Sometimes the best intentions go awry.
Last evening I was worried that the rain and chill would be harmful to my new little dove friend so I brought the cage inside and covered it with an old tablecloth like we used to do for the kids’ parakeet at night. It was doing well, I thought. There was evidence that it had tried eating since there was birdseed scattered about the floor of the cage and some bird poop there as well indicating it was “evacuating” in a healthy way. All good.
I said good night to the pretty white dove and went to bed anticipating seeing it well and happy in the morning. Alas, it must have been sicker than I thought or injured in some way I didn’t realize.
When I came downstairs this morning I called out a “good morning, little bird!” and pulled the cover off the cage and I saw he was dead.
I never really used to get emotional about some animals deaths. My dogs, yes! Definitely. Some of the cats but not the barn cats since that was the natural order of things there. Cattle came and went as did some other farm animals and you learn not to get emotionally attached. You can’t as it is a business as well as a lifestyle. Too much involvement would make you nuts.
Yesterday was a really bad day up until I found the pretty white dove. I drove the three hours home from D.’s house in Rochester after spending an entire week with him to come home to take care of all the details of my other life, the one where I take care of this big old farm and am going through a divorce. I hate leaving him. I feel so alone when I walk into that cold, empty house of mine.
Later that day my STBE (Soon-to-be-Ex) got in a yelling match with me in the parking lot of our building in town when he informed me that he was reneging on our agreement regarding some of the financial arrangements we’d made. I told him I’d had enough and would see him in court. Actually I yelled that at him as I spun the tires out of the parking lot in my Subaru (NOT an easy thing to do with an 8-year-old Forester!)
I went home feeling like sh*t and that’s when I found my little dove. Holding that dove felt good and nurturing and I liked that .
I am sad.
I guess it wasn’t my good luck sign. It wasn’t good luck for the bird, that’s for sure. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to care for it at all since so much sucks in my life right now.