when you hug a child

Today was one of those days.  Growing older and living (mostly) alone I often look back on my life and the vision is not always what I wish it to be.

 I cleaned house for my daughter today. I enjoy that and she pays me well but I do it while she is at work and the grandchildren are in daycare so the house is empty.

While I clean my mind is free to wander   As I cleaned my grandson’s room I remembered my own children and the way their rooms looked and smelled.  I remembered how when the girls were very young I would watch them as they slept and how they looked like little angels. I would often feel bad because during the day I had lost my temper over things that I now know are really unimportant. I would see their sweet little faces relaxed in slumber and feel the time I had with them rushing, rushing away!! I wanted to stop time, to rewind and get a chance to go back and do things better, more lovingly!

If only I had worried less about whether they tramped mud in on their shoes, or whether they goofed off at bedtime so as to delay the time for lights out and had instead spent more time playing Candyland and lying in the grass watching the clouds with them or catching lightning bugs in a jar on a hot summer night.

I found this video today. Please watch it and then ask yourself if you’ve hugged someone you love recently.

15 comments on “when you hug a child

  1. Beautiful video clip!

    Looking back one always get the thought of maybe I could have done it in a different way. It is not easy at all. Isn’t that a part of life?

    I am a “hug” person = ). Hug and kiss on the cheek is something that I do from the bottom of my heart. The ones that I love and care for gets of a lot of those. If heart is empty there will be just a handshake or nothing at all ; )

    Jeanette- Well, here’s a hug for you, my friend. I wish all good things for you: relief from your chronic pain and for your school to go well!

    Thanks for always taking the time to stop be and say a few (kind) words. It’s very much appreciated!

  2. Nice clip. it reminds us to be more patient to our close people.

    warlock- Glad you enjoyed it. Oh yes, patience… it’s something I work on all the time and I am so much better at it now than when I was younger.
    Thanks for dropping by!

  3. OMG Trisha, I’m sitting here now just bawling. I remember all those “what’s that” and all the “why mom’s.” I, like you, sometimes wish back for those days of tucking in at night and reading bedtime stories but you know what? For the most part, I did take the time with my boys that I wanted and needed and I’m so glad I did. I just wish for some things, I’d been a little more patient. Thanks so much for this great post. It really took me back in time. Awesome video as well. Also, there is NOTHING as wonderful as watching a sleeping child.

    Joy- I agree. I did take a lot of time with the girls but there were times when I let little things get to me and I regret that. I went through some huge issues when I was raising them and I’m glad they turned out so well. I am proud of them and amazed at their goodness despite their mother’s craziness at times.

    And yes, sleeping children are the sweetest things in the world.

  4. Awesome and very moving video.
    I always check in on my girls before I go to bed and give them a kiss on the cheek. The other night I found my oldest daughter who is 17 “pretending” to be asleep. The next day I asked her why she was “pretending” to be asleep and she said “because I wanted my kiss!”

    Just a Mom- AWWW!! That was so sweet!! They’re never too old, are they? I wish I could do that a few hundred more times!

  5. I hug my wife everyday. Before she goes to work and when she comes home. I’m a stay-at-home husband due to not being able to find work *anywhere* which resulted in me started my own business…which btw isn’t going so well right now. So I get alone time a lot. I know how you feel..sorta 😉

    Josh- I have this incredible superstition that if I don’t hug my loved ones and tell them I love them that it may be the last time I see them! Whenever I leave or someone leaves me, even for a short time I do this!
    Alone is sometimes nice. I kinda crave it if I’m with someone all the time but after a few days, well.. I get the itch to be with someone. (“Someone” knows who he is.)

    Being alone does give you a chance to ponder.

    As for the job thing and the business thing, I hear ya! I am looking for part-time work and that’s not going well at all. If Iwas 20 years younger I might start another business but at 55 I don’t have the determination or strength to do that again. I wish you luck!

  6. wow, what a touching video! Thanks for posting Trisha. I’m happy to say that I answer ALL of the “what’s that” and “why” questions asked by my son. My older boys don’t ask as often anymore. Anyway, this video makes me glad that I do for sure!

    Gary- YOU are great dad, you know that! Your son is so lucky to have his dad be so involved in his life. I hear you are a damn fine cook and a superb egg-stander-upper, too! 😆

  7. *sniff* How amazingly sad and touching.
    The other day I found a little ‘bug’ drawn on a piece of paper, cut out and stuck next to the microwave. It made me smile, and yet feel a little sad, because in no time at all, these little touches will be gone…

    Hay- I know!! So sad and yet so touching!

    How sweet that one of your darlings did that for you! The apple doesn’t fall far from the tree. You do amazing and wonderful things with your children and you have the photos to prove it!!

  8. What an exceptionally beautiful mini story.
    Slows one down a few notches to breathe.

    Thank you,

    – M

    Mark- I am so glad you liked it. I saw it and thought it too good not to share.

  9. Aww, that brought tears to my eyes.

    I am a hugger. Touch is so important to me.

    Though I have to be honest, if my kids asked me something 21 times, I don’t think I would respond with the answer and a hug every time.

    Widdleshamrock- HAHAHAHA!!! I don’t think I would have answered and hugged more than, maybe, 10 times before I said “I am so taking you to the doctor!” 😆

  10. Dammit Trisha. Just when I’d managed to drag myself out of the guilt-mire, you swipe the carpet from under me!

    Definitely needs watching I have forwarded that on.

    SJAT_ Sorry, Babe. Didn’t mean to guilt you out. 😆 Now go hug somebody!!!

  11. My son is about fifteen-and-a-half years old now. I recall, with great warmth and joy, all the pleasant times . . . all those times he laughed and giggled when I sat him atop my shoulders, the times when I would hold him as an infant and he would stare at the ceiling fan and just smile, and the times I led him by the hand somewhere–anywhere.

    Yet I’m addled and saddened by guilt over all the other times I should have spent with him, watching him play, watching him just be a little boy. My throat clenches every time I think about it.

    In May I quit the job I’d been working for seven years; half his life I’d spent always on-call, always having to be ready to make the client a priority over him. I said enough is enough, and quit.

    I won’t let the next three or four slip by like I did his childhood. We spent plenty of time together, don’t get me wrong . . . but in this father’s eyes, I didn’t spend enough time.

    Thank you Trish. It’s hard to write through watery eyes, but it would have been wrong not to comment.

    J.W.- Thank YOU for sharing that with us. You are giving your son a priceless gift—the gift of you! We never regret the time we spend being with the ones we love. I know you both are all the better for it. Bless you!

  12. my parents aren’t touchy, but I am with my kids. No one is allowed to leave the house without giving mum (me) a kiss lol

    Such a lovely video – thanks for sharing it with us 🙂

    MistressB- Yeah, mine weren’t either. I don’t remember many hugs and even fewer kisses from them. I am such a hugger now!

    Thanks for the lovely comments!!

  13. I was such a brat as a kid. I appreciate my mother a lot more now than I ever did back then. I’d appreciate her even more if she came over and cleaned my house for me. 😉

    Auntie- We were ALL brats as kids. Or at least us normal people were! Moms don’t generally expect much appreciation until later in life. Then we don’t expect it. We demand it or guilt everyone into it! LOL

    Oh hells yeah! I clean her house but she pays me for it!!! HAHAHAHA

  14. … I wonder why we look back and think about the things we did wrong and not more about the things we did right? I loved this video clip- especially that the son gave him a nice hug and kiss. Sometimes, words are just no good- a hug and a kiss can mend it all. I love this post Trisha!

    Mabel- You are so right! We do tend to look at our mistakes much more than all the things we did right! I liked the film for reminding me to always choose my priorities wisely.
    Here’s a big hug from , my friend, for always “getting” me.

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