5
french maid costumes 4

So I will attempt to write something using all these words!


french maid2I am a maid. I am not French and yet I can speak French un petit peu. Therefore I shall call myself a French Maid ( because this is my blog and I am doing the writing!) I clean house for my oldest daughter because she pays very well and I happen to like house work! It’s a win-win situation for both of us! Plus I happen to hate being “supervised”.  I can work all day scraping the crud from her home as long as no one tries to tell me how or when to do it!

I am also a huge fan of the show “No Reservations” starring my favorite chef Anthony Bourdain, who has French ancestry . Thus we are forever tied in this commonality!! OO la la!!

 I don’t think he has ever cooked collard greens,  but one day I would like to make them for him. My mother’s technique was to wash them, chop them and then cook them for 2 years with 10 pounds of pork. She would then serve them and all their glorious “pot likker” with  her own homemade skillet cornbread. This is why I have always had a problem with my weight. I grew up eating this shit that tastes like heaven to every southern Florida Cracker girl!

 I grew up eating what most people think of as “Soul food” . Black-eyed peas, collards, mustard greens, catfish, and cornbread with red-eye gravy were staples at my mother’s table.  And dried lima beans if you were a bad girl. I must have been very bad as a child since I can remember gagging my way through plate after plate of the nastiest, glutinous-iest horror ever put before a child. Even a Troll like Fiona would not have eaten dried lima beans without gagging!

 Now I am not going to use the letter n word just because I’m from the South. I grew up friends with my Black neighbors. We looked out for one another. If my mom and I caught too many mullet for our family to eat right away we took the extra over to Blue who would gladly take them for his supper! He raked our yard in exchange for our surpluses. We gave him produce from my mother’s bounteous garden and he did what he could considering his lame foot and curved spine. We took care of one another back in those days.

Nick Nolte played a Southern gentleman in the Pat Conroy version of The Prince of Tides. I loved him back in the old days when he was still handsome and I was still young enough to think I might have had a chance with him “if only”…. The Pat Conroy novels were some of my favorite books, and still are. He wrote about things that I grew up with , like the crazy relatives, the drinking, the spousal abuse, the real South, ya unnerstand!!

 I am trying to decide if buying a sexy French Maid outfit would make my man, D’Bear happy.

Who am I kidding? Of course it would!

Is this what it’s gonna be like??

My dearest friend, W. , is 9 years older than I and in the past two years has gone through several serious and life-threatening health issues. Her husband has also had a few surgeries the past few years after a lifetime of really bad habits. Now they spend half their time going from one doctor to another. Her calendar is filled with doctor appointments, lab tests, MRIs, and check-ups with one specialist after another.

Recently I re-injured a badly torn rotator cuff injury in my left shoulder while doing any one of a dozen chores around this big old farm of mine. It could have been caused by picking up huge rocks from the field or from restacking the wood pile, or perhaps moving 5-gallon gas cans around. Who knows?

Either way , the result has been that I am often brought  to tears from the wrong movement of my left arm. In the mornings I have learned that the only way to tackle the day is to get up, put the coffee on, and take a pain killer! Then maybe twenty minutes later, after a hot shower, I can hook my bra and pull up my pants without being brought to my knees from the pain.

 I have an appointment with my internist tomorrow to get the ball rolling on repairing this injury. Insurance companies have a whole series of procedures one must endure, in the proper order, in order to get anything done. So I see my internist  who will send me for x-rays and an MRI and then from there I will see an orthopedic surgeon. Having a daughter who is a physical therapist comes in handy here because she sees first-hand the work done by our local surgeons and knows who to recommend.

 Yesterday I had a follow-up visit with my gastroenterologist and today I had a check-up at my OB/Gyn’s  and tomorrow I see the internist. AAGGH!!! I am becoming like my friend! Every day filled with doctors and tests and poking and prodding and co-pays!!

 I hate getting older.