I Was Hungry

I was hungry tonight. Not just in a  “oh, that sounds good” kinda way. I’m  talkin’ an  ” I need FOOD” sorta way.

 I used to think I could easily become a vegetarian. I didn’t care if I had animal flesh or not. Oh, sure, I liked a burger as much as the next person but did I need it ? Nah… Soy burgers with lettuce, tomato, pickles, and mayo were so goooood!!!

  Then I started working weights at the gym. I loved that shit. I was doing 300 lbs. on the leg presses and bench pressing 150 lbs. ! I may be a girl but I could kick your ass!!! I would come home after an hour and a half of cardio and a full ab workout and oh, shit, did I need meat!! I tried Egg Beaters for a while and that was OK, but then I started defrosting fillet mignons and pork cutlets for lunch! I needed the protein!!!  I was doing three one-hour spinning classes a week after  working on arms or abs for the day!! Crazy! But I loved it! I was the local “gym rat”!

 Since then I am a complete and utter carnivore. I crave beef especially.  Burger, you say? Hell, yeah!

 Tonight I was really hungry and I recognized that kind of hunger from my gym days. I had been working outside all day , real physical work, from 8:30 a.m. till 6 p.m. and I was starved! I had leftover Chinese food from the other night so I warmed that up in the microwave. Kung Pao Chicken, leftover rice. I ate it all and was craving more! I found some ice cream in the freezer and there was a brownie leftover from the weekend so  I had a nice brownie a la mode for dessert.

 Now I want to puke. I found a picture that kinda says it all.

 I mean I really wish I could go stick a finger down my throat and regurg this mess I just ate!

 Do you ever get like this: so hungry  you eat  like a crazy person them feel guilty because you ate so much?

 I wish I could have a healthier relationship  with my body and food and my size. I am not fat. I have BEEN fat but I am not fat now.

 I don’t fit a “healthy” BMI  (Body Mass Index) because I seriously carry too much muscle and the BMI doesn’t take that into consideration. I do not fit the profile of ultra-thin model-like waifness. I never have and I know I never will and that’s just fine with me.  The same way I know when my clothes get tight I need to drop a few pounds NOW!

 Tonight I  just feel bloated from all the food I ate. I don’t like that feeling. Do you feel tempted to “get rid of it” when you overindulge?  I won’t purge. I just understand the people who may feel the need to do so now.

 Yuck. I don’t like this feeling of over-fullness! I’m going to go to bed and hope that  when I wake up           I’ll feel normal!



7 comments on “I Was Hungry

  1. Protein is the only thing that fills me up. I have to eat a lot of protein. Nowadays I only eat lean protein. I found ground hamburg that is 96% fat free. 1/4 lb. is only 140 with 4.5 grams of fat. It’s also hormone and antibiotic free and very expensive. but it has less fat than ground turkey. So I can get my beef. I am no Vegan. I have to have protein in the morning to set me up for the day. I don’t do low carb because I also eat a lot of vegetables.

    But I am always a tiny bit hungry. I never stuff myself like I used to. Sometimes I want to but then I know how I would feel. Sick and guilty. I know what you mean about purging. I’ve thought of it but like you I would never do it. But sometimes I want to just eat everything in the house.

    joan- and I feel like I did! I wish my tummy felt better!

  2. I have definitely eaten so much that I’ve felt sick more times than I should have. I think the mechanism that tells me when I’m full is broken sometimes. I am trying to work on that though. And tonight I had a cheeseburger at a steak house. I don’t do that very often at all, but I really did enjoy it. 🙂

    teeni- so nice to know I’m not alone! It’s morning now and I do feel better but aggh! No breakfast for me, thanks!

  3. Yep, have definitely done that and felt like shit afterward. Addicted to food is me.
    But Ive never purged it later .. Im not into wasting food 🙂

    red- it’s better this morning but Holy M.of G., last night was ugly! Yep, definitely a food addict, that’s me. I luvs me some food! (Only not right now :mrgreen: )

  4. I will be pleading the 5th as is my right. Ok, ok, the guilt is tearing me apart. I’ve done it…twice. Both times after eating at my favorite Mexican food restaurant and over indulging way, way, way too much. But believe me, it wasn’t the plan. I’ve eaten their dozens of times without this unhappy ending. But those two times I felt like it might happen on its own anyway, and I just wanted to get it over with, because I was miserable. The moral of this story is: don’t be such a fucking pig you jackass (that was directed at me & no one else). 😐 Wow, I can stand up straight now without the weight of that story on my back. 😉 Oh, and for the curious, everything came out red due to the overwhelmingly large quantity of hot salsa eaten with said meals. 😕 TMI???

    Spidey- Mexican could definitely do that to a person! I absolutely ADORE Mexican food so I know what you mean. You ‘fessed up admirably, Parkour! I’m thrilled to have read the color of said vomit. We didn’t get to hear the details, however, about texture and quantity! (THANK YOU!)
    Love you, you silly man!

  5. The picture, OMG. OMG! I’m sitting here laughing at the picture. That poor fat sumbitch! 🙂

    I’m a fattie, so I’m not pointing fingers, just the tshirt is too much! I need one of those tshirts!

    Yeah, been there-done that. I wish I were a gym rat. I never have been. They say once you start to exercise (I wouldn’t know about that) you actually learn to love it, or do love it. I never got that far. I hate to exercise (unless it’s in bed) *wink* I need to get my ass moving.

    And, the guilt after said pig out, that hurts more than the stomach in my opinion. 😦

    I love ya anyway! If I were there, I would have stuck my finger down your throat and gagged you- then, I would’a held your hair back while you prayed to the porcelain god. Cuz, that’s how I roll mama!

    JQ- I love you, girl! You would do that for ME?
    Yeah, I feel guilty about last night’s binge. I hate that, too! I always said “Food is not a moral issue unless you’re depriving someone hungry of it.” (Me, pontificating to my cooking-class students on the use of butter! Mass quantities of butter, Ask
    birdpress, She’ll fill you in!)

  6. Oh crap! That picture of the fat guy cracked me up!!

    Yeah, that whole BMI thing is an utter waste of time for people who lift weights. Maybe if all you do is aerobics, then you can apply it, but when you start adding lean muscle mass to an “under 6 foot” frame, you can kiss the measurements goodbye.

    Which is why I rarely weigh myself. If I can jump up and down and not see the outline of my abs in the mirror (see, as the fat moves around, you can see What Lies Beneath!), then I know I need to back away from the PopTarts!

    Oh, and sorry to pull you outta bed last night. You could have waited till today to answer the Meme!

    Hey, dobeman- don’t worry about keeping me up last night. That was just me whining! I did it last night because I had to WORK today. YES! I said “work”. SHUT UP!
    I refuse to jump up and down to determine whether I need to lose weight. That would only depress me and scare the birds away. LMFAO!

  7. Oh, I hate that bloated feeling! I’m sure we all have been there. I haven’t felt that way in a long time though because I hate that feeling of being over-full, especially when I can SEE it in my tummy. J sometimes tries to get me to eat more and I refuse, knowing I will feel too full. You know how when you get used to eating smaller amounts your stomach capacity shrinks? Actually that may be why what you ate hurt so much because you DON’T eat like that very often!

    I admit I have tried to purge when I was younger but I could never get that crap up and I just hurt myself. My roommates in college did that and I was actually jealous, but then saw how awful it was and was glad I couldn’t do it. When I was eating disordered I would occasionallly give in to cravings and then feel SO guilty I wouldn’t eat anything for a few days and I would exercise like a maniac. (Exercise bulimia?) I’m so glad I don’t worry so much now. How stupid was I, really, you know?

    Parkour, didn’t that HURT puking up spicy food? I’d imagine it would burn! 😯

    birdpress- I had a food baby! 😀 I think you’re right about why my tummy hurt so bad. I can’t eat much anymore. Well, not at one sitting anyway.
    And you weren’t stupid. Your sorority sisters on the other hand….not so bright.

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