Looking Back on a Year

  Next month will be the one year anniversary of the day D. and I actually, physically met

It was July 13th, a Friday. I was terrified.

 I first started getting to know him when I stumbled upon a free dating site. It was based in Canada and most of the people there were from Canada with a few upstate New Yorkers thrown in the mix. I had been separated from my husband for two years and I hadn’t even wanted to think about dating. My husband,from here on to be referred to as the STBE(soon-to-be-ex), on the other hand had moved in with his “girlfriend” less than three months after he left. I thought I never wanted to have to deal with a man in a relationship again. It was that painful. But by the end of two whole years of watching all my married friends be their cozy couple selves I was feeling more than a little lonely.

 So I picked a fake name, wrote a brief, honest bio on the site and waited. I was shocked at the number of hits I got immediately! A week or two into learning the ropes on a dating site I got a message from a guy who referred to himself as “dabear”. We had a lot in common and we hit it off right away.

  After chatting online for a couple of weeks he asked if he could call me on the phone and I hesitatingly gave him my number. I thought that might be a bit stupid of me but I did it anyway. He called the next night at 8 o’clock and we began a ritual of phone conversations that lasted for 2 to 3 hours every night. We talked about everything and I found that a man could actually hold an intelligent conversation !! Wow! It was an epiphany!

  He and I soon realized we wanted to meet in person but he lived three and a half hours away and so getting together for coffee was kinda out of the question. He suggested we meet in Ithaca which is roughly haflway between us.

  I had a huge dilemma. Should I put  this 53-year-old body of mine in the car and drive north and risk being a huge disappoinment to a man I liked very much or do I deny the fact that if this was ever going to go somewhere we needed to know!  I never even considered that maybe I wouldn’t like him when I saw him.

  Reluctantly and fearfully I agreed to meet him the following weekend. He mapped out my route and we booked rooms at a hotel there.

  I cannot describe how terrified I was.  My self-esteem was really low. I felt that he would take one look at me and think he’d made a huge mistake even though I had honestly described myself to him. I don’t know how I found the courage to get in that car but somehow I did.

 It was July 13th, a Friday. Friday the Freakin’ Thirteenth!! Not a good omen, I’m thinking as I started out on the drive. I’m in the car driving to meet a man called “dabear” (I knew his real name by then of course!) What do I know about this guy? Umm, he loves bears! He collects them. He’s divorced for the past 6 years. He is a Software Engineer. He owns his own home. He has no kids. He likes to hike and loves wine. I had learned a bunch of facts and feelings as we had talked all those many long nights on the phone.  I already was halfway in love with him!

  As I was driving my little Subaru along the Delaware River there were almost no vehicles on the road to distract me from my thoughts so when I saw several motorcycles headed towards me in the opposite lane I payed attention. Just as I could see the first rider clearly a black bear came running out of the tree line on my side of the road, crossed in front of me and ran right smack into that  first motorcyclist! The driver layed that  big bike down and slid for many,  many yards and came to a complete stop exactly next to my car. I had hit the brakes hard because I didn’t want to hit either him or the bear!  The riders behind him all came up to us within seconds and as I put my window down and opened my door, I could hear the injured rider moaning. His friends shouted to me , asking if I had a cell phone and I told them I did. They asked me to call 911 but I couldn’t get a signal!  That happens often along these rural roadways with the mountains and valleys blocking reception. I told him I would drive a ways down the road and find a way to either use my phone or find a house and ask someone to call for me.  I got about two miles north and my cell phone became functional again so I called the emergency number and gave them the information.

 By then I started to shake. I realized I could easily have been the one to hit that bear and perhaps lose control of my car and end up nose-first down the riverbank! I felt terrible to have had to witness that poor man’s accident and injury! The bear, by the way, scampered away, seemingly unharmed. He disappeared into the woods on the opposite side of the road. I could see him climbing the ridge right above the road for a while.

 As I was driving I was thinking “Trisha, you are crazy! It’s Friday the 13th and you’ve just seen a bear almost kill a man! Don’t you think it’s an omen, you dumb bitch? ‘dabear’…DUH!!”

 I swear I almost turned that car around several times and went home but I didn’t. I drove on to Ithaca and the moment I saw him in the lobby of that hotel my heart skipped a beat. He saw me and smiled. It was a warm and wonderful smile and as I came closer I put my hand out to him and he took my hand and pulled me to him and right in that lobby in front of a dozen other guests  he gave me the most romantic kiss I have ever had in my life. It was perfect.

 For two days we got to know one another more and more. We went off touring the wineries around the Finger Lakes, stopping for meals at little cafes and restaurants, talking, always talking! And kissing. The days were good.  The last night there was even better.  Hmmmm…..

  I can’t believe how lucky I am to have found this man. Lucky Friday the 13th!



I happen to love Sowa’s print of the Little Girl and the Bear. I have had a copy of it for a long time. When D. saw it he said it was us. He’s so right. It has that feeling…..

13 comments on “Looking Back on a Year

  1. Oh wow, that is just so romantical, Trisha. You lucky girl, you! Im so glad it turned out to be a good day for you!

    Red- I lived for so long without romance that it sure feels good now! Thanks!

  2. Sounds like you have a blockbuster on your hands, or at least a movie of the week. That was a (Trisha) truly sweet, loving, amazing and like Red said, romantic (al) story. That was just too cool. I would honestly submit that story as a movie idea. Who knows, maybe you two could both retire and live happily ever after off of the royalty checks. 😀

    Spidey- Wow! Ya think? I could sure use the money! LOL
    Trisha truly appreciates your nice words, my friend!

  3. Thank god for the internets! 😉

    You know, Friday the 13ths have been lucky for me too. The bear thing is pretty cool. I like that painting too, and it does fit you guys.

    birdpress- have you seen any other Sowa paintings? You’d really like them!!! Bizarre and humorous!! Hmmm, yeah, my kinda art!

  4. I’m a scaredy cat…I would have turned around. But I’m so glad for you that you didn’t! It’s nice to read about good things that happen to good people!

    cowgalutah- It was a good thing! I almost chickened out but I figured what the heck! Nothing ventured, ya know! Yay, me!! Sometimes things turn out better than we expect. Not often but sometimes.

  5. Oooo…that gave me the chills. As soon as you wrote “black bear” I was yelling “It’s a sign, it’s a sign!”

    At this very moment I am smitten with someone who lives on the opposite side of the US of A from me. *sigh* But…your story gives me hope. Thanks, girl! I’m so glad things have worked out for you!!

    Oh, I so hope you and your love can find a way to overcome the distance! I believe where there’s a will there’s a way! Never give up hope!!! Wishing you all the best!

  6. WOW!! It made me teary it was so beautiful. It was like reading a chapter from a book. A good book!! Thank goodness you didn’t turn around and go back home.

    joan- sometimes doesn’t it feel like you’ve turned a page and a new chapter begins? This is a happy-ending kinda story. I haven’t had too many of those in my life so I value this one!

  7. What a great story. I am glad that the omens proved wrong. After all the horror stories of net romances it is good to hear a happy one.

    Evyl- that’s exactly why I was so scared as I took that first ride north to meet him. I’d heard far too many horror stories and very few happy endings but this time it turned out to be wonderful. Thanks, love!

  8. I agree with the comments. This would make a fantastic movie. It is a sign… A sign that you and D are so right for each other.

    betme- strangely enough some of our friends think we even look a lot alike! That’s kinda creepy but I guess I see it. We are sooo much in tune with one another!

  9. This way, you’ll never forget how you met!
    i think it is the most interesting story i’ve ever heard.

    Congratulations on the happy!

    Thank you, c ! Glad you found it interesting. It was certainly weird!

  10. OMFG!

    That is a suitably F-ed up story.

    I approve


    My interpretation is this. The bear took the karmic hit for you, taking your bad relationship mojo away. He did this as a spirit animal sent on a call through the ethers, through the unknowing wishes of DaBear.

    (Can I spin some BS or what 😉

    Oh, Gadfly, no one spins better BS than you! That’s why I love ya! I like that answer about the bear taking our Karmic hit! Kisses!!

  11. What a story Trisha! Trisha and daBear! Gosh, I’m sitn’ here all, “Awwwww!” The best part is when ya saw each other in the hotel lobby, smiling, and THE KISS. It was sealed with a kiss. How romantical!
    Yes, I said ROMANTICAL! *freakish moment, just went up and read some comments and see that Red used the same word to describe- jeez, Red, wth? What is it with us. We may share a brain sista! Anywho, back to being romantical, this made me teary in a good way! I’m happy for you Trisha and D. Love the painting too- how bizarre that you had it already!

  12. I can’t think of a more romantic place than the Finger Lakes – how pretty! What an ordeal though – I’m sorry you had to witness that accident but also very glad you were there as the bikers obviously didn’t have a cell phone. I hope that biker recovered. It was cool to read how you met!

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