If only


If only:

1.my hairdresser really WAS a magician!

2. all cookies were sold individually I could buy a “sampler”– 6 Oreos, 4 Pecan Sandies, 3 Nutter Butters, and a Mallomar!

3.my new shoes made me feel like I was “walking on clouds”.  **coughbullshitcough* Damn bunions! Damn flat feet!

4. rice cakes tasted like pizza.

5. pizza tasted like rice cakes.

6. men came with an “on/off” button.  I mean, come on… flip the switch- turn ’em on!  And vice versa!

7. cell  phones deactivated when inside of moving vehicles!

8. my ex could have danced half so well!

9. my underwear looked as sexy on  me as it did in the store…on a hanger.

10. cigarettes weren’t bad for you..I’d have a two-pack-a-day habit! I still miss ’em after 7 years!

11. being stupid was painful.  heeheehee

12. the “Blog Surfer” button on WordPress was a transporter, I’d have all my bloggy friends over for tea (or bloody marys)!

7 comments on “If only


    Purplehatter- Like it?? I LOVE IT!! You are so talented!! THANK YOU from the bottom of my raven-lovin’ heart!

  2. If only is right. Don’t even tell me I’m still going to miss the smokes after 7 years!! That’s hell on earth!

    Joy- Sorry. This is only me. Thing is, I miss ’em, but the difference is, I don’t HAVE to have them! Big difference!

  3. I love that list!!!!! So so so true especially the hairdresser and rice cakes. It seems like lately my only superpower is the ability to hold the couch down with my ass while I study and being grouchy at the least little things around me.

    Sunnymom- Hey, that’s a good power to have! Those couches have been known to spontaneously fly away and that could be dangerous!!

    Thanks, my friend, for stopping in to comment!

  4. I have to admit, I do not miss the smokes. Earlier this year I thought I did and had a couple of puffs from my cousin.

    Never again !!!

    Love the list.

    Love the baby dancing.

    Widdleshamrock- I am guessing I would have the same reaction after all this time but when I smell cigarette smoke I wanna puff!

    Wasn’t the baby adorable?? Glad you liked it!!

  5. LOL! Great list! I literally laughed out loud at number 9. What does that hangar have that we don’t?

    Jean- Amen!! I mean how thin do I have to be to look like a clothes hanger? The last time I got really thin my tits dried up and blew away so I am thinking that’s not the problem……. heeheehee

    Thanks for stopping by!

  6. So with you on the pizza woman. Oh yeah.

    Hay- Right? If it tasted like rice cakes I would be far less tempted to suck down three or more slices in a sitting! LOL

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