I Only Wanted Some Coffee


This morning I got up to make coffee, turned on the water in the kitchen sink and ..nuthin’.  Ahh, the pipes are frozen…again. This happens every winter.frozenpipe

I trudge down the cellar stairs, plug in the old blow dryer and stand there, pointing the warm blast of air up onto the frosty plumbing. I left the faucet on so I can hear when the pipes thaw and sure enough, in a few minutes, I hear that blessed sound…running water. It’s just the way we do things here at the old farmstead.

 Funny the things I’ve gotten used to living here. Like never flushing anything other than poo and pee and single ply TP down the toilet. When one lives with a septic system, one learns that wipeys and tampons, and other normal potty detritus is forbidden from the flush. I learned not to clean the toilet with Clorox since chlorine bleach kills bacteria; not something you want to do to an aerobic system.

I’ve learned to live with drafts in the winter and overheated upstairs bedrooms in the summer. I simply turn on fans and lower shades when summer’s heat makes sleeping hard.

I’ve learned that one doesn’t run the water for more than an hour or so at a time lest the pump overheat or the well starts to pull mud up from deep below ground .

 I live with cluster flies in spring and fall, as well as Asian Beetles aka LadyBugs by the thousands! I am used to the cardinals beating themselves bloody every spring when the attack my sunroom windows. They think their reflection is another bird invading their territory.

 I’m used to deer eating every rosebud from my bushes and every rhododendrun bud as well. My hostas get attacked by marauding woodchucks and rabbits nest under the spreading yews, waiting to chomp down every edible green thing they can find.

 I live with a loaded .22 at the back door. Any woodchuck or rabbit caught near my vegetable garden is fair game. I don’t care what they do on the other 68 acres of mine but these 2 acres of backyard are mine to protect from hungry packs of herbivores! And I’m a damn good shot! The crows and turkey buzzards love me when I throw a dead rabbit out into the field for them to consume. It makes my daughters upset to think that their mother can so cavalierly kill an animal. I can. I grew up in the country when pragmatic decisions like that are made every day.

 So frozen pipes, while annoying as hell, don’t really faze me at all. It’s part of life “on the farm”.

 Just let me have my coffee first. Please.cuppa

21 comments on “I Only Wanted Some Coffee

  1. But isn’t it nice?
    All that is worth it for farm-livin’.
    We had a farm with an old farm house and everything you said here, I experienced . . the farm was sold in my folks’ divorce. I would sooo give my left nut to have the house.

    Red- Yes, it really is nice. I love this place. I feel as though it needs me, that I was meant to preserve it for the future for some reason. Like it matters, you know?
    Come on down anytime. The spare room is yours whenever you want to feel that childhood feeling again.

  2. Ahhh, so that’s what you do with the dead rabbits! Good to know that someone benefits.

    Carrion eaters get a bad rap. We ought to be more appreciative! What would we do without them??!

    Jules- Yes, the “circle of life” so to speak. Sometimes even the coyotes show up to eat if they find it while it’s fresh enough.
    They all matter in the big picture!

  3. My eyes glazed over at the no coffee bit. OMG, I would die if I couldn’t have my morning hit and had to be practical first.

    Yep, I’m so freakin’ much a city dweller.

    ANja- sometimes you surprise me because you seem so … I don’t know… amazingly ..capable!

  4. HAAAAA!!!!!

    OK, that’s very, very different from life as a boy on a Texas cattle ranch, but still the same themes. Cardinals and OMFG! the rare JAYBIRD! ROFL … were the rare beauties and caused no problems. Crows, sparrows, and sometimes field larks you had to sometimes blow away LOL

    Doves, hey … you eat them, so that’s a “push” as they say in Texas 😉

    Mind you, the hawks kept most of these things in some sort of check down in the oak thicket country :o)

    Gadfly- My daddy was a cowboy down in Florida when I was a kid so I imagine it is very similar there in Texas. Growing up “country” was a good start for this damn Yankee way of life I’ve learned to embrace.
    Hell, doves are some good eatin’!!!

  5. Ahh…the country. I know how you feel! Except…not so much since the house was remodeled. But still have to put up with all those pesky animals (we can forgot about any nice foliage — just evergreens for us) and the asian beetles are a killer! It’s winter, and sometimes I don’t even know where they come from! Gah!

    And, about the guns. I keep a 30-30 and a 20 ga. shotgun and I accidentally took out a muskrat thinking it was some kind of garden eating animal. Poor muskrat. Poor, Poor Muskrat. I shot him while he was cleaning himself, too. I guess that was the little buggers last bath!

    EinB- Ahhh, another one of US! I bought my guy a Mossberg 20 gauge pump action with the pistol grip option for Christmas and he thinks he’s Rambo!
    I have not seen a muskrat in my yard yet but they better watch out. My vision isn’t what it used to be. There could be another dead varmint unintentionally joining yours in critter heaven!

  6. Never mess with a woman and her morning cuppa 😉 Your place, dead rabbit and all sounds like a piece of heaven!

    I might plant my first garden this year. I have the tiniest back yard ever, but we finally took down the swing set so I’m thinking I should lay a patch 🙂 I love homegrown veggies! To me, there is nothing better! And yes, varmints beware! No varmints in the garden! xoxoxox

    JQ- It doesn’t take much space to grow some really fine veggies, especially if you double dig the soil and make yourself a raised bed. Then you can plant really close together and the yield can be amazing! 😀

  7. Gosh, sounds like you’re describing my house! I don’t have 60+ acres, and there’s not a farm house for miles around, but the rest of the stuff… yep, I’ve got ’em, and even though the critters can be annoying, and the water thing and the heating and cooling thing drive me nuts, I love everything about my home. I’m sure you do, too!

    Allison- Yep! I love this old place even when I’m standing in that cold cellar holding a blowdryer over my head! heehee! So you know where I’m coming from! Crazy, isn’t it? 😛

  8. Well I’ll admit to not being into coffee first thing, but fuck me, if I couldn’t have tea, god help any bastard who get in my way!!!
    Pee then tea is the natural order of things….Maybe a jug of water kept in the fridge? Would that work perhaps?
    I’m a country girl born and bred so I’m with you on shooting things…some things need to be shot, pure and simple, and when you’re talking about protecting your food, then that’s a good enough reason from where i sit…and how are you to get the septic started without a dead rabbit anyway?
    Sounds like a great place to live I think..I like rustic and interesting

    Moe- Exactly!!! Pee then tea! Love it!
    Another country woman! The most pragmatic people on the planet, us.
    It can certainly be interesting living this way. It’s not for everyone though, especially the faint of heart!

  9. Have you thought of putting boiling water in a thermos flask just before you go to bed. In the morning it may not be hot enough and you’ll have to heat it, but it won’t be frozen, so you can have that first coffee without having to thaw the pipes first.

    river- That’s a mighty fine idea! I happen to have a really big thermos I rarely use so that may the way to go! Thanks for the cool comment!! 🙂

  10. I have a septic system and I also am freezing in my room right now and I don’t even get to live on a farm. I can’t wait to move to the Vineyard. I hope my room is warm.

    Joan- I can’t wait to hear about your new home! I bet it will be awesome! We will expect pictures!!! 😀

  11. I thought freezing pipes was dangerous because they could bust. I hope that doesn’t happen to you!!! I hate to think of anyone having that kind of damage in their home – it’s bad enough dealing with the cold weather. And yeah, you need a new coffee plan. How about a coffee maker with a timer so you can set it at night and the water is already in it then you can have it ready as soon as you wake up?

    teeni- Yeah, I can deal with almost anything but it sure helps to have a cuppa joe before you have to stand in your slippers in a cold cellar holding up a blowdryer for half an hour!
    The pipes weren’t frozen long enough or hard enough to burst, thankfully, since I caught it early.
    That’s why I’ve taken to shutting off the well when I go stay with D’Bear for a week at a time. At least this way if the pipes DO burst there is a only a finite amount of water to really mess things up!
    (I like the automatic coffee timer idea!)
    Thanks, SweetyPie!!

  12. There is a reason that, like teeni there, my avatar is a steamy cup a’ Joe.

    Dobeman- Ahhh, I see! We are among the many who rely on caffeine for our drug-induced jump starts every morning. 😀

  13. Ah yes farm life !!!!

    (Though we are more a farmlet)

    I am typing this with pig poo on my hands. Mmmm, better than moisturiser.

    Widdleshamrock- Pig poo!! Now there’s something I don’t miss! I also don’t miss chasin’ the little bastids every time they got out. They’re fast little son-of-a-guns!! heeheee

  14. My kind of strong independant woman!!! You rock!! My pipes don’t freeze but they do back up and I have gotten really good at tearing them apart and putting them back together again. Ahhh the things women are capable of.

    Sunnymom- Women are capable of doing anything they NEED to do, especially, as in your case, where we have to take care of our children. Women who chose to be dependent on others have simply never really been tested.
    I think you rock, Sunnymom!

  15. You just might be my new hero…at least for the moment. 🙂
    I full agree with your last comment to sunnymom – “Women are capable of doing anything they NEED to do, especially, as in your case, where we have to take care of our children.”

    ispyu- Oh, MY! I’ve never been called a hero before…..I kinda LIKE it! 😀
    I’m guessing… you have dealt with adversity on your own many times. Am I right? It’s the only way to know what you’re capable of.
    Thanks for the kind comments!

  16. Don’tcha just love country style living? You just gotta. Hey, I’ve used the hair dryer for the same purpose. I have a crawl space, but I got a wall plug installed under the house just for that reason.

    Jim- I save blow dryers just for this reason. Every time I see someone throwing one out I take it if it works. Ya never know when it might come in handy! 😀

  17. Remind me not to go near your garden 😉

    And I am so thankful not to have to know about the workings of septic tanks, haha 🙂

    Chad- Hahaha! I wouldn’t shoot you, a fellow blogger…unless you molested my tomatoes.
    You wouldn’t do that now would you???

    Septic tanks are not nasty if you treat ’em right. Kinda like some other critters I have known. 😀

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