Change Is Good

A recent comment from Dobeman made me start wandering about the way others have seen me this past year or so.

As some of you may know, I am waiting for the final divorce papers to come through any day now.  It’s been three and a half years since my ex walked out my  door and into his girlfriend’s. I grieved and ranted and stopped functioning for over a year and then I decided that that was bullshit and decided to live again.

 I never expected to meet someone so easily. D’Bear and I met July 13th of last year and we’ve been a “couple” ever since. He lives three and a half hours away from me. We each own our own homes. We aren’t planning on changing anything major ’cause this arrangement suits us. We’re two peas in a pod. We are silly and loving and living a life I only dreamed was possible.

 What is it about me that has changed these past few years? Hmmm… let’s see.

  1. I no longer refer to myself as “Pat”, the name I got stuck with when I moved north of the Mason/Dixon Line in 1974. (Previous to that I was known as “Patty”. Gag me.) Now since the ex’s girlfriend is also named “Pat” I use “Trisha” since Patricia is a little too formal for me. I’m not a formal kinda gal.
  2. I have learned that I am once again still a sexual human being! Yeehaw! Sex is fun!! You just need the right partner!! Who knew?
  3. I no longer have someone to nag and/or bully into doing things around here. It never worked anyway and it only served to piss me off. Now when the garbage needs to be taken out or the fields need to be mowed or the car needs to be serviced I simply take care of it. I always did anyway. Now I just skip the first step!
  4. I am no longer afraid to go to the toilet in the middle of the night to find myself sitting in the toilet water getting my ass wet because the fucktard I was married to couldn’t be bothered to put the seat down in THIRTY FUCKING YEARS!
  5. I eat healthy foods now ( most of the time) rather than the crap the ex wanted on a regular basis. Thanks to this my cholesterol has gone down over 40 points!
  6. I have purple stripes in my hair!
  7. I dress better. This is because I am with someone who gives a shit! Before I could have worn the sexiest thing on the racks and the ex would never have noticed… or cared. If you aren’t a classic car or a meatball sub you don’t get much attention from him.
  8. I’ve learned a lot about wine. D’Bear is a wine connoisseur and I am building a kick-ass wine cellar now! I love it!
  9. I’ve learned that I can live very cheaply and still be happy. Good thing since my money options have gone to the dogs. I sold my business two years before my marriage went totally to shit and haven’t been able to regain the financial stability I once had. C’est la vie!
  10. I can love again. It’s great! I learned that I am NOT unlovable or so flawed that no one can love me.  D’Bear loves me!

So , yeah, I’ve changed. My ex used to tell me “You’re not the girl I married! You’ve changed!” Well, DUH!! I grew UP! I matured! I evolved!

 Him? Not so much.

11 comments on “Change Is Good

  1. Lovin’ this post! Fucking brilliant…I can hear the enthusiasm in your voice if that makes sense?
    I can relate to so much of this it’s scary…really scary!
    Men have never evolved to a great degree, and that’s not meant as a criticism so much as an onservation, and a general one.
    Most of them think of nothing but their belly and what hangs on the end of it. Feed them and fuck them and they’ll be forever grateful…quite sad in many ways isn’t it?

    anonymum- awww, shucks, girl, THANKS! I don’t know about “most men” since I lived with the same one for over thirty years but THAT one thought that change was terrible. ” I don’t like change. Why can’t things just go back to how they were when we got married?” Ummm, NO! I’m 54 years-old now, not 21! I’m supposed to change!!! HELLLLLOOOOO!!
    Love that “and what hangs on the end of it” line! LMFAO!!!!!

  2. You.are.A W E S O M E! Love it, love it, love it.

    Dizzle- Darling, I am blushing! (((Takes a deep bow))) Coming from you that’s awesome! Thanks SO much!!! 😳

  3. Praise the fucking goddess you’re not the girl who married your ex. You’ve come a long way, baby. 🙂

    anja- you got THAT right!! (I’m craving a Virginia Slims for some reason…)

  4. Change is good and when you love the changes it’s even better. Congrats on reflecting and realizing all your changes for the good.

    Evyl- Thanks! I did not mention the ways in which I’ve changed for the bad but then that’s subjective anyway. Sometimes “bad” can be GOOD! 😈

  5. i love what you’ve shared! and am so happy for you, your new adventures and inspiring attitude.

    Congatulations on the rebirth of Trisha!

    By the way, you so do not seem like a ‘Pat’. Not that there’s anything wrong with Pats. But, you know?

    C- Oh, I’ve never FELT like a “Pat”! It such a ..hmmm, don’t want to insult other Pats here… but well, kinda androgynous in a bad way. Yeah, I KNOW!
    Thanks for all your kind words, C. You da best!

  6. OMG, I do think that as long as we are capable of making a change and evolving to a happy, more centered person- we are way ahead of the game. It’s like, you can “see” yourself. I also, could invision you saying this as I read it and felt your excitement and happiness about your life. I think this is great, I’m so happy for ya! I think I need to go get some pink highlights in mah hair 😉 You’ve inspired me babes!

    JQ- GO. GET. THOSE. PINK. HIGHLIGHTS! Ah’m tellin’ ya, it puts a wiggle in your waggle! 😆

  7. I love the term fucktard I may have to adopt that one lol. I am on the same page as you when I left my ex-husband I found out exactly how strong I really am to be on my own again but with Tooters to take care of. I am so much better off with out him especially now that he is not standing over my should telling me how fat ugly and stupid I am on a daily basis.

    Congrats on being a freak!!!

    sunnymom- I embrace my freakness!! Thank you!!!!! Uh, I am sooo glad you are away from an asshole like your ex who would say such a thing to you. You and Tooters deserve so much better.

  8. AWWWW thanks!!!! We focus on the good and what we have now instead of the past. We are in such a great place now and very very happy about it.

    sunnymom- (((BIG hugs)))

  9. Looks like Trisha is getting all kinds of lovin’ around here. You’re a beautiful person, Trisha. A person would have to be a true fuck tard not to see that. 😈 That D’Bear is one lucky fella. 😉 It’s also great having you posting more regularly once again. :mrgreen:

    Spidey- Thank you, thank you, and oh, THANK YOU! You are such a sweety! I post when I’m home… alone. Keeps me from missing my D’Bear so much. 🙂

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