Cases in point:
Friday night a local wine shop hosted a free wine tasting. They offered some lovely pinot noirs, a couple of chenin blancs, and I think, a shiraz. The time for the free tasting was listed as 6 p.m. to 8 p.m.
As D’Bear and I, and a couple of our friends bellied up to the tasting table we heard the pourer say she was all out of the pinots since the tasting was almost over. It was 6:50. A very tall, Eddie Bauer-ish man protested by saying, “what do you mean? It most certainly is NOT!” in a very obnoxious manner.
The pourer, a tall, lovely woman who represented the wine distributor, not the retail store directly said “The tasting is over at 7:00.”
Mr. Snotty Pants pulled himself up even taller and said, “It is NOT over till 8:00 according to your advert and anyway I wanted some of that pinot you promised!” , in a petulant voice. (yes, he actually said “advert”) Fucktard!
Evidently there had been a typo and the store hadn’t realized it was supposed to go on till 8:00 and they had not stocked enough wine for the tasting to go on that long. There were probably about 20 people in the shop at that time who did not get a taste of the pinots but they all had the good grace to accept that the FREE wine was gone and tough noogies! The store offered a few unadvertised wines for the tasting in place of the ones that had run out.
This man continued to make an ass of himself by arguing with the poor woman. We all just moved away……lest we be thought to be acquaintances of his, God forbid! Thankfully we were not!
Not one of us could imagine berating the store for running out of FREE WINE! Well, except for the fucktard.
The next night one of the neighbors with whom D’Bear and I are close friends hosted a dinner party for us and one other couple on the block. The other couple is nice enough. Just quirky and sometimes clueless.
The hosts provided the dinner while D’Bear was gracious enough to have offered to provide some wine for the meal. He brought two bottles for the six of us. Actually it was for five of us since our host himself does not drink wine, only beer. When the meal came to it’s delightful end we all began to clear the table and head for the living room. The other invited guest, Mr. Quirky (I’m being nice here ) said “Hey, is there more wine? My glass is empty!”
He and his bride brought nothing to the party. Not a bottle of wine, nor a bunch of flowers or even a crumb of food, which, while it’s ok, is not something I’m comfortable doing. Our sweet hostess found an open bottle of wine in the refrigerator and graciously offered it to him and he proceeded to fill his own glass to the rim, leaving approximately 2 ounces of wine in the bottle. Fucktard!!
He and his wife will be hosting our next round of dinners at their home. My moral dilemma is this: do we bring wine to their dinner party? I say “NO!” Let him figure it out when we ask him for a glass of wine and he looks around to see what was brought for the night. My inner Southern Belle says “why of course, honey ( we Southern Belles say ‘Honey” a lot). You must bring something for the hosts! They will expect wine!”
My other Southern Belle (the bitchy one) says “Oh, hells bells, bring them young’uns some peanuts in a can instead! They’re on sale at the dollar store!”