What Should I Do Wif it?……

  I must be freakin’ old or something. Today I met with a financial adviser, my second one so far. I am trying to be a responsible adult by investing my money wisely for my future. 

 

 My divorce settlement seemed adequate until I actually signed the papers and then my heart started beating too fast. I started waking up with a feeling of dread, that I would end up penniless in my old age.  I began to think I was foolish for not fighting harder for more of our marital assets. But I’m not really much of a fighter that way. Oh, I can fight if I have to, like for my kids, or my friends, but for me, not so much.

 

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( The ex’s girlfriend does NOT look like this. I refer to her (affectionately) as Fiona. )

 

 The new guy I met with today sounded young on the phone but I was not prepared for the reality.  

Calculating the numbers!

  He was young. Baby young. So young that I felt like I should ask him if he’d had a good breakfast. He was so young I was ready to ask him if his daddy was home. WTF? I was considering letting this whelp advise me on how to care for my future? What does he know of future? He probably only shaves every other week!

  He asked a few questions and told me he had already met my ex and “He sure is a nice guy!” (We live in a very small town.) That did it. I am definitely NOT putting my money in the hands of someone so stupid as to say such a thing to a soon-to-be divorcée ! The last thing we want to hear is that our ex is “such a nice man”. NO. He. Is. Not.    He’s a lot of things, but “nice” is not really one of them.

  I think I have two options: ask to speak with his superior and tell him the truth, that I am not comfortable with the ‘Child” or simply walk away and go to the first financial adviser I met with even though I wasn’t completely enamoured of him either. I am not totally ignorant of money matters so I can oversee my funds adequately either way.

  Meanwhile, anyone have any suggestions on how I can make a little money become a LOT of money? Hmmm?

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17 comments on “What Should I Do Wif it?……

  1. I wish I had the secret you seek. If I did I’d be rich… rich beyond my wildest dreams. 😉 Alas that is not the case. 😦 Dang it. Oh well, good luck on your quest. If you find what you’re looking for be sure to let me in on it. 😛

    Ah, Spidey, at least we’ll be blog-friends forever, for richer or poorer, right?

  2. If I only knew. But if you stumble upon the secret, remember that I am available as a boy toy to a rich Sugar Momma.

    OK, Evyl, my sweet li’l boy toy, I will use THAT to fuel some mighty fine fantasies for a while! Grrrrr…..

  3. Here are some ways you can make a little money into more money:

    -wish it on the candles on your next birthday cake.
    -make a wish on the first star of the night.
    -falling stars may work, too.
    -pray really really hard.
    -learn to count cards and head to Vegas.
    -dream it.
    -plant the little bit and hope for a vigorous spring bloom. (One of my nephews tried this with his gameboy, but my sister ruined the experiment by digging it up too soon. 😦 )

    i’m sorry. i’m a butthole.

    c.- You are not now nor have you ever been a butthole. You are my sweet, charming, funny friend! I may actually try some of these suggestions!! Thanks, love!

  4. Hmm. Can you go to a third party? I’d skip the young ‘un because he is too green to know better and can be easily influenced by your ex. And you didn’t feel comfortable with the first guy so you need another one. Go outside of your little town by a few towns if you must. As for the get rich quick scheme, it’s all how you look at it. In a way, you’re already rich – look at all these wonderful blog buddies you’ve got. 🙂

    teeni- you hit the nail on the head! I AM rich with all these great blogger friends. I feel it all the time!
    Thank you for being one of them and for your excellent advice!

  5. I’d try option #3…look for a new person.
    As for getting rich, well, sometimes I win $10 on scratch and win tickets that only cost $2. The return on that is ASTRONOMICAL, you can’t beat that.
    I’d be all over the scratch tickets.

    talea- scratch tickets, eh? Are those the instant lottery tickets they sell at convenience stores? Hey, it can’t hurt…..much! Thanks! 😀

  6. I’m with Teeni, head out of town. Ask around any ‘well-off’ people you know and see who they recommend. It’s your money, your future, you have to feel okay about what is happening to it.

    hay- good advice! I do have a friend who is feelthy reech so maybe I will ask him what to do. Maybe he’ll put me in his will! 😛

  7. …asking him if he had a good breakfast, muah-ha-ha-ha! Good one Trisha! Heee-heeee-heeee! I suck with money so I can offer you only my friendship 😉

    Take it, it’s worth a million 🙂

    JQ- I accept your offer wholeheartedly! It IS worth a million!

  8. Don’t you spend half your time (or more) in another town? Couldn’t you find someone much more experienced and trustworthy there?

    I think asking W is probably a good idea too! I’m have a hunch she knows what to do with money. Good luck!

    Hey, birdpress- yeah, you guessed correctly. My “feelthy reech” friend is W. but the brains behind the money is her hubster, E. so he’s the one to whom I was referring.
    Alas, I know so few people in Rochester whom I would feel are qualified to refer me to someone, I’ll probably make do around here. Me smart. Me not make total fuckup of of my finances….

  9. Hmm… you said “him” that is filthy rich, so now I think I was thinking of the wrong person. How many filthy rich people do you know?! 😉

    birdpress- you would be AMAZED how many filthy rich people I know. Think about it: Tawara, W., Deirdre, Lindes, etc…..I only hobnob with the best, my darling!

  10. Hmmm…’how to make a little money become a LOT of money’….I got nothin’ sista.

    I was thinking of turning NO money into a LOT of money by robbing a bank. But I’d only do it if I knew I wouldn’t get caught. Probably not going to happen.\

    2LD- I used to fantasize about the perfect bank robbery! I actually think I could pull it off! Scary! The only thing is, I’m such a chickenshit! hehehe!!!!

  11. Well, I’ve got .63 cents to my name. I gave my house, my car, and everything else I own to my daughter yet I have everything I want or need. I’m one lucky gal. When I figure out how to turn my .63 cents into more I’ll let you know.

    joan- that’s all I ask of you, my dear friend. If you figure it out puh-leez let me know!!!

  12. Oh my god- your description of your financial adviser (and the photo) is HILARIOUS! That being said, I hope you get rid of the little snot nosed kid, fast.

    Since all I got from my divorce settlement was a chest of drawers and a TV, I can’t really offer advice on finances, but I do hope you’ll go find someone else. Best of luck, and please remember all us little people when you make your fortune!

    moonbeamMcQ- Thanks! Holy sh*t, I feel like a tough beeyotch with my settlement when I heard that all you got was the TV and the chest of drawers! I hardly got his nuts but I feel better now.You is NOT a “little people”! You is BIG friend!!! 😀

  13. I would suggest selling drugs or gambling. Either way you’ll be rich as hell soon. Or lose all your money and have to resort to selling your body to afford the new drug addictions you acquired whilst selling drugs.

    Josh- all great ideas! I like the idea of being rich as hell SOON! (Not so much the broken-down druggy aspect though.)
    Selling this body would probably get me only enough to buy the bullets I’d need to shoot myself in the head…. or maybe rob a bank! That was suggested by another of my brilliant friends!!
    😀

  14. So, I have a “vague” idea of the amount of money you’re talking about here and you DO NOT want to put it in the hands of someone just because they are convenient.

    You’ll drive three hours to see “D” every other week, so don’t you think you should drive an hour into town (the big “S”) and meet with a couple of financial advisors there? I mean, if your gut doesn’t have a good feeling about this other guy…keep looking!

    OK, OK, You two are right!!! Feel better? I just like a lot of gratification if I’m gonna be driving any significant distances! hehehe……
    Yeah, my kids ARE pretty darned astute! (and smart, too!)
    Thanks, Dobeman! You da best!

  15. Let me just iterate (since I hadn’t done it already, it can’t be a “re-iteration”) that I hadn’t seen Birdpress’ comments when I made mine above.

    Sheer genius kids you have here…sheer genius!

    Yep, geniuses, the both of you!! *bowing, waiting for applause* What? It’s MY gene pool that gave you your smarts!!!!

  16. Damn that winky face emoticon.

    It’s supposed to be a closed bracket but it always shows as a winky thing!!

    You don’t like Emoticons? They’re people, too!
    😛 😀 😆 😕 well. you get the idea……

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