Leaf It Up To Me

  Last week, for reasons unknown to me, a huge maple tree branch detached itself from the tree right next to my garage and fell into the driveway. It is huge. It blocks one entire bay of the garage and had it gone a foot more to the right I wouldn’t have been able to get my car out of the garage at all! Since it’s green it is very heavy. I’m pretty strong for a 54-year-old 5’1″ woman but I couldn’t budge it!

Since it fell last Wednesday night I figured someone would see it and offer some assistance getting the darned thing cut up by, oh, the weekend?  I live on a main road. All my STBE’s (Soon-to-be-Ex) friends and employees drive past my house on a regular basis. Half of them hunt on my property. Many of them store vehicles in our machine shed. Some of them are semi-retired with time on their hands.  Not one of them offered me any help.

 I HATE being dependent on others. It is a true character flaw that I am totally incapable of asking for things I need. I occasionally will ask my daughter for something but only in rare cases. Usually not, however. When I had carpal tunnel surgery a couple of years ago, I had a huge load of wood delivered. It was dumped in front of my woodshed. I stacked it all myself. With my hand in a cast to the elbow. I painted the stable two years ago, dragging and lifting an 18-foot extension ladder from one building to the other and setting it up myself. I climbed up and down that damned ladder for a week a half with a paint roller till the job was done. No one helped. No one offered.

 I am proud of this!  I like being independent. It makes me feel strong and good about myself. If I can do a job I do it. I mow all the fields. I fix and repair most all the things needed around this old place. Not a problem. But once in a while something like this comes along and I am stumped ( ha! a pun!)

 I don’t have a chain saw. The danged thing is too heavy to drag down to the wood line. I could probably cut it up with my hand saw but sheesh! That would be nuts!

I so want to put a sign up on the road that reads “Thanks, all you big , strong men, for all your help in cutting up this tree limb! I’ll be sure to lend YOU a hand some day!”

 I hate feeling needy.                                           



12 comments on “Leaf It Up To Me

  1. All those guys around and no one offered you help? Maybe you could ask your other daughter. (If I lived closer you know I’d be there!)

    Maybe you could manage to pull it just a little ways… isn’t it only 20 feet or so to the middle of the road? I bet if if you could get it that far the rest would take care of itself. 😉

    ooo- I love this idea! If I use Evyl’s suggestion (see below) and get the Kyoti tractor over here I could do this!! I am thinking Bethany is probably too far though, right birdpress? That bridge would be a bitch! 😉

  2. Hook a chain to it and drag it to one of those assholes driveway.

    Evyl, you and birdpress are onto sumpin’!! I’m thinking I can DO this!! Heck, I’ve driven tractors before (had to pull the lawnmower outa the muck more than once!) so this shouldn’t be any harder!

  3. Was the tree close enough to the street to be called “city property”? If so, call the city and see if they’ll take care of it. It’s worth a shot. That’s what my family had to do when we had a tree we needed removed.

    Angela, I don’t live anywhere near a city. My “township” doesn’t own this road either. It’s state owned and D.O.T. couldn’t give a fig what happened in my driveway. LOL!!! Thanks for the advice though. It might have worked!! 🙂

  4. What a bunch of Putzes. OK, here is what ya do.

    Go thru the kids old toys and find anything with wheels; rollerskates, skateboards, wagons etc.

    Get them under the bulk of the branch and push that puppy into the middle of the street. Giving just enough room for YOU to get in and out of your driveway.

    I can see you going up and down the ladder painting… I would do the same.

    OMG, you are funny! “What a bunch of Putzes” Yep!! You know the Putz family? They’re from around these parts, I hear.

    LOL I wish I had me some wheelies or skateboards so I could do this. I’m not sure that that would be easier than chopping it up with a dull steak knife, but thanks for the suggestion!! 😛

  5. OK
    Focusing my mind on the limb…
    cutting it into peices with my razor sharp wit…
    pulling peice away with my brute brain power…
    cutting another piece…
    My wit got stuck in a pinch when the branch was shifting.
    could you pull that out for me when you get home?
    I might need it.

    Ozy, yes!!! Your wit is now freed from the branch, only a little worse for wear. Does it hurt? I see some swelling there on one of the limbs…..uh,.. no, never mind,… that’s not a limb and the swelling is kinda turning me on. (she whistles…)
    Love ya! 😉

  6. i understand the need to be indpendent but c’mon woman! i can see through the internets that that piece of tree is heavy and you need help.

    Would you feel better if you offered to pay someone to cut it up and haul it? Buy ’em a six pack or something? That usually works with the menfolk i know.

    I would love to have that kind of money but alas, I am poor at the moment. Well, I might be able to scrounge up money for a six-pack but that’s about it! Unfortunately there’s no one I know who would do it for that. I am going to be forced to ….yes,… wait for it… wait for it…… ask for help !!! Agggh!!
    Could you send your menfolk over here maybe? :O

  7. I just wrote a whole thing about your tree branch and being independent and some error message occurred and it didn’t go through. I had some profound stuff written ( Yea Right!). I’ll just say I hope it gets moved somehow. I’ve got no ideas. I’m lucky I live with my daughter and her hubby and they take care of that kind of crap for me and I don’t even have to ask. I know Birdpress would be right there if she lived close by.

    Sweet Joan, I’m sure it was profound and morally uplifting and I am only sorry that the danged inter-web thingy messed up your message but this one is pretty good, too!
    Yep, birdpress would definitely be right here if she didn’t live like a few hundred miles from me. She IS a good girl!

  8. That stinks! Want me to drive over and help ya?

    I had a huge dead branch fall in my back yard this winter – right in front of my picket fence gate. I couldn’t move it – it was huge, plus, like you I have no chain saw. I just broke off branch after branch until it was less heavy and managed to drag it off to the side. Ummm…not sure you can do that with a green branch. I’m picturing you standing in your driveway for days breaking twig after twig off that monster. Heehee…sorry, I’m no help!

    I wish there were more women like us nearby me. We could form a society of independent women who help each other (oxymoron, that.) 😛
    I wonder how long it would take me to snip that sucker up enough to move it.I do have tools. They’re just puny for that size of a job.
    You ARE a help. just by being supportive! Thanks!

  9. Rope it and drag it .. or bribe a feller or two with a 6pack.
    Independent women fucking rock, but sometimes you gotta ask.

    Right you are, Red! I may need to buy a keg for this one. Well….. any excuse for a party! lol

  10. I say pour some gas on it, set it ablaze and roast some marshmallows. 😛

    oooo, Spidey!! If it wasn’t so darned green that would be a BRILLIANT idea. “Course I’d probably lose the garage, too, but hey! That would solve the problem of the branch!! 🙂

  11. ok, it took me all night to get caught up on posts, i just got to the “T’s” in my reader; which is YOU baby and realized my boss will be here any minute -DOH! I will be back tonight after 11pm seeing what you’ve been up to! Also, gonna have to change your name to “A Talking Trash with Trisha” so you are at the beginning of my reader girlie 😉
    Love Love

    Anne, my friend, my late-night-readin’ pal, you make me smile! Maybe the name should be “A Trash-Talkin’ Trisha”! 🙂
    Don’t work too hard!!
    Love & hugs!

  12. Oh Lawdy, I’m back – midnight here… yes, the night owl. “Work’n for a living, WORK’n!” The comments on this post are fun! If I lived near you, and you had carpal tunnel surgery w/ a cast up to your elbow and I found out or saw you stacking firewood- I would have ripped off your arm and beat your ass with the cast – ARE YOU CRAZY WOMAN??!!! I’d do it out of love though, then, I’d stick your bloody stump back on, and stack the wood for you, cuz that’s how I roll….
    I’m very protective of my peeps!

    GAWD, JQ!!! Tha’s why I luvs me sum Queen o’ Java!!! You scare the crap right the heck out of me but you ROCK!!

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