The Cleaning Lady

  I’m ready to call it a day.

    On Thursdays I usually clean my oldest daughter’s house. Not because I’m such a good mom (although I am ) but  because she said a few months ago that she wanted to hire a housekeeper. My ears perked up at that!!  What? I can do that!  Who keeps the cleanest house around? Who can you trust more than yo’ mama? I could sure use the money!!  Me! Hire me!!!

   She was happy to agree but asked that I not mention it to our family and friends that “Mom” was cleaning her house. She was a bit embarrassed!! Not me! I couldn’t care less if people know I clean her house. I am not ashamed of it. Why would I be? I have always said that any job has dignity if it’s done with dignity.

   We agreed to the going rate which ain’t bad, folks. Not plumbers’ rates but still, not bad. And Lord knows I could use the money. STBE (Soon-to-be-Ex) is not exactly playing fair with the marital assets so cash is king (or should I say Queen) with me right now.

                          I like to think of myself as the cute French maid.


      But I am more like Dobbie the house elf.

 I was at her house at 7:30 this morning with my cleaning supplies in hand. Shelby, their dog, is a short white log of a dog, somewhere between West Highland Terrier and sausage link. She loves me. I give her great drool-inducing back scratches… and treats occasionally.  Shelby barks at me when I put my key in the door but goes into  “back-scratch whore” mode as soon as I walk in. It’s nice to feel wanted.

  I start upstairs usually. It’s a big house so I start with the upstairs master bath and bedroom and work my way downstairs. It usually takes me between 4-6 hours to do a good thorough job. I don’t take breaks except to pee.

  Today I got the major portion of laundry done, cleaned all three bedrooms, two full baths, laundry room, and hallway and started on the downstairs vacuuming as I went. The most challenging thing today was cleaning out the Diaper Genie. Holy shit! That thing weighed about 30 lb. and when I opened it to remove the bag filled with soiled diapers the stink almost knocked me over. It was weird. I had never emptied it before. The diapers go in the top and then you twist the this thing on the top and it seals the dirty poop rag so the odor is trapped. Yeah, till someone tries to take it out!! When I remove the bag from the device the diapers were sealed in sections in this plastic bag. It looked like very nasty sausage links!!

    I had just gotten the front entrance way vacuumed when the electricity went off.

    I waited a minute or two to see if it would come back on but no; it stayed dead. OK, what to do. I really wanted to get this done, get payed and then spend the remainder of time before the weekend preparing for D.’s arrival on Friday night.

    I decided to use that archaic tool, the broom! It worked great except on the carpet, of course. I was able then to mop the downstairs and except for cleaning the hall bath in total darkness I think I did a pretty good job. Done and home!!

     I got home anticipating lunch and a shower and then realized I couldn’t nuke the soup I had planned on eating for lunch. Plan B. : cottage cheese and fresh salsa!! Yum! God, I’d kill for a cup of coffee now! No can do, you fool!

     I always think of myself as an independent sort of woman but every time the electricity goes out I remember just how dependent I am on it.  Living in the country I have a well, so no water without an electric pump to bring it in. No microwave. No lights. NO …ah… OMG… NO COMPUTER!!!! AGGHHHH!! What will I do? How will I survive the afternoon???

   Luckily the power came back on shortly after 1:00 so I got my shower after all. The rest of my day was spent grocery shopping and cleaning my own house. Tonight D. said, in anticipation of his arrival: ” don’t fuss!”   Well, duh! I already did!!!!!! I got his skim milk, his Rose’s Lime Juice, his English Muffins and his Diet Coke. I baked yummy brownies.  I cleaned the shower. I changed the sheets. I even spritzed them with linen spray so they smell nice.

   Lord, I’m tired.

   It’s already 11:30 so I should get some sleep. I can barely stand the wait till I see him tomorrow night. I’m so excited.

                                I’m thinking a skirt, thigh high stockings and my bad-girl shoes…….




23 comments on “The Cleaning Lady

  1. Love the pics. Dobbie is way cuter than that French maid, and obviously does a much better job too! Besides, you should save the maid outfit for when D comes over.

    I still don’t think Shelby has any Westie in her. Lhasa, likely, and possibly Maltese. She looks to me kinda like a small white Lhasa that maybe swallowed a Westie.

    Anyway, I hope she appreciates your resourcefulness in getting that big ol’ house clean without electricity! Sounds like the house cleaning rates up there are higher than the babysitting rates. 😉

    “She looks to me kinda like a small white Lhasa that maybe swallowed a Westie.” ROFL !!!! SHE DOES!
    I bow to your authority as to her lineage! 🙂
    oo la la, zee French maid costume will definitely make monsieur tres happy!!
    Yep, the $$$ are way better than babysitting, especially around this neighborhood!

  2. Wow – I didn’t know you could get someone to do your laundry too. I’m not sure I would want anyone doing my laundry though. I guess if it were my mom that would be okay. 😉 Sounds like you have some excitement planned for tonight so I hope you have a wonderful time!

    I do the laundry because I can (the machine does the hard work! 😛 ) and it really helps her out. I don’t know if “regular” housekeepers do laundry or not. Also I never find money, no nothin’! Blahhhhhhhh
    I’m so tired from working outside I’m afraid I’m going to fall asleep before he gets here!!

  3. Mmmmmmh, I love bad girl shoes up to the point when I have to walk in them. “You want me to what? Walk from the parking garage to the restaurant in those??? Nu Uhh!!” 🙂 Have a wonderful time.

    Oh, SLF, doncha know you’re not supposed to WALK in bad girl shoes!!! If you have to walk in them, then they’re not really bad girl shoes…hehehehe

  4. See, shouldn’t have gotten rid of that fantastic Viking Gas Stove!

    Could have had your hot soup then.

    That’s funny. I guess because of the whole “Mom” thing you couldn’t address the last line !! 😛
    Yeah, the Viking woulda been nice right about then… I almost starved!!!

  5. Hahahaha…dirty diaper sausage links. That sure beats the cloth diaper system that I used because I’m all ‘green’ and such. Gag.

    Oooo…I love those shoes…I want them! I’d never wear them, though. I don’t need to add any height to my already Amazon-woman-stature.

    Have a wonderful Memorial Day weekend!

    Thanks! You, too!
    I’m barely 5’2″ (almost) so the higher the heel the better. I’m so jealous of women like you who actually have legs! Mine are more stump-like! I have to dress to “elongate’. Hahaha!!!

  6. There are some things, that even after reading them, my mind fails to process…or so that’s what I’m telling myself is the reason I didn’t respond about the last line.

    But I do agree with your comment about not walking in the shoes. I mean, does anyone really “linger” in lingerie? (snort!) Not hardly!

    And…Shelby doesn’t much care for me. The whole time I was working out down in the basement, she was up there raisin’ hell! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUUUUUUUT UUUUUP!

    Don’t do anything tonight that I wouldn’t do…twice.

    Good one, Dobeman,..”linger in lingerie”…. 😀
    As for Shelby, don’t take it the wrong way. She seldom takes to men easily. But I agree. When she gets to yapping I want to scream, too!!!!

  7. Cottage Cheese and Salsa? And people say that I have a cast iron gut. That just sounds wrong. But a French Maid Outfit and bad-girl shoes. Now that’s all right.

    I know it sounds weird, cottage cheese and salsa but birdpress taught me some yummy combos- cottage cheese and cocoa is her fave. Hey, don’t knock it till ya diet! hehehehe

  8. I get to clean my daughter’s house daily. Well, I do live with her. I do her laundry, cooking and errands only I don’t get paid instead I pay her all of my disability money. But I wouldn’t change a thing about it except maybe sabotage her birth control so I can have that grandchild I want. Don’t worry, I’m only kidding. I would never do that, would I? 🙂

    I don’t know, Joan, desperate times call for desperate measures……no, that’s not right….. 😉

  9. Aww, happy weekend. You are a fab mother, payment of not. There aren’t many trustworthy housekeepers that would work that hard!

    Thanks Hay!! Does NZ have a Memorial Day?

  10. Wow – you sound like a fantastic employee! So much better to have your mom in the house than a bunch of strangers. As for losing the electricity when you have a well — worst of all — no ability to flush ACK!

    You are so right but in the winter the only consolation is using snow, IF you have a heat source AND there’s enough snow! Yep, ACK!!!

  11. You go girl! Rock his world! Although, I will never know where you got the energy after cleaning one house, shopping, and cleaning your own, I would have been out like a light after that 😉 GOOD FOR YOU!

    I rocked his world!!! He rocked mine!! It’s a good weekend! 😉

  12. I am very much planning on getting a generator out here at some point. I hate being dependent on infrastructure that can be knocked out for lord knows how long

  13. I saw one at a garage sale yesterday. Problem was, it was only big enough to run a toaster….maybe! I , too, am going to have to get one. Our rural area loses power far too regularly and the numbers, in population, being small, we’re low priority with PPL.

  14. BTW, I hope you have been charmingly wined and dined and entertained … and repeatedly sexually mauled 😀

    Gadfly- all I can say is 😀

  15. Thigh-highs are the way to go!!!
    I clean my mom’s house. Pay is good, and I dont have to drive to the job!

    OMG, Red, we have more in common than I ever realized!! Holey Moley! Me, too! My daughter lives across the street from me!!!

  16. I could have swore that I commented on this last week. I must be losing my mind????

    Anyhoooo… Just checking back in to see if you had a great weekend with D.

    Hey, betme, yeah, D. and I had a VERY VERY nice long holiday weekend. Too bad it’s over cause now it’s back to the real world….. 😦

  17. Your STBE sounds like an ass! Sorry you have to subjected to his petty antics…

    Thanks CBS, everyone has some sh*t in their lives. He is mine! Hoping it will all be done with soon…

  18. LOL I am more Dobby too -only a French maid in my dreams.(maybe his too)
    I would love to pay my mum to clean my house – the trust factor and cause I know she wouldn’t tell anyone what slobs we are.
    Love those shoes.

    Trish- TJMAXX has great bad-girl shoes at incredible prices! You can be a French Maid if you want. The feather duster is the clincher!! LOL
    Even Dobby has fantasies!!!! hehehe

  19. “I like to think of myself as the cute French maid.”

    :mrgreen: Me too. 😉

    Sorry I haven’t been around. I’ve been suffering from technical difficulties.

    Spidey- glad to see you back again! Hope the technical difficulties are cleared up!
    (You as a French maid? Hmmmm…. maybe. More likely you could be the English Stable Boy?)

  20. I like your comment about being a maid – I have to wear maids uniforms a few days a month for photos. After makeup, anyone can look really nice!


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s