suck sucky suck suck

cheap-fun-wineYeah, I’m pissed. And depressed.

I’m 55 years-old, smart, reasonably attractive, and fairly well-liked! I dress well, speak well, and I have SKILZ, baby!

If I were younger I would consider making an offer to sleep my way into a job.  I’d also take pictures and blackmail their asses but still….money is money.

On Friday, three days ago my daughter called me from work to tell me that one of her patients mentioned that a job had just opened for a Marketing Director at a nearby assisted living facility. She suggested that I would be ideal for the job and since I had “insider” information I might be able to beat the crowds looking for work there. It was too late to get my resume out to them by that time so first thing this morning, Monday, I called them to ask for an appointment and was told the position had already been filled.  WTF?

So I have decided that if I live frugally enough I may be able to make it through till I sell this place, collect Social Security (HA!), and maybe have something left over in my annuity to keep me from having to ask my kids to let me live with them.

So here are some ideas I have to save money:

I plan to unplug my clocks while I sleep. 

I will only eat whatever is on sale, and I will only buy what I know I will consume. In the past I have been rather wasteful. I have been known to buy items and then they sat in the freezer or produce bins until they were no longer edible. This spring I tossed some freezer burned edemame, chicken livers, a roast of dubious origins, several bags of Tater Tots , and a 4 lb. chunk of frozen Velveeta over the bank in the back field.  NO MORE! I also intend to start that diet. I think I can probably hibernate on these extra 20  40 lbs. I carry.

Two-ply toilet paper and paper towels? No more. Any remaining two-ply items will summarily be separated into single-ply and used thusly. By reducing my food intake (see above)  I will dramatically cut down on my own “solid-wastes” anyway!

I will get used to wearing a winter coat while in my house. My down comforter will substitute at night. Thermostats will be kept at 55 degrees.  I apologize to anyone visiting me but be forewarned to dress appropriately when coming by.

Coupons. I hate ’em. I will now use them.

Consignment clothing is chic, no? I may look retro-fashionable from now on (otherwise known as “the bag lady look”).

dress made from ramen noodles packages

dress made from ramen noodles packages

Mineral make-up is expensive but I love it. BareMinerals is my cosmetic of choice but perhaps some good old Pennsylvania dirt would work as well. It is, after all, mostly minerals! And it will work so well with the retro fashions I intend to adopt! Perhaps if I sterilize it in the microwave first…..

Siphoning gas from my ex’s vehicles will save me on gasoline bills for my car. Hey! Who asked him to build a house right across from me anyway?

If anyone would like to contribute suggestions on ways that I can save more money please comment and I will take them under consideration. If anyone would like to donate to my retirement fund…. I will adopt you. I could use the tax write-off of a dependent.

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21 comments on “suck sucky suck suck

  1. I would love to donate to the cause by I am a little on the hurting side right now too. My ex has decided to quit paying child support again and Tooters seems to have a lot more needs that cost me money this year. I too have started shopping thrift stores, brand new clother ha! only at christmas for me. My digital cable I love is getting ready to go away 8-(. I have discovered several new recipes that include Ramen as the base and learning alot more ways to cut corners. I also skip meals when I can, not that I cannot afford it and heck mayme this will be the way to help get those last stuborn 12 lbs I am struggling with. If that does not work I am sure all the bike riding around town will work. I have Tooters convinced this is fun even when it is 38 in the mornings lol. Well enuf whining for now.

    I wish I could do something for you my friend but I think it is going around equally right now.

    Sunnymom- That is THE SWEETEST comment! You would help if you could, I know it!! Awww! I luz you!!!
    BTW, NOT paying child support is not an option! Take his ass to court or let him go to jail! It’s his child and since she can’t exactly stop eating when he doesn’t find the funds to pay his share, well, he needs to figure something out!
    You are such a good mommy….

  2. I had to give in and live with the kids. Fortunately, they are very good to me. We quit using paper cups and the dish washer all at the same time. You wouldn’t believe how much water these kids drink and they always seem to need a new glass when they do it. Good Luck with this. 😉

    Joan- Thanks, Joan. I’m just feeling a little down. I admit, I was so psyched for that job that when I was told it had been filled already, well.. I cried just a little. Pity party is over!
    Oh, I know about the paper cups thing. No paper products except for toilet paper will be brought into this house !

  3. My first thought on the single-ply TP: I’d just be pulling twice as much off the roll to get an adequate wad. So maybe no savings there.

    And the job thing … sucks horribly trying to find a job at 55. Been there, done that.

  4. i am sorry about that position. It’s fierce out there, my friend. Something will come. i’m hoping for you. For us. Hell, for everyone!

    We’ve been on single ply for a while now. Can you say skidmarks?

    i’ve also given up whole coffee beans- which is killing me softly- but sacrifices must be made. i’ve also tried to cut down with the smokes, but the worry and stress make me want to smoke more. Besides, smoking helps me eat less so, you know, we save on groceries…

    We’re getting rid of stupid-ass Direct TV (which i’ve always hated and protested against from the beginning, but why listen to me? Instead, let’s be obligated to this ripoff for a year or two so your twerpy uncle can get fiddy dollars. And we don’t even watch TV like that! But you know. Whatevs.) which will save us like $80 bucks a month.

    If i win the lottery, you’ll be on my list of folks to give money to. i have about ten people so far. Let’s keep our fingers crossed!

    c.- You are such a kind and generous friend.
    Over the summer a friend and neighbor helped me fix my PC which had done a belly-up for some strange reason (probably viral) so I insisted he take a check for $100. He had spent two days on repairing it and getting it back up to speed.
    He took the money and bought me, D’Bear, two other good friends , and his wife and he a NY Lottery Club ticket , good for one year! If we win, (YES WE WILL positive thinking) I will do the same for you.

    My Direct TV ends this month. I won’t miss it. God bless Hulu.com!

    I buy my coffee at Aldi’s. Yes, Aldi’s!! Not bad. Not too bad.

    Eating out, while often expensive, is sometimes a better deal than eating in. Especially for one or two people. I tend to be what my daughter, Birdpress, calls a mono-eater. I eat one thing until either I get sick of it or I run out of it. ..whichever comes first.

    Meanwhile I am working on some alternitive methods for earning money. Can you say “Dick & Jane”?

    Thanks again, c.

    Love you.

  5. I’d gladly take you in if I could, I’m sure you know, but at the moment I have to start practicing for my new life as a dirt poor law school widow. We’ll be eating ramen along with you. Poor Alice may have to trade Innova for good ol’ Dog Chow pretty soon.

    In the meantime, I say we all skip Christmas this year! The gifts anyway. And maybe Josh and I should stay with dad, since, well, to be honest, I don’t know if I can handle the 55 degree thermostat!

    Sorry about the job thing. That really does suck. Want to learn a skilled trade? I’d be happy to teach you all I know and I’m sure you know enough people with dogs to get you started. You could turn that mini garage into a mighty fine pet salon… 😉

    Birdpress- Oh, Baby, I hope you know it won’t come to that . I would go live with your dad and Pat first because …well. it would make their lives so miserable! LOL
    NOT skipping Christmas but maybe doing less. Let’s sit on your sister until she agrees! OK?
    And I would gladly raise the thermostat to 70 degrees for you if you promise to stay here. I mean that! Unless of course you WANT to stay with your dad and Pat in order to prime them for ME! HEEHEEEEEE!!!
    And as much as dog grooming sounds cool, I think my old back would break in two if I had to do what you do every day. God bless you for all your hard work! I hope your clients appreciate what you do with their fat-ass dogs! ( I know that not all of them are fat-asses. I’m just sayin’.)

  6. Wearing the ramen dress might attract more men to you. Maybe not rich men . . . probably more hungry men.

    M Ballard- Hmm, that is a thought. Homeless, hungry men.. and this would help me how? I’m not at the Donner Pass yet…. But THANKS for the suggestion!! Heehee
    And thanks for stopping to comment!

  7. We are doing major cut backs at my house as well. I have not tried siphoning gas from my neighbors yet! Hmmm…
    Good luck in finding a job. Try to keep your chin up, something will come along.

    Just a Mom- Chin is in the upright position and the trays are placed back on the seat in front of me….oh, sorry, Thought I was on a plane for a minute there. LOL

    Thanks for the kind words. It seems I am in good company with this whole jobless/recession thing. I say we form a club. Wanna be the President?? 😆

  8. I’m so sorry for you. This economy and these times just suck. I wish you’d have gotten that job and not just for the money but for your self. You know, for YOU. We’ve had very frugal times a couple of times and being Paul has a family business, we take the hits first. Times do get hard but it sounds like you have a good handle on things. The worst part is finding a job that will pay you well enough to make it worth your while. They are so hard to come by. It seems “Welcome to Walmart” or fast food are readily available but won’t feed or clothe you. Good luck Trisha. I’m so sorry. If you need anything, please let me know and I’ll cross hell or high water to do what I can to help you out.

    Joy- I am so blessed. Who knew that when I started this WordPress blog that I would find such amazingly wonderful and caring people who have become like family to me. Joy, you are beautiful. Thank you from the bottom of my nasty little heart for that kind and generous comment. I know you mean it and that’s what I’m talking about.
    For the record, things are not all that bad, yet. I am trying to be proactive and find work that will provide enough income so that I don’t have to touch my retirement, considering that I have at the very least, 7 years before I can touch it.. and 10 before there is no penalty for drawing on the annuity.
    I am fine. Really. I am better than fine. I am amazingly wonderful and there will be a job if that’s what’s meant to be or maybe someone will come along and make me an offer on this humongous old farm and I will send you an enormous gift when that happens just for being such a good and loving friend!
    I believe I have lived a blessed life, Joy. It started off rocky as hell. But these last years have proven that if you get through the fire you can see the hills of heaven.
    Bless you and thank you.

  9. The only thing you missed was the generic cigarettes. Come on, when is living with the kids a bad thing? When is it ‘giving up?’ People all around the world live in what they call ‘combined’ families.

    Here it’s called suck sucky suck, and it does, but doesn’t that go along with living with anyone who asks ‘how was your day?’ When you answer suck sucky suck they act like you’re insulting them.

    Great post. This is the sort of attitude that people pull through with. I lost my job the same time my father in law got sick. The choices became pretty plain: move them into my house; move into their house; sell both houses and buy one together.

    What’s the difference between rameen and pad Thai but the name. And we all like that Thai food, right?

    David Gillaspie
    deegeesbb.wordpress.com

    David- Absolutely true! All of your comment! (Well most of it anyway.)

    OOooo, generic ciggies! I remember when I was a kid (we were very poor) my dad used to roll his own. He had this little device where you put the cigarette paper and then you put some tobacco in the groove there and then you pushed this bar to roll it it up all tight and compact-like. I would watch him and think to myself “Damn, we ARE poor!”

    The only place I must disagree with you, David, is on the ramen noodle comment. NO. It is nothing like pad Thai!! NO!! OH God NO!

    😯 😯 😯

    Thanks for taking the time to comment and for the nice words. That means a lot to this poor poor girl…. You’re crazy. I LOVE crazy!

  10. Oh I’d donate if I had the money Trisha. We’ve just hit the end of any disposable income as we’re heading towards Christmas, winter heating bills and a child on the way early next year. And you don’t want me. Adopt me; adopt my debt!

    But things have a way of working out, particularly for good folk, I reckon. In the meantime, do you have wood/coal fire or gas/electric heating? Since we live in a big old cold house, when winter hits, we move nearly everything into one room downstairs and one up. We then use the coal/wood fire down there and sleep in the room above that absorbs the heat.

    Then, of course, there’s always your warm heart…

    SJAT- Of course… my warm heart… It has been described (by my ex) as cold and bitter but I know it is really warm and loving and …
    Anyway, thanks for the kind comments. I know you would help if you could. I am fine so most of this is artistic liscense to exaggerate. I am just like millions of Americans who have lived, worked, scrimped, and saved, AS WE WERE TOLD TO DO, and now find ourselves looking forward to a tough time ahead.
    As for the heat suggestion, yes, I do have a woodstove, but my main heat is an oil fired furnace. I use the woodstove until the temperature drops into the teens daily. My old house (built in the 1840s) loses a LOT of heat even though we’ve insulated most of it over the years. The wood stove simply can’t keep it warm enough to prevent pipes from freezing in rooms beyond the center of the house. Also the thermostat is located directly across from the damn wood stove so it shuts the furnace off! I could have that moved and will eventually. Just too many other bills right now to deal with.
    Thanks, pal! Your comments mean a lot to me!

  11. uhmmm, the best thing to save money is do all the things that you’ve written
    ohhhhhhh my gosh, ive had a long list and i could count how many of those ive done, so so hard, especially when youre young and want everything nice in the world, but since youre mature enough, i think you can do it. good luck, you can doooooo it, and please let me know how you did it \… heheh,

    everything’s well now here in my country, it’s sooooooo hot after the long stormy days. 😦

    be safe
    hugs

    Asian Butterfly- I am certainly “of a certain age” as they say in France. (So much nicer then “old” , don’t you agree?) and I will be fine. I am certain of it. I am just being prudent and intend to be frugal from now on. That’s not to say I am going to defer all my enjoyments! Oh, never! I am just going to stop being wasteful and use my resources more wisely.

    Thanks for your kind words. I am very glad to hear you are well!
    Hugs to you, too!!

    Trisha

  12. NEVER use lights! Use candles instead….hey, it worked for the pioneers! You may want to reuse bath water as well. Think of the money you will save in water!

    Seriously though, I’m sorry to hear about all this. I hope you find a job REAL soon Trisha! Your situation is proof that bad things happen to good people and I wish I could somehow help.

    Gary- Oh, yes! Candles are very flattering to those of us who are mature women… HAHAHA Hell, I am even better looking in total darkness!!!
    And now see, you made me think about taking a bath….. cut it out!! 😉

    Thanks, Gary, for your kind wishes. I’ll be fine. I’ll be FABULOUS!!!!! I’ll be smiling and enjoying life till the day I die! That’s a promise!

  13. Well, if you were close, I would pay you for sexual favors 😉

    Seriously, that’s kind of the problem with living out where it’s pleasant. The job market sucks 😦

    *beaming you good energy*

    Gadfly- If I were near you you wouldn’t have to pay me for sexual favors….. 😈
    But thanks for the sweet and tempting offer!!!

    and for the good energy…. you are terrific!

  14. I have so been where you currently are.
    In recent years we’ve had similar problems, although not these days. We’re both employed in reasonably paid jobs, and lack for little I’ll admit, but I remember well the days you speak of.
    I have no solution, and all I can really say is hang in there.
    All things happen for a reason, and who knows? Maybe you missed out on this one because something better is coming along?
    Like Gadfly, I’m sending positive thoughts {and maybe the odd one that the person they did employ doesn’t work out! 😉 }

    Anonymum- Thanks, girlfriend! I have to believe what you say is true. Experience has taught me that doors open and close for a reason. I just have to be patient. It will happen when it’s supposed to happen.

    I’m glad you’re doing well!! I hope it remains so for you!!!
    This recession things is scary!

  15. While I personally would/will hate to see the dairy go, I can certainly understand. And…I’m with BirdPress. Skip C-Mas! Nice cards will suffice. With CareerMom’s company being sold off, we might be pinching pennies soon ourselves.

    Dobeman- OH NO! CareerMom’s company is being sold??? When is all this supposed to happen??? Life in these United States is getting very very scary.
    😦

  16. How’d I miss this? I don’t know what to say. I hate it that you are feeling down. Seeing as I’m commenting on this so late, there is a very good chance that you are feeling better right at this very moment and that’s what I’m hoping for. BIG HUGS and expensive WINE For you my dear heart!

    Mabel- No sweat, Sweetheart! I am, as a matter of fact, feeling better. I am somewhat reconciled to these things now. It’s not terrible …yet. There are many many ways to make more money even in a bad economy. I am all about the wine, though. Wanna share a bottle with me?

  17. Having a sense of humor will get you through. If you need some ideas on pinching pennies til they scream, go to stretcher.com. It’s my favorite money saving website.

    Auntie- THANKS! I will definitely check out that website!! Much appreciated. And yes, I agree. Having a sense of humor is vital! Thanks again!

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