I was hungry tonight. Not just in a “oh, that sounds good” kinda way. I’m talkin’ an ” I need FOOD” sorta way.
I used to think I could easily become a vegetarian. I didn’t care if I had animal flesh or not. Oh, sure, I liked a burger as much as the next person but did I need it ? Nah… Soy burgers with lettuce, tomato, pickles, and mayo were so goooood!!!
Then I started working weights at the gym. I loved that shit. I was doing 300 lbs. on the leg presses and bench pressing 150 lbs. ! I may be a girl but I could kick your ass!!! I would come home after an hour and a half of cardio and a full ab workout and oh, shit, did I need meat!! I tried Egg Beaters for a while and that was OK, but then I started defrosting fillet mignons and pork cutlets for lunch! I needed the protein!!! I was doing three one-hour spinning classes a week after working on arms or abs for the day!! Crazy! But I loved it! I was the local “gym rat”!
Since then I am a complete and utter carnivore. I crave beef especially. Burger, you say? Hell, yeah!
Tonight I was really hungry and I recognized that kind of hunger from my gym days. I had been working outside all day , real physical work, from 8:30 a.m. till 6 p.m. and I was starved! I had leftover Chinese food from the other night so I warmed that up in the microwave. Kung Pao Chicken, leftover rice. I ate it all and was craving more! I found some ice cream in the freezer and there was a brownie leftover from the weekend so I had a nice brownie a la mode for dessert.
I mean I really wish I could go stick a finger down my throat and regurg this mess I just ate!
Do you ever get like this: so hungry you eat like a crazy person them feel guilty because you ate so much?
I wish I could have a healthier relationship with my body and food and my size. I am not fat. I have BEEN fat but I am not fat now.
I don’t fit a “healthy” BMI (Body Mass Index) because I seriously carry too much muscle and the BMI doesn’t take that into consideration. I do not fit the profile of ultra-thin model-like waifness. I never have and I know I never will and that’s just fine with me. The same way I know when my clothes get tight I need to drop a few pounds NOW!
Tonight I just feel bloated from all the food I ate. I don’t like that feeling. Do you feel tempted to “get rid of it” when you overindulge? I won’t purge. I just understand the people who may feel the need to do so now.
Yuck. I don’t like this feeling of over-fullness! I’m going to go to bed and hope that when I wake up I’ll feel normal!