I met with an attorney yesterday. I feel like I’m cheating. My soon-to-be-ex ( from here on to be referred to as STBE) doesn’t know I am seeing a lawyer about our divorce. He keeps expressing the phrase “we don’t need lawyers taking all our hard earned money over this. We can iron it out ourselves“. (hear his Brooklyn accent)
The thing is, he gave me this ludicrous financial proposal that basically says he gets to keep everything of value except the house, which I then cannot afford to keep because it’s horrificly expensive to maintain, and then if I sell it he gets 10% of the sale price!! Which would pretty much reimburse him for any monies he may have to pay in alimony.
I always thought alimony was for bullshit, slug-ass , money grubbing gold-diggers but I have a whole new appreciation for women who get it.
For thirty years I seriously supported my STBE in every business venture his cackamamie-ness could come up with. He wanted to be a dairy-freakin’-farmer? I learned how to milk cows and do artificial insemination. He wanted to move the cutlery rental business to town? I renovated the new building for him and put in 50 hours a week to get it off the ground while he did deliveries. He wanted to drive to Minneapolis with his 1934 classic car to a fancy car show? I ran things and took care of the kids while he took home trophies for owning an expensive automobile. I also did all the housework and 90% of the yard work. Occasionally, if he wasn’t too busy with his antique car clubs he would sit on the lawn tractor and mow something. I cooked every meal, washed every dish and every bit of laundry , and made sure his daughters got into college without getting pregnant along the way.
I sound bitter. I try not to do that. I was doing pretty well until recently.
I got tired. He got tired. He moved out. He moved in with his girlfriend. They bought a house together.
I want my half. I don’t want to wonder when I am 70-years-old whether I have enough food for the week. I don’t want to have to move in with my daughter to make it through the winter without freezing to death. I want half. No more, no less.
He wants to “give ” me what amounts to a pittance.
My attorney took one look at the financial proposal my STBE handed me and he LAUGHED! I think I love this guy.
It’s so great to have an advocate to say the things I dont have the ovaries to say to said STBE!
trishatruly.wordpress.com 
Howdy,
I haven’t had a chance to check out your videos yet, due to my crappy on the go connection, but I’ve read everything. You write nice, as if listening to you talk, I imagine. I wish my writing came so smoothly. I second guess everything I write, and really don’t have time for that.
I hope everything turns out for the best in regards to the STBE. I’ll be back to check in on you. 😉
Thank you so much, Mr. P. for the kind words.
I do try to write in my own voice but I have to edit out a few choice “mother-f***ers” and “c***-suckers” along the way, especially in regards to the STBE. He done me wrong!
I’ve been reading your terrific stuff for some time now. I don’t always comment but I never miss a day! ( I love Bloglists! )
So nice of you to look in on me. Thanks!
..and still he sends me jokes via e-mail as if he and I are old buds and he’s not trying to screw you over.
It’s uncanny I tell ya!
And don’t forget that if worst came to worst, you have other family. Your seed could just pass you around like an old hanky from one state to the other. It’d be like “Pat-Alooza” and you could tour on the Harley you purchased with your pittance!
I would also like to offer my writing expertise towards your plight. Please confer to your attorney, that “I hereby waive all rights to the following text. Please use as desired towards the castration of all slack-asses in your client’s lives”
“Whereas in light of the fact that the defendant has shown poor taste in both his choice of consorts since leaving my client, and in his insistance of dating another woman with the same name, my client hereby requests that he turn over all property currently in his possession. Furthermore, all property currently NOT officially of record on any local, state or federal deed, should be sold off immediately to the highest bidder, and the proceeds split equally among the defendant and my client.”
And so on and so forth…please feel free to edit as needed.
-Chris
“Pat-aloosa”! I like that! I could be a freakin’ event!!! LOL
I will definitely pass your addendum along to my attorney. I may insist he put that in the final settlement even if it won’t hold up in court…. just because it sounds so darned good!
Glad to get all the help I can get, my boy! Thanks!
I came by via Mr. Parkour’s blog; you have a great site. I’m glad for you that you have someone looking out for your best interests! Good for you. I’ll be having a look around here now. Take care! ~Lumpy
You go, girl! There is no doubt that you have done your share of the “work” and no need for you to get ripped off. I bet he’ll have an interesting look on his face when he finds out about the lawyer.