Death of a Dove

Sometimes the best intentions go awry.

   Last evening I was worried that the rain and chill would be harmful to my new little dove friend so I brought the cage inside and covered it with an old tablecloth like we used to do for the kids’ parakeet at night. It was doing well, I thought. There was evidence that it had tried eating since there was birdseed scattered about the floor of the cage and some bird poop there as well indicating it was “evacuating” in a healthy way. All good.

  I said good night to the pretty white dove and went to bed anticipating seeing it well and happy in the morning. Alas, it must have been sicker than I thought or injured in some way I didn’t realize.

 When I came downstairs this morning I called out a “good morning, little bird!” and pulled the cover off the cage and I saw he was dead.

  I never really used to get emotional about some animals deaths. My dogs, yes! Definitely. Some of the cats but not the barn cats since that was the natural order of things there. Cattle came and went as did some other farm animals and you learn not to get emotionally attached. You can’t as it is a business as well as a lifestyle. Too much involvement would make you nuts.

  Yesterday was a really bad day up until I found the pretty white dove. I drove the three hours home from D.’s house in Rochester after spending an entire week with him to come home to take care of all the details of my other life, the one where I take care of this big old farm and am going through a divorce.  I hate leaving him. I feel so alone when I walk into that cold, empty house of mine.

  Later that day my STBE (Soon-to-be-Ex) got in a yelling match with me in the parking lot of our building in town when he informed me that he was reneging on our agreement regarding some of the financial arrangements we’d made. I told him I’d had enough and would see him in court. Actually I yelled that at him as I spun the tires out of the parking lot in my Subaru (NOT an easy thing to do with an 8-year-old Forester!)

  I went home feeling like sh*t and that’s when I found my little dove. Holding that dove felt good and nurturing and I liked that .

  I am sad.

 I guess it wasn’t my good luck sign. It wasn’t good luck for the bird, that’s for sure. Maybe I shouldn’t have tried to care for it at all  since so much sucks in my life right now.

  Poor dove.

11 comments on “Death of a Dove

  1. Aw man, that’s terrible but I wouldnt blame yourself.

    red- thanks but I do, just a little bit. I should know better. When the kids were young’uns we tried rescuing birds and they almost never survived our well-intentioned care.

  2. You have the heart and soul of an angel. I know this will sound lame , but I think your little dove may have been sent here for the rest of us…

    I know this is selfish … for me to be warmed clean thru with the obvious love you had in your heart for the poor little thing while at the same time you are feeling so blue.

    I am truly sorry for the loss… but I feel a tad bit closer to you as a web sister. HUGZ

    betme- you ARE my web sister! Thanks for the hugs and the sweet words. You da best.

  3. My google search found this:
    “To see a dead dove is ominous of a separation of husband and wife.”
    I’m not sure if you believe in symbolism, although I think part of you does, but my own interpretation is that this dove was there to remind you that life is short and precious and we need to recognize the beauty in each moment. The dove was a distraction, if nothing else.
    Symbolism aside, that bird was going to die anyway. It was fortunate that you found it and brought it into your home so that it would not die cold and alone. You have a beautiful heart, and you are going through a painful experience right now. I’m sorry for the loss you are feeling. Please remember all that you have, and thank you for taking care of the dying bird.

    birdpress- what a thoughful thing to do and say: “To see a dead dove is ominous of a separation of husband and wife.”
    I suppose I have always believed in symbolism so that quote doesn’t surprise me so much as open my eyes to the “big beyond” once again.
    Have I told you lately how much I love you?

  4. You are so kind and gentle. That dove didn’t die in the cold rain, all alone, he passed peacefully with you loving him/her. I feel like from reading, it was meant to happen. You were put in that space and time for a reason- you saw the dove and instinctively knew he’d fall victim to a predator so you took him/her in. Like I said, not many people would have done that- it really shows what kind of person you are, what you are made of. I’m glad to know you. I’m sorry you had a bad day though. Real sorry.

    Javaqueen- Thanks, my friend. I don’t think many people could have passed that little guy by and not wanted to take care of him. He looked so alone and scared! He’s not hurting now so that’s one good thing.

  5. I’m so sorry about your dove friend. I love animals more than people, so I understand how you got attached. It’s always hard to let an animal go, but you really did something so nice for him by taking him inside and giving him some food. It’s really nice that he didn’t die alone.

    abarclay- ahh, that’s sweet. I was just saying to D. the other day that I love birds and wouldn’t mind getting a parrot at some point. Ironically I found the dove shortly after and got so excited! Maybe the goddesses were trying to tell me “NO!”

  6. at least his last night was spent in a nice home with food and water…instead of alone in the driving rain. 🙂 you tried…and sometimes that’s all you can do.

    curlywurlygurly- I really really did try! 😦

  7. Wow – I hate when things like that happen! It almost seems like such a waste to have found it but then when you think about it, at least that beautiful animal knew some kindness before it left this world. It sure is sad but better than dying cold and alone on a wet pavement or something. So I guess I’m glad you did find it after all and it did bring you beauty on a day you needed it. Another reminder to be thankful for what we have when we have it, eh? Hugs to you!

    teeni- And hugs right back at ya! Thanks for the reminder that it did bring me beauty when I needed it. You are so right! Blessings are all around us all the time. 🙂

  8. Sometimes, it’s just a wild thing’s time to go.

    It comes to you for comfort, and you gave it some comfort.

    That’s all you can do.

    In the 1980s, my dad cut a big buck free from being tangled in a sheep fence. Then it tried to kill him and he dived into the pickup truck bed to avoid being hurt as the animal drove its antlers into the side of the truck because it only understood my dad’s mercy as something to focus its frantic energy on.

    You just have to understand animals as they understand themselves *shrug*

    Gadfly- Yeah, I keep reminding myself that. After all the animals on the farm you’d think I’d get that but sometimes some animal gets under your skin and affects you more, doesn’t it? I get what you mean, though, completely.

  9. I’m so sorry about your losing the dove. I think everyone has pretty much said everything that I would have said. I’ve always felt that everything that happens does so for a reason. I think your daughter said it best “life is short and precious and we need to recognize the beauty in each moment.” Your daughter sounds like a great girl.

    joan- Thanks, sweety! and YES, my daughter IS a great girl/woman/daughter! 🙂

  10. I’m on board with Joan, BirdPress knows what she’s talking about, and the whole husband/wife symbolism thing really hit home. 😐 I’m sending a big bear hug your way, hope it’s still warm when it gets there. 😉

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