scraping the bottom


Gotta love Bourdain!! What a ham bone!


After checking my Blog Stats here on WordPress, I thought it might be fun to take those search terms that keep bringing folks here and actually use them all in one post.

This is from yesterday:

anthony bourdain 134
fiona 38
french maid 20
collard greens 13
letter n 12
nick nolte 10
sexy maid 9
maid 7
the letter n 5
french maid costumes 4

So I will attempt to write something using all these words!


french maid2I am a maid. I am not French and yet I can speak French un petit peu. Therefore I shall call myself a French Maid ( because this is my blog and I am doing the writing!) I clean house for my oldest daughter because she pays very well and I happen to like house work! It’s a win-win situation for both of us! Plus I happen to hate being “supervised”.  I can work all day scraping the crud from her home as long as no one tries to tell me how or when to do it!

I am also a huge fan of the show “No Reservations” starring my favorite chef Anthony Bourdain, who has French ancestry . Thus we are forever tied in this commonality!! OO la la!!

 I don’t think he has ever cooked collard greens,  but one day I would like to make them for him. My mother’s technique was to wash them, chop them and then cook them for 2 years with 10 pounds of pork. She would then serve them and all their glorious “pot likker” with  her own homemade skillet cornbread. This is why I have always had a problem with my weight. I grew up eating this shit that tastes like heaven to every southern Florida Cracker girl!

 I grew up eating what most people think of as “Soul food” . Black-eyed peas, collards, mustard greens, catfish, and cornbread with red-eye gravy were staples at my mother’s table.  And dried lima beans if you were a bad girl. I must have been very bad as a child since I can remember gagging my way through plate after plate of the nastiest, glutinous-iest horror ever put before a child. Even a Troll like Fiona would not have eaten dried lima beans without gagging!

 Now I am not going to use the letter n word just because I’m from the South. I grew up friends with my Black neighbors. We looked out for one another. If my mom and I caught too many mullet for our family to eat right away we took the extra over to Blue who would gladly take them for his supper! He raked our yard in exchange for our surpluses. We gave him produce from my mother’s bounteous garden and he did what he could considering his lame foot and curved spine. We took care of one another back in those days.

Nick Nolte played a Southern gentleman in the Pat Conroy version of The Prince of Tides. I loved him back in the old days when he was still handsome and I was still young enough to think I might have had a chance with him “if only”…. The Pat Conroy novels were some of my favorite books, and still are. He wrote about things that I grew up with , like the crazy relatives, the drinking, the spousal abuse, the real South, ya unnerstand!!

 I am trying to decide if buying a sexy French Maid outfit would make my man, D’Bear happy.

Who am I kidding? Of course it would!

12 comments on “scraping the bottom

  1. Good lord. That bone makes even this vegetarian want to eat meat.

    Anja- HAAAAHHHAA!! Oh, YEAH, Baby!!The meat is sweetest next to the bone!!

  2. My stats suck. This “blogging” thing is beginning to hold about the same value as a personal journal. Unless you’re blogging about sex, nobody much cares (myself included 🙂 )

    Dobeman– I KNOW!!! But guess what? My experiment worked! The stats for this post are the highest of any I’ve ever done. Using all those search terms in one place did it!

    How pathetic is that? 😆

  3. Dis is one of the best posts I ever read!!!

    Crabdaddy- So you have only read 4 posts —-ever?? LOL!

    Since you have been stuck inside with all that rain you are mighty easy to amuse, I see!!

    Seriously….you are too, too kind.

  4. Oh Trisha, you truly do crack me up. Man, that “bone!” What more is there to say??

    I never check my blog stats but this was so funny that maybe I should check them out!! You made my morning with this.

    Joy- Try it! Seriously! Take all the search terms, use them in a post and then make SURE you tag and categorize with those same search words! Watch what happens!!!

    I’m glad I made you smile today! 😀

  5. Man, I always get tons of searches for dog stuff. No fun. Maybe it’s because I usually forget to tag.

    Birdpress- Not that it matters! HA!! I used to forget to tag, too, but now I do it automatically!! BIG NUMBERS!!!! GIMME BIG NUMBERS!!!

  6. BEAUTIFUL !!!!! lol. So funny.

    My highest searches are for Hot Hunks. No surprises there.

    Widdleshamrock–LOL You could post about Hot Hunks of fried tofu for all it matters!!! It’s all in the search terms!!

  7. One of my top blog search term hits are for ‘drunk girl’. Add something about getting hammered in there and it should double the hits.

    Evyl- I shoulda thought of that *smacks self in the head*
    THAT would have rounded the numbers up, for sure!!!

  8. that is the funniest thing I’ve read all week!!!!

    JJ- I so gotta stop playing Farmer and get back to blogging and paying attention to my blogger friends’ comments!!
    Thanks, Love!

  9. hahaha, I actually got here for the french maid. But your cite: every job has dignity if it is done with dignity, hits me very hard.

    I’m not english speaker so, all my words could actually look like randomized. I don’t know.

    Bort- HAHA!!! Gotcha!!! Thanks for stopping to comment!! Come by anytime!!

  10. “then cook them for 2 years with 10 pounds of pork.”

    Damn. And I thought MY folks were crackers LOL

    Nice :o)

    Although, after we got old enough to have cars, my dad started hankerin’ for comfort foods from his youth. I would come home and smell boiled cabbage and liver and onions…

    “I’m going to McDonald’s! I’ll be back when it smells better in here!”


    Gadfly- Obviously you were never in the house when the fam started cooking chitluns. Talk about nausea-inducing smells!! Oh, and ask me about swamp cabbage!!

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