brrrrrrrrrr……..

 

 

 

 

deadbug1

Dead bug position

dead+bug2

REAL DEAD BUG

This morning it was 48 degrees Fahrenheit. I went to bed with a few windows left open and when I awoke I was shivering under my quilt and spread. I am not ready for winter. I still have too much to do!

 

I went to Home Depot today to buy a paint sprayer. I have over 500 feet of three-rail wooden fencing that is in dire need of painting. In the past I had access to a husband who was willing to either

a. have me paint it all summer

b. hire someone else to paint it

c. bribe one of our daughters to do it

or

 d. leave it go till it rotted and fell over.

I, on the other hand, do not have access to his money nor am I willing to paint it with a brush over the course of weeks and weeks. My life is too short to do that! I am old, dammit! And letting it go to rot and fall down is not an option if I am ever hopeful of selling this money-sucking monstrosity of an estate beautiful, classic farmhouse and surrounding acreage.

I was just in the last bit of cursing and kicking at the self check-out due to the fact that I had indeed, despite the damned machine’s insistence that I had not “placed items in the bagging area” when my friends Jay and Pinky showed up. Jay informed me that my idea of using the electric paint sprayer wouldn’t work. I had told him I was willing to use several extension cords rather than pay for a gas-powered sprayer which could cost hundreds of dollars. He tells me this after I check out!

I had spent 20 minutes in the paint department with two lovely male employees who were both willing to help me find exactly the right items. Of course one had no idea where the exterior paint was located so I am pretty sure his advice is fairly unsound. This was the really adorable one with the dreadlocks….in HONESDALE, PA! We don’t normally DO dreadlocks here in Nowheresville, USA but hey! We are becoming quite the trendy hot spot! They tended to my Home Depot needs quite attentively and I left with my new Ryobi paint sprayer. I like Ryobi products! I also like attentive male employees!

Perhaps it had something to do with the fact that I had on extremely tight jeans or maybe it was simply “Be Nice to the Old Ladies Day”. I prefer to think it was the former.

So now here I am with my purchases and Jay, aka Mr. I Know Everything, tells me it will never work. I can only hope to prove him wrong. PLEASE let him be wrong!

I also bought a 2 gallon pump sprayer for insecticide. Ever since I fired my exterminator and started spraying Spectracide Once-and-Done Bug killer around the perimeter of my home I have had far fewer invasions of ants, spiders, and other creepy-crawlies than ever! The fact that my urine glows in the dark is a small price to pay for not having earwigs crawling on toilet seats in the middle of the night, let me tell you!

I leave you with this bit of wisdom today:
 

 

 

“The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 30 years of his life.” —-Muhammed Ali

 

 
 

 

 

keep breathing

woman-and-crows

It seems that many of my friends and I are going through a period of , maybe not quite depression, but a deep feeling of sorrow.

I am not sure what’s going on but I suspect there are lots of reasons. Some of us are having trouble making ends meet.  Some of us are tired of feeling like we’re less than the most important thing in our partner’s life. Some of us want to grow, to learn, to see ourselves in a whole new light and don’t know how to make a change.  Some of us are in pain, real pain, physical pain. Some of us are suffering a loss. And some of us just got thrown a pile of shit.

I feel it, too. I shouldn’t. I’m in the best and healthiest relationship of my life. I feel loved for who I am finally.I have a man in my life whom I adore and who adores me and treats me with the utmost love and respect.  That should count for more than enough to mitigate any negative feelings I have. But it doesn’t.

Some days I wake up and think “oh, ..great.. another day. the same as yesterday…joy..”

Partly the factors I listed above have a part in this negative mood. I lost a shitload  last year in retirement money I had socked away. Every day seems to bring a new financial challenge: a leaky roof, a mechanical problem with the old car,  a new medical ailment, etc. 

 Partly it’s a feeling of frustration over my lack of direction and meaning in my life. For the first time in 55 years I have no  one to wake up for in the morning who needs me in a real sense. No one who wants me to make them a good hot breakfast or who needs me to do a job that only I can do that day. I don’t earn a paycheck anymore. That makes a big difference to me. I see the numbers on a paycheck and I feel like the hours of the past week meant something…or not, if the numbers are too low.

I eat too much , I drink too much, I want to sleep too much when I feel like this. I know it will pass.

That’s what having lived a hard life taught me; life has ever-changing waves of highs and lows. No one is immune.  It’s the way of LIFE. No one promised me a rose garden. I got one though.

If you’ve ever raised roses you know what I mean. Roses are beautiful, to be sure, but they are not easy to grow. They require lots of maintenance: pruning,watering,  feeding, deadheading, mulching, insecticides, and preparations to control mildews. They get eaten by deer, rabbits and other herbivores. They die if the temperatures drop too low. Sometimes they simply die for no known reason!

 But OH! When they bloom! The make your heart SING they are so beautiful! And then we accept compliments and congratulations for this miraculous thing of beauty when we know in our hearts that we are only the caretakers, not the Creator.

 So tomorrow I will see sunshine even through the rain. I know it’s there beyond the clouds.

This song by Ingrid Michaelson pretty well sums up my mood right now.

 

randomness, mental debris, physical exhaustion

 I know, I KNOW! I haven’t posted anything in a week! I am mentally sans muse!     This is the most random bunch of shite I have ever considered posting but hey. …You’re here. You might as well continue reading the post, eh?

  1. Someone pinged me from a Swedish language site and I think I know who she is but regardless I am learning how to use Google Translator and I commented on her post, too, because that’s the kinda gal I am!  How cool is it that someone in Sweden reads my blog!
  2. My amazing, handsome, and brilliant son, Dobeman, made some very nice remarks after spending a long weekend here with his bio-mom. BUT I think I have to do some upgrading on my interior decor. I was already considering a new sofa and a new dining room ensemble but now it is a priority! Have you ever entered the home of someone who has lived in their home for 20 years or more and right away you know the the year the moved in, because nothing has really changed? It’s not retro! It’s just freakin’ old!  If I have to eat Skippy Creamy  PB (’cause meat is so damned expensive!) then so be it! I will have moved into the year 2009 rather than living in 19-frickin’-81 which is what my home screams when you see the decor!
  3. My oldest daughter is 7-months pregnant and being quite nasty to her family. She tries, God knows, but she may just drive us all ’round the bend by the time this little boy is born.
  4. bearcold4Man Colds are deadly and insufferably bad! Ask D’Bear! His is worse than anything I have ever suffered through. They always are. 🙂 To his credit he was absolutely amazing this past weekend. He came all the way down to my house after work on Friday, a drive of over three hours to spend some time with my family and me. He had never met my son, Dobeman, and I was dying for them toget to know each other. I see so many similarities between them.  Both work in the computer field, (tech writer, marketing, PR, for Dobeman..software engineering for D’Bear), both are Conservatives, both are cautious and frugal with their money, both have a wicked sense of humor and a love of wine and music and literature.  Unfortunately poor Dobeman came down with a bad sinus infection and a head cold just before his trip here and THEN D’Bear comes down with his nasty bug as soon as he gets home on Monday!
  5. What the HELL is going on with the male bloggers here on WordPress??? Both my darling bad-boy Evyl and my sweet-but-nasty Spidey have been noticeably absent of late. I am a little concerned about that!
  6. I have to have another colonoscopy. Yeah, I know…TMI! But seriously! Two years ago I had a couple of nasty, pre-cancerous polyps removed so I have to do this scope-up-the-ass thing every two years!  The only good thing about it that after 24 hours of fasting and laxatives, I lose between 6-8 pounds and I feel PRETTY !! (Of course I am light-headed and starving but other than that… mah-velous!)
  7. steak_bjIf you missed Saturday’s amazing Holiday then make it a point to write down the date for next year. March 14th is the MAN VALENTINE’S DAY! Yes, you heard me. It was Steak & a Blow Job Day. HA!! D’Bear got two steaks this past weekend but with so much family in the house, he will have to take a rain-check on the rest of the Holiday’s promise!! HAHAHA!!! I hope your man got his!!
  8. Spring is on its way! YAY!!! I went outside without a heavy jacket today and I did not die of frostbite and hypothermia!!!!!! Soon here in Northeast PA we’ll be hearing this:
  9.  .  I’m making Beef Curry, Basmati Rice, Cucumber Lime Salad, and … I’m lost as to what else to feature on the menu for our Saturday dinner with the NY neighbors.  There are three couples, one on each side of the lovely D’Bear and then of course, us. All last summer we spent hours and hours on each others’ porches in the evenings, drinking wine, and sharing good food that we all contributed to the cause. When the cold of winter forced us inside we decided to start a sort of Supper Club. One  of us hosts a dinner each month.  This month is our turn and since I’ve served this recipe for Beef Curry several times to accolades I feel it will go over equally well with this group.ly I’ll have condiments like chopped peanuts, raisins or currants, shredded coconut, etc. but I am at a loss as to what else to make to round out the menu. I need one more thing as a side and a dessert. Any ideas?
  10. Yesterday I watched the Martha Stewart Show and guess what!! She’s getting fat!  She had Marcia Cross from Desperate Housewives on and Martha looked HUGE next to her!  Yes, Ms. Martha of the “I am a former model and I am so much richer than you!” fame. Yep, she and Oprah have packed on some poundage! If Oprah tries to tell me ONE MORE TIME how to lose weight I’m gonna take a gun to my TV!  How can she preach to millions of women (and she does!) and not see the irony?       OK, that sounds mean , but Boo-fucking-Hoo.

 OK, that’s today’s scintillating post, y’all. Thanks for making it to the bottom of the page. Comments are not only welcome but incredibly appreciated!! 

Day 2 with my Buddies

This time change messed with my head. I woke up at 7:45! Normally I am awake without an alarm clock between 6:30 -7:00!

The Buddies, Nibble, Posey, and Lulu were waiting patiently for me to lift my head up and then they pounced! I was bounced upon and patted and giggled at! I’m not used to that! I liked it!

We had a leisurely breakfast, toast and coffee for me, grains and veggies for the Buddies. After primping and brushing we all piled into my little Subaru and headed into town.

 Lulu and Posey almost wet themselves when they saw this truck in front of us with one of the baling wires loose. The hay was blowing all over my car and the two of them were hootin’ and hollerin’!

Grade A Prime for Horsies and Heifers!

Grade A Prime for Horsies and Heifers!

I had to run to WallyWorld for some things so they stayed in the car. My purse was too small for them all to fit in so they agreed to sit quietly while I shopped. When I came back out, they had a guilty look on their faces and I knew they had been up to no good. I still don’t know what they did. Maybe over the course of time they’ll tell someone.

We stopped at the waterfall along Rt. 6 for a closer look. They thought the water was pretty but I had to warn them not to get too close.p31106241

 

Next was a drive along Church Street where Nibble thought this furniture store had an interesting feature: a giant chair on the roof!
Giant's Chair

Giant's Chair

This is our town square with a view of the Courthouse.
Home of The Roots & Rythm Festival

Home of The Roots & Rythm Festival

Posey says she’d like to live in this house!
Historic Home

Historic Home

Then we stopped to admire the Library at Seven Maples.
Seven Maples

Seven Maples

On the drive home we also passed the Bethany Library, another Historic Landmark, having been the City Hall Building when Bethany was the county seat back in the 18oo’s.
Bethany Library

Bethany Library

We were all tired when we got home so the girls decided to take a bubble bath. p3110633
Pretty Pretty Pony!

Pretty Pretty Pony!

Then they had to check out the jewelry box!p3110638
Meanwhile Mr. Nibble was left to his own devices and I came down and found him wrestling with Al Ligator! I thought he was a goner for a minute-
Oh, NO! What will Joan say????

Oh, NO! What will Joan say????

But luckily Mr. Nibble won that round and they shook hands and are now good friends!
And the Feather-Weight Champion IS...Mr. Nibble!

And the Feather-Weight Champion IS...Mr. Nibble!

Posey wanted some music on so I turned up the volume and they all started dancing. Posey has some mad break dancing moves! Her Buddy Nikki told me but I had to see this with my own eyes!
Posey on the dancefloor

Posey on the dancefloor

Posey enjoying a local merlot

Posey enjoying a local merlot

Lulu and Nibble had themselves a laugh!

Lulu and Nibble had themselves a laugh!

Nibble danced a little too close to Lulu. Break it up!

Nibble danced a little too close to Lulu. Break it up!

Before we knew it the evening was over.
I had a great time with these three! I can’t wait to see what the next batch of visitors brings!!
Me and my new friends

Me and my new friends

Day 1 with The Buddies!

Well, I arrived home from Rochester to find three wonderful new friends there waiting for me! I barely had time to unpack the car and turn the heat up before these little cuties started having some fun!

While I made lunch they found my grandson’s toybox and they started burning off some of that pent up energy they must have had after traveling so far.

Wheeeeeee!!!!

Wheeeeeee!!!!

Lulu LOVED the motorcycle! What a hot little biker babe she is!!
Lulu the Biker Heifer

Lulu the Biker Heifer

Then Nibble wanted a turn on the motorcycle and started chasing Posey so I had to put a stop to the rowdiness before somebody got hurt.
VROOM! VROOM!!VROOM!!!!!

VROOM! VROOM!!VROOM!!!!!

I did manage to calm them down after that . I put out a simple salad of grass and carrots and fresh juice but they vetoed the juice for something stronger. I gave in, thinking it might make for a wee bit quieter afternoon since I had lots of unpacking to do!

Nom Nom Nom !

Nom Nom Nom !

Nibble was verry thirsty!

Nibble was verry thirsty!

Posey luvs drinky-poo. Lulu..not so much.

Posey luvs drinky-poo. Lulu..not so much.

 D’Bear and I had a busy weekend before I returned home. We took a tour around Seneca Lake and stopped at some of the great wineries there. D’Bear made friends wherever we went! It seems that wineries and kitties go together!

D'Bear and Friend

D'Bear and Friend

Friend #2 & D'Bear

Friend #2 & D'Bear

 I had a wonderful time but somebody can’t capture the “whole” me on film. I must be too much woman!

Half of Trisha.. better than none!

Half of Trisha.. better than none!

The views were magnificent even though it was bloody COLD!

Seneca Lake, NY 2009

Seneca Lake, NY 2009

Dream home on the lake

Dream home on the lake

After throwing the laundry in the dryer and showing the Buddies where everything was, we settled in for some girl talk. Dinner was a cozy affair, sitting by the fireplace.

L-R.. Nibble, Lulu & Posey

L-R.. Nibble, Lulu & Posey

p3100617

Lulu, fading fast

Lulu, fading fast

They were all pretty tuckered and went quietly to bed after I promised them I would take them into town with me tomorrow. We’re only running in to do some errands but I will show them the sites and let them meet some of my friends!

 They asked me to say “Good night” to their Mommies, JavaQueen, Joan, and Nikki, so ladies, rest easy. Your girls are all tucked in for the night, safe and sound.

Sweet Dreams, little Buddies!

Sweet Dreams, little Buddies!

You know you have cabin fever when…….

you agree to “host” a round of crazy, misbehaving, pugnacious, sassy stuffed animals with names like Bongo, Nibbles, and Super Pickle! Each person on the list gets a visit from these fluffy visitors (and sends one of their own)  and gets a chance to show them a good time, introduce them to their friends, take them sightseeing, etc., while making a photographic document of the event! We then post the fun on our blogs!

Javajunkee came up with this insane- in- the -membrane idea and guess what! I’m so lovin’ it!

Yesterday afternoon my little YooHoo was sent all the way across the country right down the road to visit with 2LazyDogs !  YooHoo is a pink-tailed lemur who likes candlelight, walks in the park and fine wine. I hope Shari knows that she also loves to PAR-TAY!! If she’s not careful, little YooHoo just might hook up with the first handsome guy she meets and end up staying out all night.

yoohoo

This is YooHoo.

She’s a sassy girl with the look of innocence. Don’t let those big eyes and coy smile fool you. She’s a BAD GIRL!

And she likes to tease dogs, so I HOPE she doesn’t cause too much trouble while she’s visiting  her first hostess!

Have fun, YooHoo and BEHAVE!


woe is me…..

   screwme Well, the day arrived. I placed a claim with my home-owner’s insurance. The company I deal with is..well, it rhymes with StationWide. The name should be “Bend Over. This is Gonna Hurt!”  They sent an adjuster out this morning. His name was Richard but he looked like a Dick before the morning was through.dick1

   I got up early, put on coffee in case he wanted some, tidied the house, especially the areas I knew he would by looking at. I showered and fluffed. I smiled. I was pleasant. I figured that being nice to the man who will cut me a check for the damages is just smart business sense. 

    I now know why they call them “adjusters”. He surely adjusted the numbers! My contractor placed an estimate of the repairs at $6, 140.  That was to repair the damage and install cables on the roof to prevent  further damage.  According to the adjuster man, cables will not be covered. I showed him the stained, damp mattress and box spring which will most likely have to be replaced. That’s not covered. 

    After I showed him  all the water damage, he took pictures and measured the rooms with his manly tape measure (men do seem to love them some tape measures. I don’t know why!) then said he was going out to his truck to do the figures.

    Man-Oh-Man! They must have equipped that truck really well! He came in after a half an hour with about 6 pages of personalized printed pages explaining the company’s policies regarding payment and how they arrive at the numbers. He also had printed out a check…for $1,995.00. He couldn’t even f*cking round it up to $2000. ! I have a $1000. deductible so basically they shorted me around $5000. if you count the things that weren’t included in the contractor’s estimate, like carpet cleaning, new mattress/box spring, etc!

   When he gave me the check I’m sure I looked weird as I stood there with my mouth open , staring at the piece of paper. WTF?!?!

    In my life I’ve only ever made one other insurance claim on my home-owner’s policy and that was 24 years ago for the time lightning hit my home and blew out a few appliances!

   I wish now I’d had the balls to look him in the eye and say “F*ck you and your company, too! Do you sleep well at night ? Does this really seem fair to you, you miserable c*cksucker?”    I realize I could call and maybe have this thing drag out, trying to make a larger claim but I just don’t have the energy. They win.

    I hate to always be complaining but this has been a pretty sucky period for me financially. I just heard from the logger who was so eager to cut trees down on the property. He said there isn’t enough good timber to make it worth his time. So there goes another money-making opportunity down the drain. I was so looking forward to a nice fat check from him! Evidently there hasn’t been enough growth since the place was logged out 27 years ago!

   I am looking forward to eating lots more beans than meat in the near future if things continue the way they’ve been going. That’s all right. I hear a vegetarian diet is healthier anyway.

I Know It’s Winter But…

dirty_sexy_money-logo

Last week’s episodes of frozen pipes and fingers that never got really warm have me thinking of a trip to San Juan or the Bahamas or anywhere where there’s a beach and the temperature is 80 degrees or above. (Pool boys optional but desired.)

God, why didn’t you make me rich? I would not have been rotten about it. I would have shared like a good girl. I simply think that someone, like myself, who always  mostly played by the rules her whole life deserves a little sumpum-sumpum, ya know what I mean?

I’d like a few days spent to own  a cabin on a secluded beach, a kick-ass stereo system, stacks of great books on built-in bookshelves lining a woodburning fireplace, a fridge filled with triple creme brie and caviar (I prefer osetra over beluga, thank you very much), and a cellar filled with incredible wines. I want a native villager to bring me fresh fruits, crisp green veggies and the occasional just-killed free-range chicken ready for the grill weekly. I want no telephones except a direct line to my children and D’Bear (who will be able to stop working and come live with me on the beach…part time).

And all the shoes my heart desires…….shoes

 That’s not much to ask, is it?

If not that, God, could you simply make my oil bill read “payment due $1.25” ???

I Only Wanted Some Coffee

coffee

This morning I got up to make coffee, turned on the water in the kitchen sink and ..nuthin’.  Ahh, the pipes are frozen…again. This happens every winter.frozenpipe

I trudge down the cellar stairs, plug in the old blow dryer and stand there, pointing the warm blast of air up onto the frosty plumbing. I left the faucet on so I can hear when the pipes thaw and sure enough, in a few minutes, I hear that blessed sound…running water. It’s just the way we do things here at the old farmstead.

 Funny the things I’ve gotten used to living here. Like never flushing anything other than poo and pee and single ply TP down the toilet. When one lives with a septic system, one learns that wipeys and tampons, and other normal potty detritus is forbidden from the flush. I learned not to clean the toilet with Clorox since chlorine bleach kills bacteria; not something you want to do to an aerobic system.

I’ve learned to live with drafts in the winter and overheated upstairs bedrooms in the summer. I simply turn on fans and lower shades when summer’s heat makes sleeping hard.

I’ve learned that one doesn’t run the water for more than an hour or so at a time lest the pump overheat or the well starts to pull mud up from deep below ground .

 I live with cluster flies in spring and fall, as well as Asian Beetles aka LadyBugs by the thousands! I am used to the cardinals beating themselves bloody every spring when the attack my sunroom windows. They think their reflection is another bird invading their territory.

 I’m used to deer eating every rosebud from my bushes and every rhododendrun bud as well. My hostas get attacked by marauding woodchucks and rabbits nest under the spreading yews, waiting to chomp down every edible green thing they can find.

 I live with a loaded .22 at the back door. Any woodchuck or rabbit caught near my vegetable garden is fair game. I don’t care what they do on the other 68 acres of mine but these 2 acres of backyard are mine to protect from hungry packs of herbivores! And I’m a damn good shot! The crows and turkey buzzards love me when I throw a dead rabbit out into the field for them to consume. It makes my daughters upset to think that their mother can so cavalierly kill an animal. I can. I grew up in the country when pragmatic decisions like that are made every day.

 So frozen pipes, while annoying as hell, don’t really faze me at all. It’s part of life “on the farm”.

 Just let me have my coffee first. Please.cuppa

Uninvited Critters

My sweet woodstove

My sweet woodstove

My wood stove is getting a good workout for the first time in many years.

Like so many young homeowners in the late 1970’s we purchased a wood stove for our country house and me, the young wifey was responsible for the care and maintenance of said appliance. I stacked, toted, and occasionally split the lengths of firewood and was in charge of making sure the fire was up and roaring early in the morning to take the night’s chill out of the house. I cleaned the ashes out daily and disposed of them in the garden to boost the soil for the vegetable garden I planted each year.

Needless to say this wore thin once the price of wood continued to creep up and the cost of heating oil came down. The wood stove sat, unused for almost 15 years. Until this winter.

Divorce is nothing if not a creator of realities. Where before I had the steady income of my own business and that of a husband, I am now dealing with divorce settlements which, If I am very frugal might last me till I am dead. Perhaps not in a falling economy and the fear of living on tea and kitty kibble made me learn to economize in surprisingly creative ways.

 I lit the wood stove about a month ago for the first time in years and suddenly I felt that intense radiant warmth from it that I had long forgotten. Sitting by it on a cold day when the wind has sucked the warmth from my fingers and toes and no wooly cardigan is sufficient to take away the shivers in my body I settle down with a sigh of contentment.my pile o' wood

 I didn’t even mind the woodpile and the carrying of logs to the log ring on the porch outside the front door. I gathered fallen branches from around the edges of the fence line and stacked them for kindling in a basket by the door. The smell of woodsmoke is like perfume to me.

But what I do mind are the uninvited critters that make their homes in the woodshed and even on the logs themselves! I was restacking some wood which had fallen from the woodpile last week when I decided to neaten up the woodshed. I picked up a tarp that I had place over the potting table and as I lifted it the the tiny clay pots stacked so neatly  came alive ! Mice, dozens of them began pouring out of the flower pots! A veritable fountain of mice erupted, jumping and running and flinging themselves off the table in search of cover! I shrieked! My skin crawled! I ran, flinging the tarp as I gasped in horror at the scene!36_mice_wide1

I can handle snakes. I grew up in Florida where snakes are just part and parcel of the landscape. But there are two things that skeeve me the fuck out and that’s mice, well rodents in general, and spiders! The other thing about burning wood is the fact that spiders live under the bark of the wood so that bringing wood into your house also brings those disgusting creatures into your house! I have seen them creep out, those loathsome black wood spiders, then run under the baseboard where they wait for the can of Raid I haul out to kill their asses!  I feel horror in imagining them crawling out and setting up house in MY house!

wolf_spider_lrg

Florida Wolf Spider

 When I was a little girl living in a Cracker house in Central Florida I used to sit on the toilet in our house and watch as these giant wolf spiders spin webs in the corner of the bathroom. They were as big as a small child’s hand, these loathsome creatures and that’s where I learned my fear of spiders. My mother wouldn’t kill them because they ate the cockroaches!  Ah, my childhood. What a time that was. Imagine having to do your business in a room where no sane person would venture, your little legs dangling there while you pray for a fast poop so you can get the FUCK OUT!

 I have since returned to the woodpile but I carry a long stick with which I pound the woodpile to send the critters  a warning before I pick up the first piece of wood. So far, so good.