NOT an April Fools Day Joke

I don’t know what to think about this.

I arrived home on Monday after spending ten days away. Everything was as it should be: doors locked, house intact, etc.

HOWEVER as I was drinking a cup of coffee and chatting with D’Bear later that day, I looked out on my deck and saw that one of my plastic Adirondack chairs was tipped over. I went outside to set it upright and sawΒ this!p4020039

Upon closer inspection I saw that the leg was completely broken off!p40200331

Not only that but the armrest is broken as well as there being a hole in the seat! There were pieces of plastic all over the deck!p4020040

This is so weird! None of the other furniture is harmed. The furniture was not rearranged. There are no claw marks (as from a bear!) or signs that something fell on it. There are no branches from the tree anywhere near the deck. No one around here knows anything about it and are as baffled as I as to how this could have happened!

Now I realize this is cheap plastic furniture and while I don’t worry about replacement costs or anything I still am a little freaked out because these chairs don’t (in my experience) spontaneously explode! DO they?

Any idea as to how this could have happened? I’d appreciate some feedback on this because it really bothers me!

19 comments on “NOT an April Fools Day Joke

  1. I’d be asking that pickle!!!

    seriously I think that plastic crap can just break apart at will. I’m serious! But to me that looks a little suspicious! I’d be wondering if you didn’t have an unwelcome visitor (e.g novice vandal?)

    I don’t know what to make of it..was it a weak chair maybe the others ganged up on it because it was weak? You know that whole circle of life thing?

    hhhhmmm I’m not much help am I? I’m blaming it on the pickle and I think you should too..either that or that pyro dragon set the leg on fire!

    Javajunkee- BBWAAAAHAAHAAAAAAHAHHA!!!! Weak chair and the others ganged up on it!!!! Too fucking funny!! I KNEW I could count on my blogger friends to tell me what I need to hear to keep this in perspective!!! Gawd, Grrl, I LUZ you!!! :LOL:

  2. A deer?

    SLF- Ya know, you MAY be onto something! I believe they are PISSED because I haven’t been home much lately to throw out the cracked corn they love so much!!! I saw one give me the hoof the other day when I went outside!Hmmm… LOL

  3. You know, that pickle!! The things I’ve heard about him… mustn’t rule him out.

    It really could have been the plastic freezing and thawing once to many times. Plastic is like that. It just seems to break in weird ways. I find it hard to believe that a vandal would take the time to wreck just one chair. The thought doesn’t fit.

    Years ago, when my boys were young. We had a terrible problem with “Not ME.” “Not me” ruined a lot of things in our house. He hasn’t been around for a while so maybe he moved east and is now at your house?? Not buying that??? I give up. If you figure it out, let us know.

    Joy- I used to have problems with Not ME, too! He/she hasn’t been by much the past few years since I got that divorce. Interesting co-inky-dink? I think not!

    This is a new take on the planned obsolescence theme perhaps. After a few years the darned chairs just EXPLODE when no one’s around to witness! How do they know??????

  4. hmmm…. strange very strange then again strange thinks happens though there are often some kind of explaination behind it. But this is a tricky one. Would have been easier if all of them had been broken. What kind of animals to you have around where you live?
    Hope you’ll find an answer to it.
    Spellbound Sky

    Jeanette- Thanks, darlin’! You could be right. There MUST be a logical explanation but so far the votes are supporting the SuperPickle or Fire-Breathing Dragon theory! HAHAHA!!!

  5. My guess is a piece of airplane waste fell from an overhead plane, hit the back corner, broke the chair and then melted and washed away in the rain……..

    D’Bear- HI, BABY!!! You came and you commented!!!! WHoo-ee!!
    As for your answer to this mystery: are you saying it was smashed by a ball of frozen poop??? YUCK!!!!!

  6. I think I’d send a bill for a new chair home with the dragon and the pickle πŸ˜‰

    Javajunkee- Hoo, Baby!! That was an expensive piece of outdoor furniture! I think I payed all of $15 for it!! Haha!! I got way more than that out of their visit!! πŸ˜€

  7. Maybe a big chunk of ice fell off the roof and smashed it? Then the ice melted? Then the boogyman came along and smashed the chair?

    Brdpress- Uh.. ok.. Which one are we going for? I don’t like the sound of boogeymans around here!! I live alone, remember!!!

    (Actually the ice on the roof was WAAAAYY away from those chairs but good thinkin’!)

  8. I’m blissfully unaware of what deer can do, but I’ll vote for them.

    Anja- I like that idea. Those little bastards chew the shit out of my rosebushes, yews, and Rhododendrens (sp?) so I think I’ll just blame them!

  9. looks like somethings’s sat on it and the leg has been a little warped and snapped off which would also explain the damage to the arm rest, but not the chunk our of the seat…….. Doesn’t look like vandals though.

    I vote dragon or deer too!

    Mistrees. B.- Sounds good but.. I am no light-weight and I sit, lounge, bounce, and stand on those darn chairs and they haven’t snapped on me yet. I really think that the only way I could do that kind of damage would be if I took a hammer to them!

    Dragons. Seems to be the consensus. Yep…

  10. Dragon. It was a dragon, like Mistress B says. I’ve had to shoot a couple of ’em off my deck before. They were using my grill when I wasn’t looking. Then again possums, look a lot like dragons.

    James- AH HA!!! I had a hunch it was something like that!! Good to know they have been after others’ deck stuff, too!
    Possums look like nasty dead rats with great big sharp teeth, James. What kinda dragons you got down there in the Carolinas??

  11. I think a lonely soul, after consuming a bottle of wine, decided to seat him/herself in your chair on a warm afternoon to soak up some rays. (Possibly a friend who will never admit it.) The freezing temperatures at night, combined with the warmth of the days we’ve been having made your chair brittle. Comfort came easy, he/she leaned too far to the right and crash! As for the hole in the seat of the chair, I think they were carrying a cork screw and stuck it their back pocket. I hope they didn’t have a leather interior in their car! I’d love to know if you ever find out!!

    cookingbachelorstyle- WOW! You made a great story!! Even if I find out that there was some simple reasonable explanation(??!) I will always imagine this scenario! I LOVE IT!
    Thanks for playing along!! I promise to let you know if and when I do discover the real culprit!

  12. my fat ass broke it . . i didnt know you were going out of town and i came over. i waited and waited . . . . and waited some more. i got tired and had a sit down .. *sigh* i sorry.
    i’ll send you the 15 bucks for it.

    Red- Baby, I love you to pieces… but your ass ain’t fat! And besides, these chairs are made out of resin and they’re strong!
    If you ever do come by, I promise to be here with bells on, and a few bottles of whatever floats your boat already chilled!


  13. It sounds like an act of violence perpetrated by a crazed anti-plastic terrorist.

    Evyl- If they ever catch the damned perpetrator I want them locked up in your jail and you can give ’em hell for me!! PUT ‘EM IN THE HOLE!!!!!!!

  14. Super large freak hailstone that completely melted away leaving no evidence.

    River- I like that theory better than D’Bear’s. At least hail is clean!!! πŸ˜€

  15. Awww, da’bear commented (schweet!). My pickle sure gets a bad rap! “Blame it on the pickle” – jeez!

    Maybe it was one of the garden nymphs? Muah-ha-ha-ha-ha… hold on, ha-ha-ha-ha! They must have been trying to rub up on the chair and busted it!

    JQ_ It’s just not fair to blame the Pickle all the time!!
    BbWAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAAHH!!! The Garden Nymphs did it!! They rubbed their big old boobies all over that chair till it brokeded!!! I think I see TaTa marks on there, now that you mention it!!! ROFLMFAO!!!

  16. Maybe some fat bastard was walking home drunk and decided your chairs looked like a nice place for resting.


    Bronsonfive- There IS a bar around here but it’s 2 1/2 miles away! They’d be pretty darned sober by the time they made it this far!! But the Ex comes to mind!! (fat bastard)HAHAHA!!!

  17. This is the kind of stuff that could keep me awake at night. I’d have to go with the freezing temps doing ultimate damage to plastic, but the little hole in the seat is bizarre. Therefore, second choice has to be martians. Totally hot martian sex.

    Pamajama- Ya know…. Birdpress and her BFF camped out on that deck when they were little and they swore they both saw a UFO!! You could be right!!!! Martians… having sex!! Probes and everything!! Hooo-wee!!

  18. Wow. I was thinking along the lines of D’Bear’s comment but now that I’ve read Pamajamas, I’m thinking you need to set up a video camera out on your back deck. Just in case. 😯

    teeni- I would, darlin’, but my ex got it in the settlement.. and so much more…….
    I thought that my blogger friends would reassure me that this is nothing to fret over but honestly, I am not all that comforted by the answers!!

  19. I’m going with resin-fatigue from being frozen and thawed, frozen and thawed over and over again. Maybe when the leg broke and it fell, then maybe the hole in the seat broke.

    You know..kinda like that Terminator that Schwarzanegger poured liquid nitrogen all over!

    Dobeman- That makes as much sense, if not way more, than all my other choices. It just doesn’t feel right though, you know?
    I like the Terminator analogy!! SF rocks!
    ps. thanks for leaving me the book “Revelation Space” by Alasair Stevens. It’s next on my must-read list!

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