An “Evyl” Interview

 As is my daily habit, I was over at Evyl’s place the other day and I read an interview he had with the lovely Anja.  There is no other duo who can do justice to an interview like these two. They are brilliant and funny and bawdy and well, just get over there, if you haven’t already!

I was so impressed I immediately asked Evyl for an interview as well.  And then I began to get scared. What was I thinking??!  

He was kind…..sort of.

The rules for anyone else who wants to be interviewed:
1. Leave me a comment saying, “Interview me.” (you don’t have to be interviewed if you want to comment)
2. I will respond by emailing you five questions. (I get to pick the questions).
3. You will update your blog with the answers to the questions.
4. You will include this explanation and an offer to interview someone else in the same post.
5. When others comment asking to be interviewed, you will ask them five questions.

Now for the interview:

 Evyl:     Meatloaf says that he would do anything for love but he won’t do that. Whatever that is. What would you not do for love?

Me:     I would not sacrifice my children or grandchildren.  In 1973 I was lost, broke, and confused and ended up placing my two sons up for adoption. I felt it was the best thing I could do for them. So I know what it feels like to lose someone so precious to you that you literally wish you were dead.

Evyl:      Andrew Zimmern took ill from a bad batch of stinky tofu and the producers have asked you to host an episode of ‘Bizarre Foods’. What do you eat to freak out the audience?

Me-:   Ahh, I watch that show! I always ask myself this very question! Hmmm, well, I do eat some weird stuff on a regular basis. Most people think it’s gross but I love cottage cheese and salsa- together! And I have been known to make a liverwurst and onion sandwich on toasted English muffin! Yum!

BUT the XXX-rated version of this question would read “What would you swallow?”   heehee

Evyl:    As a past Freak of the Week winner, the world wants to know. What is the freakiest thing that you have ever done?

Me:     A TWO-Time Winner!! Let us not forget that fact. I am damned proud of it!

The freakiest thing perhaps is that I went to school to learn how to artificially inseminate cattle.  I was the only woman in a class of twelve good ol’ farm boys and I am so short they had to get me a crate to stand on!  I graduated with honors and went on to impregnate many lovely bovine ladies. I am the baby daddy!

Evyl:       After a night spent drinking too much wine at a friends house, you wake up naked on the couch. You can’t remember a thing. Do you ask your friend what happened? If it’s male? If it’s female?

Me:     Oh, Gawd! YES! I want details! At my age the memory is shot to hell anyway! I live for the details! Male, female, animal, vegetable, whatever! Make stuff up if ya have to! It’s stuff like this I can look back on and grin about with a certain pride when I’m 105 and living in a nursing home. Think how popular I’ll be with all “the boys” there!

Evyl:      What one event that you have witnessed has left you with the biggest feeling of awe? And you can’t take the easy way out and say the birth of a child even if that’s true.

Me:      Standing at the top of Mount Marcy in the Adirondacks two years ago.  That’s the highest peak in the Adirondacks . Having been afraid of heights all my life this was a major accomplishment for me. The view was utterly amazing!  On that day I hiked over 15 miles and I have never felt so insignificant as I did when I finally reached the summit and looked out over the landscape.  It was a natural high!!

(And yes, the birth of my children superceded that by a mile!)

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18 comments on “An “Evyl” Interview

  1. Great answers and I can really visualize you standing on that milk crate shoulder deep. You did an excellent job.

    Evyl- Thanks! You gave me some very interesting questions! I enjoyed this very much!
    “shoulder deep”….. oh, yes, indeed!!
    🙂

  2. I have to ask. How do you get the semen to impregnate the cows? Does some poor sod get the job of being a bull wanker?

    Next question… indulge me…

    Do you give her a kiss behind the ears before you fill her full of bull happiness?

    Anja- The answer to your first question is “yes”, some poor sod has to be a bull wanker! I, on the other hand (no pun intended) got it from a company called Sire Power who sells the semen frozen in liquid nitrogen. Each vial of semen costs between $20-$100 + !
    I had a dairy farm for about ten years and found the breeding program to be one of the most interesting aspects of farming. Not too many women felt as I did, however. Thus me being the lone female among my classmates!
    To answer your second question: no, but I always offered her a ciggy afterwards! LOL

  3. I’m still laughing at the image of you standing on a crate with your arm vanished into a cow……….

    Mistress B.- Laugh all you want! I know I do! 😀 But let me tell you, ya wanna get in and get out! Cow’s anuses (ani?) are powerful! They can cut the blood flow to your arm off in a few minutes!!! Not comfortable!!

  4. Having lived on a farm, I still have to laugh at that job of impregnating a cow.

    Reminded me of a scene from the movie “Say It Isn’t So”. The guy tried to retrieve his intended’s ring from a cow’s rear. He went in up to his shoulder and the herd decided to walk through town and he couldn’t get his arm out. So there he was marching down the street up to his shoulder in the cow.

    Jim- I’m glad you got such a kick out of it! I never saw that movie but I can imagine that scene! Not really plausible since cow’s evacuate their bowels quite often but funny nonetheless.
    I’m glad I did this job though. It’s given me plenty to talk about when conversations lag.
    😛

  5. Did they treat you just like one of the guys in that class, or was there some resentment that a woman showed up? 😕

    Great Q&A. Very nice indeed. 😉

    Spidey- Truthfully, there wa a lot of embarrassment on their parts, with guys sort of amazed that I’d shown up at all! This is a small town with (in 1983) a preponderance of small dairy farms. Women just didn’t do THAT sort of thing! I believe I am still the only woman in this county who went to breeders’ school! Once those guys got used to me they treated me like a little sister and I am still friends with several of them.
    Thanks, Peter!!
    😀

  6. You did great considering where the questions came from. 😆 However… the whole cow impregnating thing… I dunno. Not if I have to stick my hand/arm up a cow.

    Allison- Thank you! I got very afraid when I realized I had asked “you-know-who” to interview me! It was a little intimidating to ask Pure F’in’ Evyl for interview questions! I mean, come on! This is the guy with over a quarter of a million hits!!! (Don’t tell him I said so but I think he’s kinda sweet, not to mention sexy as hell!) 😉

    As for “the whole cow impregnating thing”…well, once you get past the smell of a dairy barn you’ve already dealt with the worst of it. HAHAHAHA

  7. Awesome! First of all, great questions from Evyl! And excellent answers. I really enjoyed learning more about you – I had no idea about your responsibility for so many cow births or that you had to endure such heart-rending decisions in your life. Boy would I love to sit down and chat with you in real life!

    teeni- ahh, thank you so much! I really enjoyed this meme though I had some trepidations about it. I seldom share quite THAT much information.
    I would also like to sit and chat with YOU! I think we’d be there a looonngg time!! 😀
    Love you!!!

  8. ROFLMAO! I love that you are a wild and crazy lady! I can see having nothing but good times being your friend. I can also see us sitting together having nothing to say, and that being totally cool too- you are my homie! This is a wicked cool interview and I lol reading your answers. You rock! Fo shizzle! Love you Trisha!

    JQ- Baby! You bring such a huge grin to my face every time I hear what you have to say. You are far too kind but dang! I sure do love it! Yes, JavaQueen, it’s good to be your homie!! I couldn’t be more happy than to have you as a friend.
    From one wild and crazy woman to ANOTHER- XXOOXXOOXX!!!

  9. Wow! You are one truly amazing woman. And no, I don’t don’t don’t want to be interviewed. I don’t think I can handle the questions. 😉

    SLF- That is so sweet ! I don’t feel amazing, just walking my way through things the same as everyone else.
    As for being interviewed, I respect that! However I think you could handle just about anything, woman!! You are so awesome!

  10. Firstly, a huge hug to you. Surrendering your sons would not have been easy and I have seen how that affected my birth mother. Also, having lost a son myself, I identify with the feeling of losing someone so precious.

    Impregnating cows huh? Yep. Luckily here, we are so small, we can leave it up to the animals. Though I have had to don on gloves and feel goat’s testicles, and put my hand up a pig’s vulva. Good times Trisha, good times 🙂

    widdleshamrock- HAHAHA!! I have not had the pleasure of putting my hand up a pig’s vulva but I have cleaned a gelding’s sheath! YUCK!

    Thanks for that kind and thoughtful comment regarding my sons. You do indeed understand. I am grateful for your words. Thank you. Losing your own son is horrific and you have my sincerest condolences on that.

    ((HUGS!!))

  11. yer such a freak .. and i love that about you 🙂

    red- Hey, girl! How you doin’? I’ve been missing you! Sorry to hear you had to go though hell out there in KY-Land! Glad to see you’re OK and back amongst the bloggers!
    Thanks for the comment! It takes one to know one! I love you, sugah!!

  12. Wow … the impregnatrix thing kind of blew me away LOL

    And as an adopted child who loves the parents who raised him … well …

    *tight, life reaffirming hug*

    You have to play the cards you’re dealt.

    Gadfly- Thank you so much for that wonderful hug. I do get that we have to play the cards we’re dealt. So true!

    I am proud that I could “blow you away”, my lovely man! (Ah, the wording here is very tricky!! 👿

  13. *hand up and squirming in seat*
    ME, Me, me…do me!

    Oh yea…almost forgot. There is a little something over at my place for you!

    cowgalutah- Thank you , Sweety!!
    And I’ll have some interview questions for you shortly via email!!
    😀

  14. Fascinating, all of it.

    I’m confused, though. You put the sperm in the anus? Huh?

    Pam- Not surprising to find someone confused about this. The reason the breeder’s arm is inserted into the cow’s anus is only to guide the rod holding the syringe with the sperm into the cervix. Because the wall between the vagina and the lower intestine is so thin, the breeder is able to located and direct the metal tube forward without perforating any organs.
    By the way, the breeder wears a shoulder-length plastic glove on the arm being inserted. Good breeders can usually “get in and get out” pretty quickly!

  15. Pingback: The real me interview. « CowGal’s Land

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