A recent comment from Dobeman made me start wandering about the way others have seen me this past year or so.
As some of you may know, I am waiting for the final divorce papers to come through any day now. It’s been three and a half years since my ex walked out my door and into his girlfriend’s. I grieved and ranted and stopped functioning for over a year and then I decided that that was bullshit and decided to live again.
I never expected to meet someone so easily. D’Bear and I met July 13th of last year and we’ve been a “couple” ever since. He lives three and a half hours away from me. We each own our own homes. We aren’t planning on changing anything major ’cause this arrangement suits us. We’re two peas in a pod. We are silly and loving and living a life I only dreamed was possible.
What is it about me that has changed these past few years? Hmmm… let’s see.
- I no longer refer to myself as “Pat”, the name I got stuck with when I moved north of the Mason/Dixon Line in 1974. (Previous to that I was known as “Patty”. Gag me.) Now since the ex’s girlfriend is also named “Pat” I use “Trisha” since Patricia is a little too formal for me. I’m not a formal kinda gal.
- I have learned that I am once again still a sexual human being! Yeehaw! Sex is fun!! You just need the right partner!! Who knew?
- I no longer have someone to nag and/or bully into doing things around here. It never worked anyway and it only served to piss me off. Now when the garbage needs to be taken out or the fields need to be mowed or the car needs to be serviced I simply take care of it. I always did anyway. Now I just skip the first step!
- I am no longer afraid to go to the toilet in the middle of the night to find myself sitting in the toilet water getting my ass wet because the fucktard I was married to couldn’t be bothered to put the seat down in THIRTY FUCKING YEARS!
- I eat healthy foods now ( most of the time) rather than the crap the ex wanted on a regular basis. Thanks to this my cholesterol has gone down over 40 points!
- I have purple stripes in my hair!
- I dress better. This is because I am with someone who gives a shit! Before I could have worn the sexiest thing on the racks and the ex would never have noticed… or cared. If you aren’t a classic car or a meatball sub you don’t get much attention from him.
- I’ve learned a lot about wine. D’Bear is a wine connoisseur and I am building a kick-ass wine cellar now! I love it!
- I’ve learned that I can live very cheaply and still be happy. Good thing since my money options have gone to the dogs. I sold my business two years before my marriage went totally to shit and haven’t been able to regain the financial stability I once had. C’est la vie!
- I can love again. It’s great! I learned that I am NOT unlovable or so flawed that no one can love me. D’Bear loves me!
So , yeah, I’ve changed. My ex used to tell me “You’re not the girl I married! You’ve changed!” Well, DUH!! I grew UP! I matured! I evolved!
Him? Not so much.