I don’t want to go. I really don’t want to go!

 I am getting ready to go to a baby shower for a girl I hardly know because I am friends with her mother. To NOT go would be tantamount to a slap in the face to her. So I am putting on my cutesy little skirt and my (somewhat) demure blouse, wrapping a gift for the baby-to-come, and driving an hour and a half to New Jersey to watch the little Mommy open oodles of unnecessary gifts for hours on end, play childish games and eat crap food.  Fuck.

  Yesterday I worked at the Antiques Shop for the third day in a row for the owners who are good friends of mine. They had to go out of town so I cover for them when they need time off. It happened to be Roots and Rythm weekend in our little town so we were visited by mass quantities of tourists from mostly New Jersey, New York and surprisingly a fair number of Canadians!  I love the Canadians. They are usually polite and complimentary in the shop. The folks from New Jersey and New York….not so much. The are often demanding and say unpleasant or rude things as though I can’t hear them in that little 800 square-feet shop!

 I did well. I smiled. I wrapped items for shipping. I negotiated pricing in a pleasant manner. I never once broke down and said “Will you please take your nasty little undisciplined child and leave this store NOW!!” I thought it but I never said it. I am very proud of myself.

The day before I had five people in the shop who ran my ass ragged. “Can you do better on this price?”, “Can you take that down for me so I can see it better?”, Can you call the owners and ask if they’ll ship this to California?” while their 9-year-old son manhandled delicate Chinese fans and tried to open the pocket knife display. They pretended they had no child. I got the task of saying” I don’t think that’s a good idea to open that, OK?” so the brat didn’t cut himself forcing his litigious parents to sue the pants off my friends for his self-inflicted injury.

They finally left and they went across the street to the coffee shop. I saw them enjoying drinks at a table outside there.

 I started bringing in the stuff from outside getting ready to close up at five minutes to 5:00. As I was bringing in a large bench I saw them rushing across the street and here they came again! They pulled the same shit for another 20 minutes, buying a few small items. What the fuck?  I left forty minutes after closing time.  

 This happens all the time. It’s why I am no longer a retail store owner.

 Now I get to go to New Friggin’ Jersey.

Thanks for letting me vent. I am tired and I don’t want to go…

9 comments on “Grumpy

  1. Aww, sorry, Trisha! I can certainly see why you’d no longer want to be a retail store owner. Nobody needs that kind of inconsiderate customer taking up all their extra time and energy. Sheesh. Well, maybe you will have more fun at the shower than you expect since you are dreading it. I hope you get pleasantly surprised!

    Well, teeni, I can say it was the best baby shower I’ve ever been to. That’s a truly conditional response! It just didn’t suck too terribly! Have fun? No. Feel like putting a bullet in my brain? Again, no! LOL!

  2. Retail is the pits.
    And you sound exactly like me in describing your take on the shower you’re probably currently driving towards. I don’t enjoy things like that and view them in the same way…..but hey, have fun measuring her belly, changing the diaper of a cabbage patch kid and eating finger foods!!
    You have all my sympathies. 😦

    Thanks, talea!! And guess what? No games!! YAY!!!!! I salute whoever organized this dreadful thing for not making me rearrange letters to find baby words or some such nonsense. I love that person!

  3. Oh shit, I hate baby showers. I don’t blame you one bit. What I like to do, especially if I don’t really know the mother-to-be, is to get into my hardcore, competitive “I’m gonna win every one of these stupid games” mode . Ha. There’s nothing like beating out her best friends and being all “Ha, ha, ha, I’m smarter than you”. Even if it is just winning a dang word scramble!

    And regarding customers…I owned a restaurant, ‘nough said. I’ve dealt with every kind of customer imaginable…and the ones that have children but pretend not to…oy…makes me want to slap them up side the head.

    Hey, Trisha, have a lovely day!

    2LD, will you be my partner at the next one of these hateful things? We could kick some baby-shower beyotches ass!!
    You owned a restaurant? I am so sorry…… shit! I only owned a kitchenware shop and taught cooking classes. You have my utmost respect!!

  4. i do not like baby showers.
    i dislike them so that i refused to have one both times i was with child.

    i also do not like retail because more often than not, people are obnoxious.

    Sometimes, i don’t like people. i wish i were a horse or a goose instead of a person.

    When you get there talk about colic, diaper rash, teething and stretch marks the whole time.

    Make it fun for you. 🙂

    c- you can be a goose or a horse if you wanna be. I give you permission! I don’t know about geese but I adore horses!
    Wish I’d had that advice about talking about colic, etc. before I went. That might have been FUN! Thanks, c.!!!

  5. Yes, retail is awful. My hubby comes home everyday with stories of outrageous behaviour from customers….what is up with people these days?
    Hope the baby shower wasn’t too bad. It’s not really a big custom here, most people don’t have one. Should have brought her a box of tissues, for her to sob into when she realises her life is over, lol.

    Hay, I know you’re kidding (I’ve seen the adoration you give your kids) but having a baby certainly changes one’s life in ways unimaginable up until that time. It FEELS like your life is over sometimes! (Wish I’d thought of that box of tissues present!) 😀

  6. I’ve never taken a shower with a baby.

    And I live in New Jersey and work in retail, so I completely sympathize.

    Michael, thank you for the sympathy! And thanks for stopping by! Yeah, retail? The pits! Bless us, everyone….

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