This post is dedicated to Purplehatter in appreciation for my marvelous new HEADER! He gives great header, doesn’t he?
Hey…psssssst!!! Wanna get hot? I mean realllly hot!
I want you to put on some old, worn-out jeans. Slide a t-shirt over your head. Don’t fuss. You’re gonna take it all off later anyway. You’re gonna get D-I-R-T-Y.
Now go out to the shed in the yard. Yeah, baby, that’s what I’m talking about… the shed.
See that pile of logs over in the corner? Take a BIG one! You know you want that BIG one, don’t you?
Now make it stand up! Use your hands. That’s it! Hard and tall and proud!! You are doing great! Take your time. We have all day, baby. Feel the wood.
Now grab that axe and raise it over your head. I want you to DO IT! Go on. Give that naughty old piece of wood a good whack! It needs a strong hand. It wants to feel the hard edge of your thrust! Bring it!
OOOoooOOOHH!
Do it again! OOOH! Are you hot? YES!!!!
It’s OK to scream. Let it all out! I WANT to hear you scream! Come on!!!
YES! YES! YES! YES! OH! YES!!!!
Now look at your wood. Aren’t you feeling amazingly satisfied??? I see the smile on your face. It was good , wasn’t it??You know you liked it. A lot!
Take a break. We’re gonna do this all day long, baby. Yes. We are. You know it’s gonna hurt tomorrow.
Now put your hands around that wood. Carry a BIG pile into your house. Gently now… put it in .. the wood stove. LIGHT MY FIRE!!! Feel it?? Feel the heat??? Oh, baby, I am SO hot!
*grin* Damn. You are good!
(This is how I amuse myself on those winter mornings when the temperature dips into the teens and my house is cold. My children have reason to worry about the mind of their mother. )
trishatruly.wordpress.com 
THANKS FOR THE LINK BACK AND I AM GLAD YOU LIKE IT!
Purplehatter- It’s the very least I could do! I owe you! I love my new banner!!
Oh, and I just blogrolled you. Hope that’s OK?
I HAD PUT YOU ON MY BLOGROLL BEFORE I MADE IT BUT THAT IS COOL YOU THOUGHT ENOUGH OF ME TO ADD ME TO YOURS, THANKS!
Heh heh heh. Got wood?
SJAT- Well, at least the men are commenting! Thanks, SJAT! And yeah…*snicker*
This was great! Damn I miss having a wood fireplace. All my husband does is turn on the gas now! 🙂
I love your new banner as well. Purple Hatter did a great job!
Just a Mom- Thank you very much!
I use my fireplace all winter long. I know it’s supposedlly inefficient heat-wise but mood-wise it’s the best!
OMG! I so want to come over and light your fire now! 😉
Gary- I KNEW you had a dirt-ty mind!!! 😈 Like attracts like! When Lisa, Mabel, Joy, Nicole and the rest come here for a visit they will need a male traveling companion. You BETTER bring your ass here with them!!! You got some firewood to take care of, Mr. Gary!
I would seriously come with them to visit you in a heartbeat! That would be so much fun!!!
Gary, Consider yourself invited!
I love that!!!! I am glad the blue guys were not doing anything else because Tooters snuck up on me and I did not want to explain that to her especially after the Whore incident recently lol.
Sunnymom- Whew! That was close then, huh? HAHAHAHA Little Tooter Potty Mouth! I love her!
ROFLMAO….do you think Gary is capable of keeping all of us in control? That’s a long trip and there is bound to be hell raising!
I loved your story here!
JJ- Gary? Keep US under control?? Have you lost your mind, woman??? We will have to watch HIM like a hawk, I’m thinking! But it will definitely NOT be boring!! 👿