it’s a mad, mad world

honest_crap_

Both Javajunkee and JavaQueen honored their blogrollees with this award. Thank you , ladies {{snicker!! ladies!}}  for including me on your esteemed blogrolls!

The deal is I have to tell 10 HONEST THINGS about myself! Oh, Mother McCree! This is tougher than it looks!

1.     I came in Second Place in our school district’s spelling bee when I was a fifth-grader. I won a U.S.Savings Bond worth $25! That was the most money I had ever had IN MY LIFE at that time!  I still am a pretty good speller but not such a great typist.  I never took typing in school so my technique is a little weird ..but effective!

2.   I paint my fingernails and then peel the paint off with my teeth. It’ s so gross but I can’t help it. Manicures that I pay for sometimes last a little longer.  I can usually hold out for a few days because I don’t like wasting the money. But if I do it myself I don’t last a day before  my nails look like I got my hand stuck in a blender!

3.    I HATE HATE HATE being tickled! I would prefer someone slap me than tickle me. That’s how much I HATE it!

4.    I fell off a horse at a full gallop when I was pregnant with Birdpress. Ironically she’s the only one of my children who loves horses and horseback riding! (She’s good, too!!)

5.    My first new car was a baby-blue 1970 Opel Cadette hatchback. I loved that car!

6.    I have never had a cavity in any of my teeth  and I have never broken a bone.

7.    I killed my oldest daughter’s guinea pig on her 9th birthday. I didn’t mean to do it! I put it outside in its cage to enjoy grazing in the grass and forgot that the shade didn’t stay in one place but moved with the sun. The poor little thing died from heatstroke. I felt like a murderer! It was awful!

8.   I snore like a chainsaw sounds. Since I was a wee little girl with adenoid problems I have snored so loudly that no one wants to sleep in the same room with me….unless they snore loudly, too, then for some reason we cancel each other out. I understand that there is a phenomenon whereby if you placed two speakers facing one another and played the same  sound on them both at the exact same decibel level you would hear nothing but silence. That’s what it’s like with snoring, I think!

9.    Many  years ago I was commissioned to make a papier mache sculpture of Pierce Bush, the nephew of G.W. and the son of Neil and Sharon Bush. The kid had done some professional modeling  and was cute as a button! We had a mutual friend who hooked me up after seeing some of my larger  sculptures.At the time of the commission Pierce was about 6  years-old.  I spoke with Sharon Bush several times and she even sent me family photos of him for me to work with. The deal went sour however when the election came up and Papa Bush had them traveling around the country campaigning for him, unsuccessfully.  She put the project on hold and I was never paid for the work I had already done on the sculpture.  I recently saw a video clip of the now 19 year-old Pierce. OMG!  What a douchebag.

10.    And FINALLY …this next video is an example of a skill I think would be extremely useful. I’m not sure why… but still.. I would be more confident in myself as a woman if I had her talent.

Now anyone who wants to do this meme.. take it with my blessing.

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16 comments on “it’s a mad, mad world

  1. how bad is it that I actually laughed at number 7?

    I cant’ help it…I think it’s the way you worded it!

    still reading!!……

    Javajunkee- I know, right? It IS kinda funny in a fucked up kind of way but at the time I felt like the worst mom in the whole world! On her BIRTHDAY!!! 😦

    Keep reading….

  2. you’re not going to believe this, but I also came in second in the spelling bee in 5th grade! And now I’m a professional proofreader and a pretty darn good typist — go figure

    davisw.- Oh, MAN! You mean I coulda made a career out of it?? Fuckity FUCK! (I always say I’m too damned smart to be this poor….)
    😆 😆

  3. This was so much fun to read. It was the way you wrote #7. Not funny but funny at the same time. Ya know??? The snoring?!?!? My husband does this and it’s a great excuse to have my own bedroom. How I love sleeping alone 🙂

    This is the only meme type thing I’ve ever done. It’s interesting and fun and not dumb.

    Joy- I hear ya! If you really want to sleep then alone is the best way to go. I get about 1/4 of the bed during any given night cause D’Bear sleeps catty-corner on the bed leaving me with a teensy little corner to curl up on! I manage because I am not very big but sometimes I wake up so achey from that position that I wanna kick him!!! 🙂

  4. man what is it with the word fuck? I went for years without saying it and then bam out of nowhere it came…now it won’t stop. There are just some conversations that no other word will do!

    Javajunkee- So true! I is a word that can mean SOO many things and there is just no substitute sometimes!!! 😀

  5. I am the worlds worst speller, but have mad typing skills *thank the Lawd for spell checker* – I also despise being tickled. I am soooo ultra ticklish that I cannot have a pedicure- I nearly kicked the lady to death 😉
    The clip of Pierce Bush- douche bag sums it up pretty well. “Dude- ha! ha! Dude” and the last clip of the kazoo- NO WAY! NO WAY! OMG, ROFLMAO!

    JQ- Surprisingly, the ONLY place on my whole body that is NOT ticklish is the bottom of my feet! I LOVE pedicures!!
    I’m glad you liked those videos.
    I’m going to have to buy me a kazoo and start practicing!!!!
    ROFLMAO

  6. LMAO… guinea pig killer.
    I killed a bunch of goldfish once. Kept buying them and then killed them within a few days. My husband even revived one once. It lived for one more day and then died. Turns out they were feeder fish. Duh!

    SLF- Goldfish Killer!! HAHAHA!! I had to feed my ex’s giant tropical fish (I forget what kind, looked like a grouper) with feeder goldfish. It was kinda gross! Like feeding mice to a snake, you know? Yuck!

  7. How weird — we did the same thing — but it wasn’t on my daughter’s birthday. Only I killed TWO. I rushed little Charlotte to the vets, but they couldn’t save her. What a disaster! That damned moving sun. Who knew???

    The kazoo — unfreakingbelievable. I gotta go practice:)

    Pamajama- OMG, someone else did the SAME THING?? I don’t feel quite so stupid now!! Poor little Guinea Piggies…..

    Yeah, the kazoo lady rocks it, doesn’t she? I bet she’s popular at parties!!!

  8. oooh .. imma a paint peeler toooo !

    Red- And if you paint on about three coats you can get some good peeling going! It’s so addictive!!!! (I do have major oral-fixation issues..heehe)

  9. OK, I’ll bite. I think I can come up with 10 honest things about myself. They may bore you to tears, but I can come up with them.

    Allison- OOO, I can’t wait!!! I know I will NOT be bored, silly! How can that be possible? I want to know all your secrets!!!! Tell ALL!!! 😆

  10. Wasn’t that fish an Oscar?

    I bet that fall is what damaged my poor widdle brain… 😛

    I remember that kid! And the statue. You should have finished it anyway just ’cause it was cute. He sure grew up to be a dumbshit, huh?

    Birdpress- YES!! THANK YOU!!!! It was an Oscar!!! My poor brain is fried! I couldn’t remember but yes, you are so right!!!!!

    That fall was Karma. You and Cisco were the Karmic harmony of that less than graceful ride on a macadam road on a crazy Appaloosa!

    And AHHH, you rememer that little sculpture of the kid in a Little League uniform holding the bat? Pierce. I still have that it, unfinished though it is!!!
    That little douche bag…… I’m kinda glad I never finished it!

  11. OMG I don’t know what to even begin saying about #10. It was probably the most disturbing but amazing thing I have seen in a long time.

    #7 was my parents when they left my cockatiel on the porch for to long and she froze.

    I will work on mine today

  12. Dear Trish,

    It is Monday it fucking sucks so I am jumping on the band wagon with you and letting fly all the cussing I can handle right with you.

    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCKITY FUCK FUCK

    You know that ought to do it and I think I even feel a little bit better.

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