This post is dedicated to Purplehatter in appreciation for my marvelous new HEADER! He gives great header, doesn’t he?
Hey…psssssst!!! Wanna get hot? I mean realllly hot!
I want you to put on some old, worn-out jeans. Slide a t-shirt over your head. Don’t fuss. You’re gonna take it all off later anyway. You’re gonna get D-I-R-T-Y.
Now go out to the shed in the yard. Yeah, baby, that’s what I’m talking about… the shed.
See that pile of logs over in the corner? Take a BIG one! You know you want that BIG one, don’t you?
Now make it stand up! Use your hands. That’s it! Hard and tall and proud!! You are doing great! Take your time. We have all day, baby. Feel the wood.
Now grab that axe and raise it over your head. I want you to DO IT! Go on. Give that naughty old piece of wood a good whack! It needs a strong hand. It wants to feel the hard edge of your thrust! Bring it!
Do it again! OOOH! Are you hot? YES!!!!
It’s OK to scream. Let it all out! I WANT to hear you scream! Come on!!!
YES! YES! YES! YES! OH! YES!!!!
Now look at your wood. Aren’t you feeling amazingly satisfied??? I see the smile on your face. It was good , wasn’t it??You know you liked it. A lot!
Take a break. We’re gonna do this all day long, baby. Yes. We are. You know it’s gonna hurt tomorrow.
Now put your hands around that wood. Carry a BIG pile into your house. Gently now… put it in .. the wood stove. LIGHT MY FIRE!!! Feel it?? Feel the heat??? Oh, baby, I am SO hot!
*grin* Damn. You are good!
(This is how I amuse myself on those winter mornings when the temperature dips into the teens and my house is cold. My children have reason to worry about the mind of their mother. )