Playing Fair

_divorce100.jpg I got the property appraisals back yesterday. Wow. I look good on paper.

 Now I have to figure out how to get my STBE (Soon-to-be-Ex) to buy me out so I can get out of this fishbowl I live in. Here’s the deal:  I live in “our” old house on one side of the road, my daughter, her husband, and son live across the street, and my ex has a business diagonally across from me where he spends the better part of the week, along with all our  employees. AND since he keeps all the classic cars over there along with storing a couple for his friends, I get to see many of those people, too. Nothing I do goes unnoticed or unremarked upon. If D. comes to spend a few days with me, everyone knows about it.

 Not that I give a damn what they think.  I just don’t like being on display so much of the time.

 I am not the screwing-around party in the marriage. Three years ago my STBE left me , saying that perhaps some time away from each other would be good for us. We had been having problems for a long time. After a couple of weeks we actually were getting along better. He would stop in often and we finally got to the point where we could talk without fighting or bickering. It was good.

 Then about two and a half months later he stopped by and said he wanted to tell me something before I heard it from someone else. He said he’d “met someone” and they were “in love“.   ……..huh?

 I thought we were in the process of repairing our marriage and he MET SOMEONE and THEY’RE IN LOVE?!! WTF????

 Oh, and the  girlfriend? She’s the recently divorced ex-wife of one of his good friends! And even better? She has the same first name as me!  Happy Happy Joy Joy!!!

I later ran into his girlfriend’s ex and he told me my bastard of a husband had been planning on leaving me for years!!

Was I angry? Shit yeah!

Am I still? No, absolutely not. It is over and I am now happier than I’ve been in many years. But the divorce will probably be messy considering we have many assets to divvy up and the STBE is a selfish prick who hides things really well and always has. I have never known, in thirty three years of marriage, how much money he makes a week! I am in the process of trying to figure out just what my half of this marriage is worth, thus the appraisals.

 I just started this whole legal battle and already I am tired of it. I wish it would all go away. I just want to be able to spend some time with D. and get on with living the rest of my life as happily as I can. I know I am not much of a fighter. I never have been but this battle may just determine the quality of the rest of my life. I had better be prepared to do whatever is necessary to make sure things get done fairly.

 I like my new attorney. He is calm but feisty, someone who speaks quietly but can be as tough as nails if he needs to be for a client. I like that! I feel calmer knowing he’s got my best interests at heart (or checkbook, whatever.)

 OK, tomorrow I get to work trying to make this thing go as smoothly and as painlessly as possible.

7 comments on “Playing Fair

  1. Spidey-
    Thanks, my sweet friend! Half is all I want. He and Shrek (aka his girlfriend) have my blessings on the rest. Won’t he be surprised when I let him know that I know how much those cars of his are worth though!!! HA!!!!

    Sounds good but he’s far shrewder than that. It’s more an issue of him hiding cash and not letting anybody know. There is nothing on any computer to nail him, I can guarantee!
    But thanks for any ideas!

  2. Your STBE and my Ass ( I mean ex) are from the same mold. He had several under-the-table deals going on at any one time.

    He recently married a 24 year old street hoochie with four kids. (I am not bitter, they are both getting what they deserve)

    Karma at it’s best.

    Give him hell. I am cheering for you from over here in the corner.

  3. oh, so there are more of them than I thought! I like that you refer to him as your “Ass”. I may confiscate that term once the divorce decree comes though. Would you mind? LOL

    Thanks for your cheering and support. Girl needs her friends watching her back!

  4. Hey Trisha – I linked to you from MoonDog’s site, and just have to offer my condolences for your shitty situation. Best of luck, I certainly hope you stick it to him during the divorce process. It embarrasses me, as a man, that other men do stuff like this to the women they swore in front of God to be faithful to. I’m getting married soon, and I’m not like your STBE. Sorry, long-winded response there, but again, best of luck to you, and I’m enjoying your site!

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