where you been???


It seems that more and more these days my wordpress friends and I have let blogs lapse in favor of less cerebral activities. I know I barely have time to work on my Farm Town farm what with all the hiring and cultivating and planting and upgrading! It takes time!

I did not know that I was such a Farm Town Hoe until last weekend when I turned to my sweet D’Bear with such a look of alarm and said “Oh, shit! I bet my crops have gone to hell on Farm Town!” This was said in the middle of our annual garage sale. I had been so involved with setting up the sale, getting the house ready for guests (4th of July weekend visitors), and actually running the sale that I had no time to even look at my poor old (but beautiful) virtual farm.

Luckily no crops withered because I am a smart Farm Town Hoe! I planted crops that need three days or more to ripen for harvest!! Yippee!!

 So what have I been doing in the meantime besides playing stupid FaceBook games and running around my house gathering every unnecessary knick knack to throw on the garage sale tables?

 Well, I spent a crazy weekend in Rochester with my honey D’Bear where we went to the Taste of Rochester Festival and ate and drank ourselves into a stupor while dancing in the street to some good free bands! That was fun!

We also took a long Sunday drive around Seneca Lake and enjoyed some great Fingerlakes wines at the wineries.  I bought some wines at Damiani Vineyards, Shaw Vineyard, and a few others I have very little recollection of after Rasta Ranch Vineyards where the hippie-dippie ambiance just forces you to buy wines like Piece of My Heart and Uncle Homer’s Red.

Rasta Ranch's fine wine!

Rasta Ranch's fine wine!

I have been enjoying spending time with my new grandson, Ryan. He is almost 2 months old now and oh my gosh! He just smiles and coos and burbles in the most sweet and adorable way! What a good baby he is! Lucky for his mother (my daughter) he is nothing like his older brother in temperament! That fiery three-year-old can make a person tired just watching him!

 Other than that, let’s see, … OH! D’Bear and I will be celebrating our 2-year anniversary on the 13th of July! We met on July 13, 2007 after meeting on a dating site! We’ve been together ever since.

Overlooking Lake Placid, NY

Overlooking Lake Placid, NY

I think we may be heading over to the Adirondacks, Lake Placid specifically, for a romantic weekend of hiking, shopping, dining, drinking wine, and …..well, never mind! Some things are better left to the imagination.

Let’s just say….

It was a crazzzzy weekend, last weekend.

My BFF’s youngest daughter got married. She (the BFF) is originally from Norway. Oodles of Norveeejuns vas ober here for dis vedding, ya! OOf Dah!. The groom’s family is from Turkey. They came. They saw Americans. They’ll never be the same.

 They combined many of the rituals and customs of both nationalities in this four-day-wedding-extravaganza! Evidently drinking and dancing are universally recognized as the way to start off a marriage. ( I happen to know it helps the rest of the time, too!)

On Thursday there was a ceremony for the women where henna is applied to one palm  of each lady to assure luck. I got a big blob of it in my right hand. A piece of gauze was placed over that and tied in the back of my hand. I was told to leave it for 20 minutes then wash it off.

Platter of Turkish wedding henna and accoutrements

Platter of Turkish wedding henna and accoutrements

The bride has henna applied to both hands, then a lacy bag is tied over her hands while the henna does its dying magic, leaving the bride-to-be with stinky orange palms.

Bride-to-be before henna

Bride-to-be before henna

Supposedly it signifies purification of some sort. All I know is it doesn’t come off for a couple of weeks and it kinda smells like sour cooked spinach.

Then there were the belly dancers who tried to teach us how to shake that groove thang.


I tried it. I think I am missing some extra hinge-y  thing in my hips  that lets her do this!

The next morning I woke up, went to the bathroom, did my business, wiped and then saw that brownish-orange blotch and thought I’d shit on my own hand! It took me a minute to realize that it was indeed the henna and not me being nasty. Well, we drank some the night before…

 Friday evening was more dancing, more drinking. Then some more eating, drinking, and then more dancing.   One lady snuck a grab of D’Bear’s ass while he was on the dance floor!  It pretty much made his whole weekend! LOL

Saturday, Wedding Day, turned out sunny and beautiful. The bride was radiant, the groom marvelously handsome, the ceremony poignant and heartfelt. Then there was more dancing. LOTS of dancing! Drinking and dancing and dancing and drinking! A good time was had by all…. I think. I know I had fun!

 Sunday I paid the piper (f*cking piper!). D’Bear and I mowed fields for six hours in the hot sun.  It’s amazing what a few Excedrin, a pot of strong coffee, and a tractor rumbling under you can do!

Not a DAMNED THING!  I still felt like hell!

Day 2 with my Buddies

This time change messed with my head. I woke up at 7:45! Normally I am awake without an alarm clock between 6:30 -7:00!

The Buddies, Nibble, Posey, and Lulu were waiting patiently for me to lift my head up and then they pounced! I was bounced upon and patted and giggled at! I’m not used to that! I liked it!

We had a leisurely breakfast, toast and coffee for me, grains and veggies for the Buddies. After primping and brushing we all piled into my little Subaru and headed into town.

 Lulu and Posey almost wet themselves when they saw this truck in front of us with one of the baling wires loose. The hay was blowing all over my car and the two of them were hootin’ and hollerin’!

Grade A Prime for Horsies and Heifers!

Grade A Prime for Horsies and Heifers!

I had to run to WallyWorld for some things so they stayed in the car. My purse was too small for them all to fit in so they agreed to sit quietly while I shopped. When I came back out, they had a guilty look on their faces and I knew they had been up to no good. I still don’t know what they did. Maybe over the course of time they’ll tell someone.

We stopped at the waterfall along Rt. 6 for a closer look. They thought the water was pretty but I had to warn them not to get too close.p31106241


Next was a drive along Church Street where Nibble thought this furniture store had an interesting feature: a giant chair on the roof!
Giant's Chair

Giant's Chair

This is our town square with a view of the Courthouse.
Home of The Roots & Rythm Festival

Home of The Roots & Rythm Festival

Posey says she’d like to live in this house!
Historic Home

Historic Home

Then we stopped to admire the Library at Seven Maples.
Seven Maples

Seven Maples

On the drive home we also passed the Bethany Library, another Historic Landmark, having been the City Hall Building when Bethany was the county seat back in the 18oo’s.
Bethany Library

Bethany Library

We were all tired when we got home so the girls decided to take a bubble bath. p3110633
Pretty Pretty Pony!

Pretty Pretty Pony!

Then they had to check out the jewelry box!p3110638
Meanwhile Mr. Nibble was left to his own devices and I came down and found him wrestling with Al Ligator! I thought he was a goner for a minute-
Oh, NO! What will Joan say????

Oh, NO! What will Joan say????

But luckily Mr. Nibble won that round and they shook hands and are now good friends!
And the Feather-Weight Champion IS...Mr. Nibble!

And the Feather-Weight Champion IS...Mr. Nibble!

Posey wanted some music on so I turned up the volume and they all started dancing. Posey has some mad break dancing moves! Her Buddy Nikki told me but I had to see this with my own eyes!
Posey on the dancefloor

Posey on the dancefloor

Posey enjoying a local merlot

Posey enjoying a local merlot

Lulu and Nibble had themselves a laugh!

Lulu and Nibble had themselves a laugh!

Nibble danced a little too close to Lulu. Break it up!

Nibble danced a little too close to Lulu. Break it up!

Before we knew it the evening was over.
I had a great time with these three! I can’t wait to see what the next batch of visitors brings!!
Me and my new friends

Me and my new friends

You know you have cabin fever when…….

you agree to “host” a round of crazy, misbehaving, pugnacious, sassy stuffed animals with names like Bongo, Nibbles, and Super Pickle! Each person on the list gets a visit from these fluffy visitors (and sends one of their own)  and gets a chance to show them a good time, introduce them to their friends, take them sightseeing, etc., while making a photographic document of the event! We then post the fun on our blogs!

Javajunkee came up with this insane- in- the -membrane idea and guess what! I’m so lovin’ it!

Yesterday afternoon my little YooHoo was sent all the way across the country right down the road to visit with 2LazyDogs !  YooHoo is a pink-tailed lemur who likes candlelight, walks in the park and fine wine. I hope Shari knows that she also loves to PAR-TAY!! If she’s not careful, little YooHoo just might hook up with the first handsome guy she meets and end up staying out all night.


This is YooHoo.

She’s a sassy girl with the look of innocence. Don’t let those big eyes and coy smile fool you. She’s a BAD GIRL!

And she likes to tease dogs, so I HOPE she doesn’t cause too much trouble while she’s visiting  her first hostess!

Have fun, YooHoo and BEHAVE!

I Know It’s Winter But…


Last week’s episodes of frozen pipes and fingers that never got really warm have me thinking of a trip to San Juan or the Bahamas or anywhere where there’s a beach and the temperature is 80 degrees or above. (Pool boys optional but desired.)

God, why didn’t you make me rich? I would not have been rotten about it. I would have shared like a good girl. I simply think that someone, like myself, who always  mostly played by the rules her whole life deserves a little sumpum-sumpum, ya know what I mean?

I’d like a few days spent to own  a cabin on a secluded beach, a kick-ass stereo system, stacks of great books on built-in bookshelves lining a woodburning fireplace, a fridge filled with triple creme brie and caviar (I prefer osetra over beluga, thank you very much), and a cellar filled with incredible wines. I want a native villager to bring me fresh fruits, crisp green veggies and the occasional just-killed free-range chicken ready for the grill weekly. I want no telephones except a direct line to my children and D’Bear (who will be able to stop working and come live with me on the beach…part time).

And all the shoes my heart desires…….shoes

 That’s not much to ask, is it?

If not that, God, could you simply make my oil bill read “payment due $1.25” ???

Giving Thanks



Things I am grateful for:

  1. My beautiful, intelligent children, all of whom make me so proud to be a mom.
  2. My D’Bear. He IS the love of my life. Who knew I would find that so late in life? I am unbearably awed by it!
  3. Trees. I love trees!
  4. Grandchildren! Three grandsons and one (unknown gender) on the way!!
  5. Fuzzy slippers
  6. My home. I could so easily have walked away from it in the divorce settlement but I didn’t and now I’m glad I held out.
  7. Friends. They are like the blood in my veins. I could never have survived in this world without them.
  8. Starry nights in Pennsylvania. They’re glorious!
  9. Books and the people who write them. Thank you, Authors! You helped me escape many a horror in my life. I am eternally grateful.
  10. My Subaru. 92,000 miles and zipping me along the highways with ease. I love her!
  11. Coffee. Was there ever a time when I didn’t reach for it first thing in the morning? Ahhh, that first hot sip of nectar!..
  12. My country. I wonder how I got so lucky as to have been born when I was into a country that tries so hard to be the kind of place where people can be enjoy freedom and democracy..
  13. Birds. They make me happy.
  14. My body. So far, so good. I am healthy and have the use and function of all my parts. For that I am grateful! (Some parts better than others, but hey..{shrug})
  15. Hot showers!
  16. Ibuprofen
  17. Wine, that glorious concoction that is food and drink all rolled into one.
  18. Buttered toast
  19. Down comforters
  20. Ludovico Einaudi  and his beautiful music.
  21. The Internet. How would I have met all these amazing people without it? I still am amazed that I can know incredible people all over the world and never leave home.  There is so much beauty, talent, creativity, and caring out there in the voices of my dear Internet friends. Hey, it’s how I met my D’Bear!
  22. Fleece
  23. Kitties, puppies, bunnies, all the widdle baby animals. I have an antidote for the Blues: find a litter of puppies and sit on the floor with them for fifteen minutes. It takes all your cares away to be pawed, licked, snuggled, and sniffed by several warm, sweet pups! Guaranteed!
  24. Clean water
  25. Good food. Gawd! I love to eat! And luckily I am a fair cook!
  26. Bread. It deserves its own category! I could happily live on nothing but good bread ( well, with some butter or olive oil thrown in for good measure.)
  27. My new-found sense of “c’est la vie”. I am learning to let go…..to go with the flow…to sit back and enjoy the ride. It’s so refreshing! I always tried to control everything until recently when I finally realized I couldn’t!
  28. Free time, daydreaming, doing nothing’! I just learned how to do it! Not well, but I’m working on it and I like it! This kinda ties in with number 27.
  29. The teachers who drilled me till I learned to count and multiply and divide until I could do it in my head. Bless them.
  30. My faith that there is more to life than what I see and feel here on this earth and that one day my eyes will see beyond all this to the very heart of everything.


Happy Thanksgiving Day to all of you and may your blessings be many!



Wouldn’t Ya Like To Be a F*cktard, Too ?

fucktardI am seeing that wine can  sometimes bring out the fucktard in people. I am only praying I am not one of them, but then if I drink enough of the stuff, will I know, or even care?

Cases in point:

Friday night a local wine shop hosted a free wine tasting. They offered some lovely pinot noirs, a couple of chenin blancs, and I think, a shiraz. The time for the free tasting was listed as 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.

As D’Bear and I, and a couple of our friends bellied up to the tasting table we heard the pourer say she was all out of the pinots since the tasting was almost over. It was 6:50.  A very tall, Eddie Bauer-ish man protested by saying, “what do you mean? It most certainly is NOT!” in a very obnoxious manner.

The pourer, a tall, lovely woman who represented the wine distributor, not the retail store directly said “The tasting is over at 7:00.”

Mr. Snotty Pants pulled himself up even taller and said, “It is NOT over till 8:00 according to your advert and anyway I wanted some of that pinot you promised!” , in a petulant voice.  (yes, he actually said “advert”) Fucktard!

Evidently there had been a typo and the store hadn’t realized it was supposed to go on till 8:00 and they had not stocked enough wine for the tasting to go on that long. There were probably about 20 people in the shop at that time who did not get a taste of the pinots but they all had the good grace to accept that the FREE wine was gone and tough noogies! The store offered a few unadvertised wines for the tasting in place of the ones that had run out.

This man continued to make an ass of himself by arguing with the poor woman.     We all just moved away……lest we be thought to be acquaintances of his, God forbid! Thankfully we were not!

Not one of us could imagine berating the store for running out of FREE WINE! Well, except for the fucktard.

The next night one of the neighbors with whom D’Bear and I are close friends hosted a dinner party for us and one other couple on the block. The other couple is nice enough. Just quirky and sometimes clueless.

The hosts provided the dinner while D’Bear was gracious enough to have offered to provide some wine for the meal. He brought two bottles for the six of us. Actually it was for five of us since our host himself does not drink wine, only beer. When the meal came to it’s delightful end we all began to clear the table and head for the living room. The other invited guest, Mr. Quirky (I’m being nice here ) said “Hey, is there more wine? My glass is empty!”

He and his bride brought nothing to the party. Not a bottle of wine, nor a bunch of flowers or even a crumb of food, which, while it’s ok, is not something I’m comfortable doing.  Our sweet hostess found an open bottle of wine in the refrigerator and graciously offered it to him and he proceeded to fill his own glass to the rim, leaving approximately 2 ounces of wine in the bottle. Fucktard!!

He and his wife will be hosting our next round of dinners at their home. My moral dilemma is this: do we bring wine to their dinner party? I say “NO!”  Let him figure it out when we ask him for a glass of wine and he looks around to see what was brought for the night. My inner Southern Belle says “why of course, honey ( we Southern Belles say ‘Honey” a lot). You must bring something for the hosts! They will expect wine!”

My other Southern Belle (the bitchy one) says “Oh, hells bells, bring them young’uns some peanuts in a can instead! They’re on sale at the dollar store!”

I’m leaning towards the latter.fucktard2

Change Is Good

A recent comment from Dobeman made me start wandering about the way others have seen me this past year or so.

As some of you may know, I am waiting for the final divorce papers to come through any day now.  It’s been three and a half years since my ex walked out my  door and into his girlfriend’s. I grieved and ranted and stopped functioning for over a year and then I decided that that was bullshit and decided to live again.

 I never expected to meet someone so easily. D’Bear and I met July 13th of last year and we’ve been a “couple” ever since. He lives three and a half hours away from me. We each own our own homes. We aren’t planning on changing anything major ’cause this arrangement suits us. We’re two peas in a pod. We are silly and loving and living a life I only dreamed was possible.

 What is it about me that has changed these past few years? Hmmm… let’s see.

  1. I no longer refer to myself as “Pat”, the name I got stuck with when I moved north of the Mason/Dixon Line in 1974. (Previous to that I was known as “Patty”. Gag me.) Now since the ex’s girlfriend is also named “Pat” I use “Trisha” since Patricia is a little too formal for me. I’m not a formal kinda gal.
  2. I have learned that I am once again still a sexual human being! Yeehaw! Sex is fun!! You just need the right partner!! Who knew?
  3. I no longer have someone to nag and/or bully into doing things around here. It never worked anyway and it only served to piss me off. Now when the garbage needs to be taken out or the fields need to be mowed or the car needs to be serviced I simply take care of it. I always did anyway. Now I just skip the first step!
  4. I am no longer afraid to go to the toilet in the middle of the night to find myself sitting in the toilet water getting my ass wet because the fucktard I was married to couldn’t be bothered to put the seat down in THIRTY FUCKING YEARS!
  5. I eat healthy foods now ( most of the time) rather than the crap the ex wanted on a regular basis. Thanks to this my cholesterol has gone down over 40 points!
  6. I have purple stripes in my hair!
  7. I dress better. This is because I am with someone who gives a shit! Before I could have worn the sexiest thing on the racks and the ex would never have noticed… or cared. If you aren’t a classic car or a meatball sub you don’t get much attention from him.
  8. I’ve learned a lot about wine. D’Bear is a wine connoisseur and I am building a kick-ass wine cellar now! I love it!
  9. I’ve learned that I can live very cheaply and still be happy. Good thing since my money options have gone to the dogs. I sold my business two years before my marriage went totally to shit and haven’t been able to regain the financial stability I once had. C’est la vie!
  10. I can love again. It’s great! I learned that I am NOT unlovable or so flawed that no one can love me.  D’Bear loves me!

So , yeah, I’ve changed. My ex used to tell me “You’re not the girl I married! You’ve changed!” Well, DUH!! I grew UP! I matured! I evolved!

 Him? Not so much.

Off to Ro-cha-cha

I’m headed to Rochester tomorrow to see my honey. It’s been over ten days since I’ve seen him and I need my Bear! The three and a half hour drive is so easy now. I know where the State Police lurk, where the best rest stops are and if I get a craving for a milkshake I know the exit that I need to get me one!

It’s funny. He used to make fun of me for saying how much I missed him but I know he misses me, too. He always gets a little hyper, doing things he knows I’ll appreciate, right before I come up, like putting fresh sheets on the bed (we’re gonna make ’em nasty again quick!), stocking the fridge with my favorite beer, Amstel Light, mowing the lawn so it looks good. Those sorts of things. He’ll have a bottle of Champagne chilled and he’ll have some strawberries or cherries and chocolates to go with it. He’ll have fresh candles in the living room and on the porch where we love to sit at night if the weather’s warm. He’ll get my favorite soaps out and put them in the shower where I can reach them. He’ll hang a pretty pink towel and washcloth on the towel bar for me. He’ll even clean the toilets!!! What a man!!! Can you see why I love him?

I spent thirty years with a man I cared about but never did he make me feel so cherished as I do now with D. Thirty years of wishing for attention, a little time, a sign that I was the most important thing in his life. It never happened. He wasn’t capable of that. It makes me appreciate the wonderful relationship I have now even more. I will never live the way I did before, in a cold and dead marriage with someone for whom I have nothing in common. Life is too short and I am too old to live that way even one more day.

Damn! I can’t wait for tomorrow……..

A Few Things I Adore

Smells are assaulting me! In a good way!

As I drove on the Thruway coming home from upstate NY on Tuesday I had the windows down and the smell coming in the car was amazing! It was coming from all the flowering Russian Olive trees growing along the highway. They are fairly common here in NE Pennsylvania and parts of NY State. They naturalize easily and when they bloom…ahhh, the smell is so sweet!

I was in the garden last evening just before dinner and as I rounded the corner the scent hit me. It was heady perfume and in that humid, pre-rain atmosphere the smell filled the still air . I found the source of the smell. I planted a tree peony many years ago near the back corner of the house. Some years it does well and some years I’m lucky to see even one bloom from it. This year it’s the mother-lode! I cut two of the blossoms and brought them indoors. The flowers are approximately 8-10 inches in diameter and they are sooo fragrant!


 Since I was in the kitchen…with a camera I thought I’d show you a few other things that I adore. This is my new favorite snack food. I am addicted to it! I don’t feel any smarter but I love it!

You can buy cheaper versions of cheddar-flavored popcorn but this one is the best!


 Tonight I am having a couple of old friends over for dinner and for dessert I am serving my newest and most decadent indulgence. I found this sparkling wine at a wine tasting. The pourer said “try this and tell me what you think.” I sipped it and said “it’s nice!” He said “now take a bite of this brownie here, chew it, then take another sip of the wine.”

Oh-My-God!! The flavor changed to raspberries, and roses, and bubbles, and sinfully good chocolate all at the same time. The flavor just burst through my mouth! I can’t say enough good things about this combination !!!!

It costs between $16-$18 but trust me; if you really want to impress your friends or simply indulge yourself in any way, this is the ticket!

It is a Spanish sparkling wine so you may find it at larger wine shops in the Champagne section.  GO NOW !!! Oh, and the bottle is especially beautiful for gift-giving!

  I do adore me some gardening. My idea of a perfect afternoon includes spending time in my gardens. I love weeding (yes, I do!) and getting my hands in the dirt, pruning, and deadheading, and collecting cut flowers to bring indoors or to give to friends.


  This picture was taken from my deck at around 7 o’clock last night. The azaleas would be fuller but the deer tend to munch them during the winter months. It’s OK. I get some. They get some.



       This is the view of my front porch. This was taken last summer. I probably won’t plant so much there this year since it’s hard to get people willing to come over and water the pots when I’m away. I will miss this but the trade-off is good since I now have D. in my life!

Ahhh, spring! Makes you feel glad to be alive, doesn’t it?